Hi, my name is ColdBeer and let’s start with Planescape Torment: Enhanced Edition
This classic game has been updated with a 4K interface and a remastered soundtrack.
So it was reborn again with a new beautiful face. A thing most of us will never have.
But don’t let the pretty paint job fool you: this is a story-rich tactical RPG
with a mind bending story and massive world! World of Planescape: Torment features 5000 pages
of dialogs, so there is way less combat and a lot more exploring and reading. People who created
this game had a serious writing problem. You know how many pages of text a typical 8
minute Youtube video has? About 5, that slightly varies depending on reading speed and text
size. So it’s easy to say that Planescape Torment contains the same amount of text as
average 1000 Youtube videos. That’s how massive it is. It probably even bends time and space.
A real rival to your mama. People on Steam comments say that
the story is unique, the characters are extremely well developed, and at the end chances are good
that you will feel an actual attachment to the companions you meet along the way. Well,
when you have no friends in real life, you get attached to imaginary ones, that’s fair.
Also I even know several guys who prefer Planescape: Torment over Baldur’s Gate and
I can see why. But I also have heard of people who eat strawberries with mayonnaise. So take
this info with the grain of salt. And this video is Brought to you
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TaleSpire Overwhelmingly positive reviews is not a
common thing on Steam, that's for sure. Only a few hundred out of tens of thousands games have it.
And this game is not a typical game as well. TaleSpire is a beautiful way to play pen and
paper RPGs except here you won’t need pen and paper. Instead you can bring your own stories
to life and embark upon campaigns together with your friends, regardless of where you are in
the world and the engine of TaleSpire will do everything it can to make you happy.
No it can’t do that, you pervert. So in a way it's a tabletop game,
where the rules, battles and adventures are supervised by AI. As developers say - the
beauty and physicality of tabletop gaming here meet the endless possibilities of a
digital world. Here you can collaboratively build your worlds without compromising the handcrafted
aesthetic of using traditional miniatures. You can take on the mantle of multiple heroes
and creatures, manage your stats, and express yourself using the emote system.
Perform dice rolls directly on the board and interact with your environment.
As a Game Master, you can dazzle and thrill your friends by building expansive maps,
setting up shots, and controlling immersive soundscapes to bring
all your delightful and devious designs to life. I can imagine what my scenario would be called:
Vodka Bender and Potato Salad Man against the evil mothers in law in majestic Coldbeeristan.
Sounds great! I also have to say that TaleSpire
is not tied to a specific game or ruleset. You make rules or bend them as you wish and
the game makes sure that no one can break them. Game is in Early Access right now, so
don't expect miracles, but hey... early access game with Overwhelmingly positive reviews?
Now I've seen everything. Dungeon of Naheulbeuk
This is a humoristic approach to this serious RPG genre. Here you will find exciting battles
with creative support mechanics between team members, and an adaptive difficulty system:
from an accessible and fun story mode with simplified combat to the “nightmare mode” where
the smallest tactical errors will doom you! And yeah, people on Steam are talking that the
game should probably be played on the easiest difficulty, unless you can read the developer's
mind and know exactly how to build and equip your characters for each hand-made battle.
Also the game’s humor reminds of 80’s sitcoms and is probably strongly influenced by Terry
Pratchet books. So be sure you like that. Here you will also encounter more than 100
enemies and really epic boss battles. I don't know, all of this sounds really fun, not every
game must have a serious story, sometimes we all need to relax and this game might be just it.
Solasta Crown of the Magister This is the only game where I managed to roll
4 criticall misses in a row while fighting lowest level spiders and my whole party died.
That happened in Early Access a long time ago, but it’s hard to forget how evil this game was at the
beginning of its journey. Now it’s ok, although don’t expect miracles, this game is still hard
and forgives no rookie mistakes. Despite that this is one of the
coolest party-based RPGs. Here you will discover the
shattered world of Solasta and explore ruins and dungeons for legendary treasures. Many dangers
hide in the dark, but a light can also attract monsters scarier than your ex-mother in law.
I’m kidding, nothing is scarier than she is. Here some enemies have darkvision and some may
flee from your torch. You never know. Anyway, not simple light, but the light from your fireballs
will keep you safe, just like playing games like these keeps your virginity safe as well.
Pillars of Eternity One of the most famous CRPG titles out there.
It's hard to believe, but at the moment about 7 years have already passed since the initial
release of the game. Pillars of Eternity really conquered the hearts of RPG fans - it has a great
storyline, fun D&D mechanics, eye-catching visuals and also the most important thing in
these games - your choices and decisions really matter. Well, if they are dumb you will suffer
as you are suffering in real life now, because long time ago you wrongly decided
not to become an outstanding penis doctor. Oh, what a doctor you could've become. Anyway,
it is what it is. And in the game you can always chose to replay you dumb answers
and make a good call after all. Which is way harder to do in real life.
