As we all know, the Myers-Briggs Personality Typology is only a conceptual theory after
all.. So, could personality types be a result of childhood experiences?
Could unavoidable encounters such as unstable parental love, poverty, bullying and insecurity
result in increased empathy, intuition and awareness? Is the INFJ born or made?
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Jumping right into the video with.. Hypothetical Theory #1: Intuition
As A Survival Skill Everyone has intuitive abilities
on some level, whether they choose to acknowledge them or not. It’s a natural human trait. In fact,
almost anyone can strengthen their intuitive abilities if they set their mind to it,
because like a muscle, intuition only gets stronger with practise. And so, is it possible
that INFJs - who are known to rely on intuition on such a deep level - may just have the practise of
having to use their intuitive instincts to handle difficult situations? Is it possible that some
INFJs spent their formative years in environments where having a sense of what's to come helped them
brace for impact? Since introverted intuition is all about internal thoughts, ideas and patterns,
is it possible that early trauma provided a playing ground of scenarios that challenged
this natural instinct? Being able to feel the energies of people around them and being able
to see through other’s ulterior motives all seem like intuitive strengths, but
is it possible that it’s all rooted from a survival mechanism that INFJs developed early on?
Hypothetical Theory #2: Trauma Resulting In Increased Empathy & Awareness
There’s no doubting an INFJs extreme empathy and awareness of the emotions of others. With a deep
understanding of even the most complex people, the INFJ can easily give someone the benefit of the
doubt. But.. how does the INFJ truly understand the emotions of others in difficult times if they
haven’t felt that emotion for themselves? Of course, everyone has a certain level of human
empathy, but what makes the INFJ so equipped to feel the energy of other people? And what
ultimately makes them feel so called to empathize, no matter how controversial the situation may be.
While this deep caring seems like a classic empath trait, or maybe that of a highly sensitive person,
have most INFJs experienced an early trauma that led to this hyper awareness of those around them?
Whether it was an early loss that comes with experiencing heartache of family members and
grief, or witnessing serious bullying in school. Even the smallest experiences can
make an impact on how we carry ourselves in adulthood - and that includes INFJs.
Hypothetical Theory #3: Independence Vs. Unavoidable Self-Reliance
Are INFJs innately independent or were they challenged to become self-reliant at an early age?
Sure, there comes a time when every child begins taking on more and more independence, but then
there are children that have no choice but to do things on their own. Whether that means a lack of
parental responsibility during childhood, or even lack of friendships, making school and socializing
more difficult than it needed to be. Of course, almost every INFJ can agree that they’ve felt like
the blacksheep in most scenarios, choosing to take their own route voluntarily… but
was it really their choice in the beginning, or is this independence a result of settling for the
road of solitude early on? It’s possible that some INFJs have built a wall so high due to this factor
that it feels too uncomfortable to accept help from others. Choosing to do things their own way
can be a great trait, but only if it’s rooted from self-empowerment and not fear of vulnerability.
Hypothetical Theory #4: Closed Off From Meeting New People Due To Fear Of Vulnerability
Speaking of vulnerability, it’s not exactly a word that most INFJs are comfortable with.
Well actually, they love to see the vulnerable side in other people, in fact they live for it.
But when it comes to being vulnerable themselves, it can take a long time
for the true INFJ to step outside of their shell. The question is.. What does the INFJ
contradiction of wanting to meet new people but also not wanting to open up about themselves
stem from? Does it really come from the INFJ feeling content with a smaller group of people?
Or is it all based on a fear of vulnerability due to being shut down in the past? Is the discomfort
around opening up to others similar to their sensitivity to criticisms? Maybe some INFJs have
experienced memorable moments in childhood or adolescence that made them coil inward,
teaching them to never open up until full trust is engaged. So, while the INFJ so desperately craves
human connection, almost like that of a naturally more extroverted personality type, past traumas
have made it unbearable to exercise that desire. Have some INFJs just convinced themselves they
don’t like socializing when it’s actually just a past trauma that needs to be acknowledged?
