Before we jump into this video I just want to thank Jack for taking over part 2 for me
while I was away in the rainy UK -- he did quite the stellar job -- don’t you think?
Well, you guys seemed to enjoy it so much that we’re now back with a part 3 to our
list of the Top 5 Worst Horror Movie Remakes -- and honestly guys -- there are SO many
-- I don’t think we will ever run out.
It’s rather upsetting.
Before we begin make sure you stick around to the end of the video where I’ll be responding
to some of your comments -- and don’t forget, if you’re a fan of the vid make sure to
give it a big thumbs up.
Alright, let’s jump in.
5 Cabin Fever Eli Roth’s 2002 Cabin Fever is excellent.
It follows five college graduates on a trip to the woods who falls victim to a truly disgusting
flesh-eating virus.
Seriously, if you haven’t watched it, go do that now.
One particular scene still haunts me to this day.
A girl in the bathtub shaving her legs -- but it’s not just hair that comes off -- nope
-- her skin does as well.
Horrible.
So -- with any successful film Hollywood execs of course feel obliged to remake it, and that’s
exactly what happened in 2016.
Didn’t hear about it?
Well, yeah, there’s a reason for that.
Not only did it receive a very generous 3.7 on IMdB, but it also received a more fitting
0% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Honestly -- I’m not exaggerating here -- this film is atrocious.
It follows the exact same premise as the original -- not only that -- but it’s essentially
the exact same thing aside from the fact that it’s bad.
The acting feels more like a table read with understudy actors who weren’t prepared to
star in a Hollywood film.
The film in essence is pointless.
Why remake a film when you’re going to steal every possible move from the original -- it
makes no sense.
It feels as though you’re stuck in a swamp for 2hours, waiting for some sort of mediocre
plot to take place.
Spoiler alert -- it doesn’t.
4 Black Christmas Now -- the 1974 Black Christmas is no masterpiece
by any stretch -- following a group of sorority girls as they’re stalked by a killer during
christmas break.
However -- it did push the boundaries of horror for a film released in the 70’s.
It featured a phenomenal final girl who is not punished by death for wanting to have
an abortion.
Pretty damn great in my opinion.
But -- the remake is just down right baffling.
First of all, let me just list off the cast.
Katie Cassidy -- a wannabe actress whose name gets her most places, Michelle Trachtenberg
who is essentially her Buffy character in anything she does, our Lord and savour Mary
Elizabeth Winstead -- I refuse to judge her for this trainwreck -- she has more than redeemed
herself.
Lacey Chabert -- aka, that’s why her hair is so big -- it’s full of secrets.
And Oliver Hudson -- the lesser known brother of Kate Hudson.
The cast alone makes me want to give this film 2 out of 10 -- but let’s continue.
The film gives the killer a tragic backstory so we are forced to sympathize with his murderous
motives.
He lives in the attic and suffers from jaundice -- not only that but he was abused by a number
of different people in his past.
Sad, yes, but not sad enough for me to feel sorry for a homicidal maniac is preys on young
girls.
The beauty of the original was that we never saw the face of the killer -- we only ever
heard his name whispered.
Sometimes not seeing is more effective.
3 When A Stranger Calls Ok, to begin -- can we all stop pretending
that Camilla Belle can act.
She can’t.
It’s painful.
She was in one good film -- Practical Magic -- and that was when she was about 10 years
old.
So, please, let’s stop casting her in bad movie remakes.
Released in 2006, this American Horror was directed by Simon West, and centres on Belle
who plays a babysitter who begins to receive disturbing and threatening phone calls from
a stranger.
Now -- the original is great, really great -- and pushes things to an extreme that you
were not quite prepared for, aka, killing off the children at the end of the film.
However -- the remake -- well as we would expect, it plays it safe.
First of all, the entire fill is far too stretched out, even for a film that is only 1 hour and
27 minutes long.
Seriously -- the phone calls become monotonous -- Camilla Belle is the worst victim -- and
the kids -- well they don’t even die.
Honestly, what’s the point?!
