GOOD EVENING LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
AND WELCOME TO THE MARCY PROJECTS
HERE IN BROOKLYN, NEW YORK.
WHY ARE WE HERE?
TO BUY WEED?
NOT THIS TIME, BILL.
NOPE, EVERY ONE KNOWS WE'RE HERE FOR ONE REASON
AND ONE REASON ONLY.
WE'RE HERE FOR THE EIGHTH ANNUAL
WORLD SERIES OF DICE.
WELL, THAT'S RIGHT, ROB.
SOME OF THE GREATEST PLAYERS FROM AROUND THE WORLD
HAVE GATHERED HERE TO COMPETE FOR THE GRAND PRIZE:
ONE ANOTHER'S MONEY
AND BRAGGING RIGHTS FOR THE WHOLE YEAR.
LET'S MEET THEM, THESE KINGS OF CLICK-CLACK.
FROM KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI, LEGENDARY SHOOTER
GRITS N' GRAVY.
KANSAS CITY, MISSOURI.
FLYING IN FROM THE FAR EAST IS PHYUCK YIU,
ONE OF THE PREMIER DICE PLAYERS
IN THE EASTERN HEMISPHERE.
HE HAS PLAYED DICE IN SOME OF THE GULLYEST OF GAMES.
PHYUCK YIU.
KONICHIWA, BITCHES!
DROP THE CARD, BABY!
AND THAT'S LEONARD WASHINGTON.
YOU KNOW THEY SAY,
"PAPA DIDN'T TAKE NO MESS."
WELL, NEITHER DOES LEONARD.
MY NAME'S LEONARD WASHINGTON.
WHERE I'M FROM?
A LITTLE TOWN CALLED
"NONE OF YOUR GOD DAMN BUSINESS."
LET'S PLAY SOME DICE, BITCHES.
AND FINALLY, FROM THESE VERY PROJECTS,
LOCAL LEGEND ASHY LARRY.
WHY DO THEY CALL HIM ASHY LARRY?
WELL, THERE'S YOUR ANSWER.
ASHY LARRY.
MARCY PROJECTS.
MARCY, SON. WHAT.
OKAY, LARRY GETS FIRST ROLL.
LET'S SEE HOW HE DOES.
THAT MAN IS DRIER THAN KUNTA KINTE'S ANKLE.
COME ON, LET'S GO.
I STOLE THIS MONEY OUT OF MY GIRL'S PURSE.
SHE THINK I'M OUT EMPTYING THE TRASH.
COME ON, BABY, I NEED THIS.
WHAT YOU NEED IS SOME CHAPSTICK
AND A SET OF TROUSERS.
ROLL THE DICE, YOU ASHY MOTHER FUCKER.
START THE GAME.
ALL RIGHT, BUT I'M ABOUT TO GO FROM ASHY TO CLASSY.
[moaning]
OOH, AND JUST LIKE THAT, ASHY LARRY IS ELIMINATED.
OUCH.
SHE GONNA KILL ME. KEISHA GONNA KILL ME.
LARRY, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?
I WAS--OKAY, REMEMBER, I WAS EMPTYING THE TRASH--
AND THAT BETTER NOT BE THE MONEY
OUT MY GOD DAMN PURSE!
I WAS--OKAY, REMEMBER--
PICK THE SHIT UP AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
THAT'S JUST WHAT I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU!
I WAS JUST TAKING THE TRASH OUT.
YOU HEAR ME? I WAS JUST TAKING THE TRASH--
SHE IS GONNA FUCK HIM UP.
YOU SAID IT, BILL.
OKAY, GRITS N' GRAVY IS UP NEXT.
NOW, GRITS IS MOST KNOWN FOR ONCE ROLLING
77 SEVENS IN A ROW AT A CASINO IN LAS VEGAS,
MAKING HIM A MILLIONAIRE IN THE PROCESS.
WELL, YOU KNOW, ROB, EARLIER TODAY,
WE ASKED HIM WHAT HE DID WITH THE MONEY.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK.
I BOUGHT MY MAMA A CAR.
I SPENT THE REST ON PCP.
OKAY, SIMPLE ENOUGH.
I LIKE HIS STYLE.
LOVES HIS MOTHER.
LOVES PCP.
GRITS N' GRAVY IS READY TO ROLL.
LET'S SEE HOW HE DOES.
COME ON, PUT IN.
ALL RIGHT.
PUT UP OR SHUT UP.