People are talking that Pillars of Eternity is a spiritual successor of Baldur's Gate,
but it really lacks some voice acting and voice over and it has walls of text you have to read
and understand. Well, it's not a book but it's leaning to that side quite heavily.
And there is also Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire
Which you can play without any knowledge of the first part to be honest. Here you will pursue a
rogue god over land and sea, captain your ship on a dangerous voyage of discovery across the vast
unexplored archipelago region of the Deadfire. Also have you noticed how all the names in
fantasy games and books have some doomy and gloomy meaning?
Region of Deadfire, Lands of Crying Souls, Mountain of Doom, Sea of Sorrow, River of Endless
Suffering, Forest of Dying Sins and so on, while in the real world all those places would probably
have way less terrifying names given to them by locals, such as Region of Rocks, Lands of Dirt,
The Volcano, Sea of Water, River of Fishing and Forest of Pedophiles.
Yeah, this is an exception, way more terrifying than Forest of Dying Sins
to be fair. Don’t go there. Anyway, all the names are way less poetic in the real world.
So in Deadfire you will bend the world to your will, as you explore the depths of endless
possibilities, including detailed character customization, total freedom of exploration,
and meaningful choices at every turn. Ok, maybe not all of those are meaningful
and probably not at every turn as well, but the game is great, bad comments on Steam or GOG are
quite rare. Usually people are complaining about the loading speed. To be honest it's
blasphemy to even call it a loading speed, it’s a loading sloth, and that’s at best.
Wasteland 3 Although this game is
not set in a fantasy world, I don’t think many Baldur’s Gate fans would disagree with me if I
put this wonderful game in this list. Here you will take command of a squad
of Desert Rangers, lawmen in a post-apocalyptic world, trying to
rebuild society from the radioactive ashes. More than a century after the bombs fell,
you will fight a losing battle to keep your beloved homeland alive.
So you’re dispatched on a desperate quest from the scorching deserts to the snowy mountains to
start from scratch, building a new base, finding a great vehicle, training new recruits, and fighting
your way through hostile frozen wastes. You know it really reminds me of my homeland
Lithuania. We don’t even need a nuclear winter to live like this. Everything is
frozen here 5 months a year. Every year. In Wasteland 3 you have to face difficult
moral choices and make decisions that will change the world around you as well.
All games are promising us that choices-matter deal, but Wasteland 3 really delivers. And you
know, here you will find lots of dialogues and most of them are really funny. Yeah,
the game will keep you and your sexy body entertained for many hours.
Torment: Tides of Numenera I have to say that while the game
is inspired by this classic game, Tides of Numenera doesn’t share the lore of Planescape:
Torment. Instead it shares the composer Mark Morgan, a dude who created music not only for
Planescape Torment but also for Fallout 1 and 2, so ingame you will hear about
50 different music tracks made by him. Here your words, choices, and actions are
your primary weapons - meaning that this game consists mostly of reading
and talking rather than fighting. World of Numenera is a really impressive,
hand drawn original setting filled with offbeat and unpredictable items to use in and out of
battle, and also cool feats of magic. Powered by technology used in the award-winning Pillars
of Eternity, the game provides numerous wonders and impressive locations for you to explore.
People are talking that one of the best parts of Numenera is the character creation process,
good leveling mechanics and interesting NPCs, but boy oh boy there are so many
comments about the reading part. So I have one piece of advice - play this game not
when you want to play the game, but when you want to read a book. It will probably be a wonderful
game for Steam Deck, so you can play this in bed comfortably... along with your virginity.
Expeditions: Viking Game description says:
A small band of Norse warriors lands on the shores of England. History may have forgotten
their names, but their actions live on. Well... I should probably say that the actions
vikings made in real life England involved a lot of pillaging and other crimes. So romantic!
TV series named Vikings and later an even better and even more epic TV show named
Norsemen teached us about that really well. Game has very positive reviews on Steam,
but there are also quite a few comments saying that the game is a bit too slow, you know,
just like your sister, so be careful, read those comments before buying.
Expeditions: Rome This is an indirect sequel of Expeditions:
Viking and it has already accumulated a very positive review score on Steam as well.
So here you will create your own Roman legacy, customize your character’s look,
gender, class, and skills to match your playstyle and role-playing fantasy. Although I doubt
that we will get a slider for our ding-dong size, that would be a pleasant surprise.
Here, as in the prequel, you will engage in tactical turn-based
combat powered by an extensive skill-based action system, where every weapon changes your potency
on the battlefield. A great game for people who like to use that tiny organ between our ears.
Divinity: Original Sin 2 I remember when several years ago I
was still working as a copywriter in one fancy advertising agency, I had a coworker who was
a hardened gamer. And by that I mean that he played all the games on hard difficulty
and had no trouble with it. I don’t remember his name, so let’s call him Dude for this story.
One early morning I came to work and Dude was sitting on my desk with red eyes wide open.
“HAVE YOU PLAYED DIVINITY ORIGINAL SIN 2” he asked me.
