When you're making a request or giving an invitation,
your word choice can make the difference between
getting and not getting what you want.
I'm going to show you two versions of the same message.
I'd like you think - - which one would you respond to more positively. And why?
Subject: Cookie exchange
Hopefully, you agree that this second version is stronger.
Longer doesn't always mean better.
But in this second draft, Laura took the time to include
a friendly greeting and a more polite invitation.
She's not really being formal.
But she wrote more because it's helpful to explain the event
and mention some details.
Her neighbors will likely respond positively to this message.
Take a look at one reply.
Making requests and giving invitations are common in both personal and business email.
Remember who you're writing to and find the right tone.
Should you be very polite and formal?
Can you be polite but friendly?
Be brief, but always be nice.
If you're writing an invitation, remember to include one or two pleasantries.
Share important details, but you don't have to share everything right away.
Wait till you hear back.
Once the person accepts your invitation,
then you can share all the remaining details.
So just share the most important ones first.
If you're writing a request, make it clear
and make it toward the beginning of your message.
So don't waste words.
You can be polite, but get to the point.
Explain your request as necessary.
If the person is likely to say yes, you can thank them in advance.
If you're not sure... The person could say no.
Maybe you're asking too much.
So you could even apologize and say:
Here are some other phrases you can use in these kinds of emails.
Let's look at one more model, a request.
You'll see how the tone changes when it's more a business-related matter.
Subject: Library volunteers needed.
There's an appropriate greeting, but then Ms. Stiller gets right to the point.
The school needs volunteers.
Some explanation follows, and then
there's a clear call to action:
respond to this message if you're interested.
A final pleasantry and a polite closing come before the signature.
This is a model of a clear request with the right degree of formality.
I hope you found everything helpful.
That's all for now.
Thanks for watching and happy studies!