ALL RIGHT. JUST HOLD ON.
TIME TO DOUBLE UP!
HERE TO TAKE EVERYBODY MONEY.
SEVEN! SEVEN!
SEVEN!
WHAT YOU ALL KNOW ABOUT SEVEN?
PAY ME.
BOY, YOU ARE THE GODDAMN DEVIL.
PUT IT DOWN THERE. PUT IT DOWN THERE!
LET'S SPREAD THIS AROUND. YES.
HUBBA-HUBBA!
A'IGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M TIRED.
I AIN'T GOT ALL DAY.
I GOT BABIES TO KISS AND BITCHES TO CATCH.
ALL IN.
ALL IN?
I SEE YOU.
[dramatic whistling]
AND LEONARD LAYING IT ON THICK.
AN INCREDIBLE STARE DOWN
BETWEEN LEONARD AND GRITS.
LOOK AT THE FLARING NOSTRILS.
MAKES ME WANT TO THROW UP.
OOH!
SNAKE EYES! DAMN!
AND JUST LIKE THAT, GRITS IS ELIMINATED.
AND WHEN I LEAVE, COME TOGETHER LIKE BUTT CHEEKS.
AND IT COMES DOWN TO THESE TWO MEN,
LEONARD WASHINGTON AND PHYUCK YIU.
I WANT EVERYBODY IN HERE TO GET BUTT-ASS NAKED!
GET YOUR GODDAMN CLOTHES OFF!
THIS IS A ROBBERY!
AND ALMOST ON CUE THE GAME GETS ROBBED.
LOCAL THUG RODNEY "QUILLS" DINKINS,
BREAKING INTO THE MARCY PROJECTS HALLWAY HERE
AND TELLING US ALL TO GET BUTT NAKED.
YOU KNOW, BILL, DICE GAMES GET ROBBED.
IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME.
THEY VERY RARELY COME TO A REASONABLE END.
TV IS NO DIFFERENT.
WHAT YOU WAITING FOR, COOL BREEZE?
GET BUTT NAKED RIGHT NOW!
GET IT OFF, SON!
FIRST OF ALL, YOU BETTER CHECK YOUR TONE WITH ME, MAN.
I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO.
I'M LEONARD WASHINGTON.
I DON'T GET BUTT NAKED FOR NOBODY.
YOU WANT THIS ROLL, NIGGA,
YOU GONNA HAVE TO SHOOT ME.
OKAY.
THIS MOTHER FUCKER HAS LOST HIS MIND.
GOD DAMN!
AND LEONARD TAKES A SLUG TO THE LEG.
OH, BUT I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING, ROB,
YOU NOTICED HE SHOT HIM BELOW THE WAIST,
SO IT'S NOT ATTEMPTED MURDER.
THAT WAS VERY INTELLIGENT ON QUILLS' PART.
QUILLS KNOWS THE LAW.
THIS IS WHY BLACK PEOPLE DON'T HAVE NOTHING.
THIS IS JUST WHAT THEY WANT US TO DO.
YOUR MOTHER AIN'T SHIT.
AND JUST IN TIME, HERE COMES DUMB ASS ASHY LARRY.
WHERE THE DICE? WHERE THE DICE?
WHERE THE DICE?
YO, GIVE ME THAT MONEY, SON!
GO UPSTAIRS AND PUT ON SOME LOTION, RIGHT NOW!
KEISHA TOLD ME JUST TO EMPTY THE TRASH.
WELL, ROB, I GOT TO ADMIT,
I SAW THIS ROBBERY COMING FROM A MILE AWAY,
WHICH IS WHY I PUT MY CAR KEYS UP MY ASS.
QUICK THINKING.
THAT'S RIGHT, BITCH. GET THEM GODDAMN CLOTHES OFF.
GET THAT MONEY UP. GET THAT MONEY UP!
OKAY, OKAY.
SO ON BEHALF OF BILL BURR AND QUILLS,
I'M ROBERT PETCOFF SAYING--
GET THAT RING OFF. GET THAT RING OFF, MAN!
SORRY, HONEY.
SO LONG FROM THE MARCY PROJECTS
AND THE WORLD SERIES OF DICE.
HOPEFULLY, NEXT YEAR,
WE'LL BE ABLE TO GET ALL THE WAY THROUGH IT,
BUT PROBABLY NOT.
SHUT THE FUCK UP, MAN!
PUT THEM CAMERAS IN A BOX!