[Applause]
ben
schwartz
how you doing i'm good dave how are you
i'm good thank you very much uh it's
interesting to me
and probably to you yeah maybe less to
you more to me i don't know
you used to work here at cbs in this
building yeah you were in the in the
page program is that right i was yeah i
was all the people that helped you come
into the audience today i was one of
them
11 years old and now
here he is
major best friends star best friends yes
we're best friends very close after 11
years
is this uh would for people interested
in in a career in show business was was
this a good route for you it was amazing
what i did is i started here as a page
and then slowly i became a freelance
writer for the monologue so i was able
to we would use your jokes periodically
yeah which was amazing but one of the
funniest things is that um the the pages
are stationed against the wall and the
side so as dave would say his monologue
at the end of his monologue i'm assuming
you still do it um he would point to
paul
and be like paul shaffer and then that
the music would bring him out so i know
when i'm standing there when dave went
like this if i didn't get a joke on that
meant i didn't get any jokes on that day
and there are many episodes of the late
show with david letterman where right
before if i didn't get a joke on and i
was standing there right before he
pointed and i see that segment was over
i go come on yeah and you could hear
that in the uh in the episode because
you it's my famous tagline from later
counting on that 75
now that 75 is paid for the fax machine
so i could fax in jokes now when you say
you assume i still point to paul that
suggests that perhaps you're not viewing
each night
no
that's not i thought that was the miss
of course
maybe one out of a hundred times he'd
point to paul and run past and come back
that doesn't happen anymore okay so then
uh now you you uh you stay here for a
while and then you move to california
shortly thereafter and you all of a
sudden you're on tv shows it was very it
was very strange i i waited to the very
last second uh to move to l.a because my
family's rooted here and all my best
friends and stuff and then when i did
within the first month of me moving
there um i became very fortunate and i
got cast in a pilot and a movie and i
wrote for the oscars uh all in the same
month um
which is ludicrous it's insane yeah easy
which made me believe that oh all you
have to do is move to la and look at all
these amazing things that happen all you
have to do is move to la and tell people
that you used to work for dave letterman
that's all it takes
any bar anything you went to that's
right anybody you met
i'd be like oh you can't come into this
club excuse me um i used to work for
david letterman
right here sir
so they hired you to be on the uh right
for the academy awards yeah that must
have been fun right it was insane it was
crazy it was at a time where i didn't
have a place to stay x i just moved and
i was living out of all my stuff was in
the back of a rented car and i had set
up shop and my friend chad's apartment
so i lived in a tent uh in his living
room and so i would write for the oscars
yeah this is the dream come true
i would write for the oscars and be
around all these incredibly talented
people and then come home
and uh slept in a tent for privacy so i
could sleep in my boxers without anybody
seeing me sleep in my boxers
wow
chad is a really good friend chad is a
great friend
chad is a great friend unusual yes yes
yes
now did you go to the show the the
account i did i went to i went to uh i
went to the show because we were there
just in case the punch jokes up the last
second and i didn't have a tuxedo uh so
i had to borrow a tuxedo that i'm sure
many many people have borrowed in the
past
and um slept in that tuxedo that night
in a tent this is a very weird story to
be telling
not the one i thought i'd be sharing uh
but yeah but it it was that amazing
moment of like doing what i loved but
still immediately realizing oh wait a
second you're nobody you should be you
sleep in a tent yeah
but now and then house of lies but also
uh throughout the run of the parks and
recreation yes you've been a recurring
character there
now sadly that's that's coming to an end
that is this is the last year so i play
a character named john ralphio and
there's only a couple more episodes left
uh and i'm going to appear in a few
coming up which is amazing and um it's
weird because that's been my constant
throughout i've done a bunch of
different shows but i get being a guest
on that uh so to lose that is incredibly
weird i'm so sad to lose it but uh it's
amazing takes place in indiana it's just
a great show right and a tremendous cast
so funny and uh a great place to work i
would assume it would have to be and
this has become part of your family or
you've become part of this yeah yeah
and then it's weird to have that strip
your your family's literally stripped
from you pulled away from you but here
uh now we have the house of lives so
that's pretty good yeah yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah and it's on uh sundays uh 10
p.m at showtime well congratulations
thank you
why don't you help with the audience
when they leave tonight yeah i'll show
you guys where the bathroom is
absolutely ben schwartz ladies and
gentlemen congratulations ben good to
see you
[Music]