2 The Haunting
Now -- you might know this film better by it’s book title The Haunting of Hill House
-- and no -- the Netflix TV show that we all know and love is nothing like the book -- original
film -- or remake.
It’s better.
Now -- I will say the original 1963 Haunting is by far one of the scariest films I’ve
ever seen -- it follows a scientist doing research on the paranormal in the now iconic
Hill House -- inviting two women to partake in his experiment.
Eleanor Lance and Theodora -- the former losing her mind in the process and tragically ending
her life in the final climactic moment of both the book and film.
In 1999 a remake of the psychological horror was released -- starring none other than Catherine
Zeta Jones.
Unlike the original the remake overloads itself with jump scares -- special effects and loud
unnecessary sound cues.
I will say -- the one consistent theme that the remake held onto was the subtle gay vibes
between Nell and Theo -- I was a fan -- unfortunately the TV show ruined that for all of us because
they are now sisters.
What a waste.
Also, Nell’s dead so, I guess nothing was ever going to happen.
Now -- even if the remake played with the subtleties the original mastered so well -- it
still would have been a trainwreck.
No part of the film was scary -- especially not the CGI ghost jumping out of a painting.
The film is closer to an action movie than a horror -- perhaps because the director also
made the film Speed starring Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock.
All in all the film was ill-equipped and too reliant on special effects to even touch the
beauty of the original.
1 The Fog
First things first -- stop remaking John Carpenter films -- Just don’t do it.
Honestly -- his films are iconic -- terrifying -- and arguably some of the best things to
come out of cinema.
So why do his masterpieces the diservice or remaking them and casting Superman in the
title role.
And not even the good superman -- the smallville one.
Carpenter’s 1980’s cult classic is an incredibly spooky ghost story, starring Jamie
Lee Curtis.
And if you don’t already know -- it centres on an otherworldly fog that descends on a
coastal town 100 years after a ghostly ship sank in its waters.
Creepy.
Carpenter himself wasn’t even a fan of his own film -- but overtime it has grown into
the cult classic it is today.
So -- as you can imagine, when the remake hit theatres in 2005, folks weren’t all
too pleased.
As I stated before, Tom Welling, aka, Superman nabbed the title role -- how? -- well, that’s
beyond me.
He’s as wooden as Orlando Bloom in Lord of the Rings -- and I can honestly say the
only films he should be making are more sequels to Cheaper By the Dozen.
I miss them.
Like our previous numbers -- the remake relies on CGI rather than the practical effects that
made the original that much more creepy.
And, like most early 2000’s movies, the entire cast looked as though they were still
sitting their high school exams.
Hollywood, seriously, this is not believable.
High School students aren’t going to save the day.
They’re inside playing video games, get with the times.
Seriously Hollywood -- how hard is it to tell the story of Pirate ghosts emerging out of
the fog to seek vengeance.
Well, there we have it!
What did you guys think?
Did you hate these remakes as much as I did?
Were there any that we missed?
Leave us all your thoughts and feelings in the comments down below.
And -- if you were a fan and want a part 4, I can definitely make that happen.
There are a concerning amount of bad remakes out there in the world for us to feast up.
Before we go I just want to respond to a few comments from one our last videos, Top 5 Conjuringverse
Fan Theories”
The1tigglet said “Why not bring back Ryan Reynolds?
He was sexy AF in that movie!”
-- I mean you’re not wrong -- but when his best scenes are the ones where he shirtless
and silent -- I think that’s a problem.
He was totally miscast for that film.
Zed Seiba said “Another great video Lucy!
Please shout out my name, I’m one of your fans -- Well thanks Zed -- Here’s your shoutout!
Robert the Dude said “Can you do Top 5 Gaming Creepypastas” -- If it’s requested enough
then yes -- I will talk to the higher ups and see what we can do.
If you haven’t already be sure to give this video a big thumbs up, subscribe, and turn
on notifications so you never miss another scary vid.
If you want to continue on your horror binge be sure to hit that playlist on your screen
right now, and until next time, see ya later!