And I was like “no, I don’t even know what that is”. And then Dude said: “that is the best game
I have ever played, you MUST try it. Playing this game will be the best thing you will ever do”
And I was like, Dude don’t underestimate your mother.
Anyway, then he just went home. To sleep. It turned out that he installed the game before
going home last evening and played it all night at work. That probably got him fired.
I don’t know, honestly I was fired sooner for playing Hearthstone at work all day.
Office life wasn’t for me anyway. So be careful, check if you have a lot
of free time before diving into Original Sin 2- Overwhelmingly positive Steam reviews are there
for a reason. Encased
Another Sci-fi party-based RPG, but it’s really good and it has very positive reviews on Steam
so I decided to include it into the list as well. People are talking that Encased is like
an inbred baby of Mass Effect and classic Fallout and that is never a bad thing.
Well, I’ll be honest, most of the negative comments revolve around the story - the
further you play, the more you are disappointed with the given answers or no answers at all,
things are getting repetitive and the sheer amount of looting containers
is just wasting your time as you go. But this is a great game character-wise, a
recomendation of one player is just to play it as a convict with an intelect score of 1 and you will
see that developers actually care and took their time to create a narrative for a dumb person.
That sounds cool, especially that the writing in this game is actually really
good. Not as good as your wife’s skill of faking an orgasm, but close enough.
Tyranny Like Pillars of Eternity it is created by the
narrative masterminds at Obsidian Entertainment. Tyranny is a classic-styled RPG with an original
story, shaped and molded by your actions. Game looks great, it is really aesthetically
pleasing to the eye. And reviews on Steam are very positive as well: you have to scroll hard
to find any bad ones. As people say, this game plays just like Baldur's Gate, so you
probably won’t be disappointed if you buy it. Although be prepared to read a lot. This is more
like a book than an actual game. You will get your fighting portion as well, but it is a slow
paced game, make sure you have several hours of free time before you sit down with it.
Stolen Realm This is a bit of
a different title, but I doubt that fans of Baldur's Gate will be mad about it, because
this game looks really awesome. Here you can play alone or up to 6 players in online co-op.
Stolen has a simultaneous team turn system implemented for faster combat and character
scaling, meaning that no matter how many people will join you on your quest - the overall
difficulty of the game will stay the same. Here more than 240 skills in 8 distinct skill
trees, 500 items and fun rewarding activities will keep you entertained. Game is in early access,
but it already has very positive reviews, so it's a great sign. People are talking
that the game is really enjoyable, but best if played in a group of 2 to 4 people.
For example I don't have this amount of friends, so I will skip it and keep my
virginity strong with other games, but if you have a buddy or two, invite your
both mothers-in-law and have fun together. And after that, of course, you can try this game.
Tower of Time A story-rich dungeon
crawler with interesting real-time combat that lets you pause or slow time itself. Each battle
here is designed like a tactical puzzle. If you want to enjoy combat, you need to pick
the difficulty which is suitable to your skill and adjust it as you progress.
On the highest difficulty level it is very demanding and requires you to find the synergies
between classes, skills and the equipment. It’s similar to real life when you
are trying to realize what your girlfriend or wife really wants.
So, if you like challenges, this game can really become one of your favorites.
Although because of that, Tower of Time is really suitable for fans of this genre and
not so friendly for new players. On standard difficulty it will burn about 50 hours of
your boring lifetime. Geneforge 1 Mutagen
Well, if you or I entered a beauty contest one day we would feel like
Geneforge feels among other RPGs now. And I mean beautiful, mature and smart. Yeah,
and what did you think of? Raise some confidence, you are an amazing person,
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So Geneforge 1 - Mutagen is a total remaster of a classic game Geneforge released in 2001.
It contains new areas, quests, characters, dialogue, a redone interface and systems,
and a complete rework of every single thing to bring it into the modern era of gaming.
Game also gives you a choice of playing all of this without killing stuff. Well,
almost without killing, but mostly with. You know, diplomacy is a tricky business.
Wartales Here it has been a hundred years
since the world saw the fall of the once great Edoran Empire at the hands of an unprecedented
plague that swept the nation. That suspiciously sounds like the real world nowadays.
So, prepare to lead a group of characters in a huge open world where combat, death
and a thirst for riches will shape and define your day to day life. You are not a special
chosen one ushering in a new era of peace. Nah. Your goal is solely to survive... well,
and thrive in this harsh and hostile land. Again, just like in the real world nowadays.
You can recruit from the vast array of new companions with numerous unique skill sets
and weapon preferences resulting in a plethora of possible builds.
You will accept contracts that will take you on a task to defend, liberate and save the
many inhabitants of the land... for money. Also you will be able to collect bounties! From the
most insignificant petty thieves to the land's most notorious figures, there’s no such thing
as a profit too small to take. You know, that expensive vodka
would not buy itself. Thank you for watching! Don’t
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Have a nice day and I’ll see you next time! Bye!