Hypothetical Theory #5: Being an “Old Soul” Vs. Growing Up Too Fast
The INFJ is filled with wisdoms of all sorts, some they can’t even quite recall how they’ve learned.
The level of intellect and maturity that the INFJ carries themselves with gives them the
title of being the old soul. Defined as having wisdom beyond their years,
the old soul INFJ seems to just know certain things without necessarily having to learn them.
Things that help guide them through life decisions and day-to-day life. According to the MBTI theory,
this sense of knowledge is due in part to the INFJ’s introverted intuition
and extroverted sensing functions that allow them to subconsciously pick up on subtle details of
day-to-day life that others may overlook. But, is this subconscious mechanism a natural ability
or a result of having to know things in order to manage certain childhood crises?
Is this ability just a survival mechanism that the INFJ has gotten familiar with
using during childhood? Does the INFJ feel compelled to ask ‘why’ because they are genuinely
curious or because they feel they may miss out on a crucial piece of information that may help them.
Hypothetical Theory # 6: Imagination & Idealism As An Escape From Reality
Deeply imaginative and generally idealistic, the INFJ personality type is known for their elaborate
inner worlds. Using their vivid dream-like inner thoughts, the INFJ is able to do anything from
fantasize about potential partnerships, dream-up their most ideal life-journey, and even experience
fabricated conversations that have never (and most likely will never) happen. The INFJ inner
mind is like no other, and to this personality type, the world they’re able to create internally
almost always tops their current reality. And this is where introverted intuition
is so interesting, because it can easily be a disguise for an escape from reality. As
much as this aspect of introverted intuition can be considered a natural tendency, it can
also easily be mistaken for someone's attempt to mentally remove themselves from their physical
reality. For example, if a child witnessed their parents fighting constantly throughout childhood,
they would quickly learn mechanisms that allow them to disconnect. So, is it possible that some
INFJs may just be familiar with using imagination and idealistic outlooks as a coping mechanism? A
way to feel better being present in an alternative reality where everything goes their way?
Hypothetical Theory # 7: Deep Conversations In Hopes To Better Understand Themselves
INFJs love deep conversations, and they’re also known for not being as intune with their
own emotions as they are with others. When it comes to their love for deep conversations,
it’s almost impossible to get an INFJ to open up without consistent attempts. This
is because the INFJ is much more interested in trying to understand the other person rather
than share things about themselves. Aside from the vulnerability factor that we’ve already discussed,
some INFJs just don’t have an easy time putting their feelings into words.. Making it incredibly
challenging to reciprocate in information shared. So.. is it possible that the INFJ
is so familiar with basing the way they feel on other people that they don’t allow themselves to
fully feel what they’re feeling? Maybe some INFJs grew up in a household where they weren’t able to
express themselves, and so they learned to only offer emotional support rather than seek it. It’s
possible that the INFJ craves these conversations in order to feel more intune with themselves.
Hypothetical Theory # 8: A Need For Helping Others Vs. People-Pleasing
INFJs are known for both their love for helping others and their people-pleasing tendencies.
Craving harmony above all else, the INFJ will do anything in their power to avoid chaos. But
have they ever asked themselves why they’re so reluctant to experience a little banter,
disagreement, or disappointment? Is it solely based on the fact that
the INFJ is a peace-keeper? Is it really due to their highly sensitive nature and perfectionism?
Or have they experienced past traumas that make any minor uncomfortable situation unbearable?
Is it possible that some INFJs are fearful of the heavy emotions that come with displeasing others,
even if it’s for the sake of their own mental sanity? Do they really want to help other people,
or are they just avoiding helping themselves?
Well, that’s it for today PSYCH-Os.. So, what do you think? Is the INFJ born,
or made? Let us know in the comments below. Also, don’t forget to leave us a like,
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