WELCOME TO THE SHOW,
EVERYBODY.
I AM KEEGAN. - I AM JORDAN.
- AND THIS IS KEY & PEELE.
THANK YOU, YES. THANK YOU.
[cheers and applause]
JORDAN AND I ARE-- WE'RE BIRACIAL.
- YES, HALF BLACK, HALF WHITE.
- AND BECAUSE OF THAT, WE FIND OURSELVES
PARTICULARLY ADEPT AT LYING.
BECAUSE ON A DAILY BASIS WE HAVE TO ADJUST OUR BLACKNESS.
- YES. - YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
- OH, NO, THERE'S MANY REASONS WE DO THAT.
- YEAH.
- I MEAN, TO TERRIFY WHITE PEOPLE.
- YES, THAT'S ONE OF THE MAIN REASONS.
ONE OF THE MAIN REASONS, YEAH.
- BECAUSE, I MEAN, YOU KNOW, WITH THE WAY
THAT WE SOUND, THE WAY THAT WE ACTUALLY TALK,
WE'RE NOT INTIMIDATING ANYBODY WITH THE WAY WE SOUND.
- OH, NO, NO, NO. - WE SOUND VERY WHITE.
- WE SOUND WHITER THAN THE BLACK DUDE
IN THE COLLEGE A CAPPELLA GROUP.
- YES, WE SOUND WHITER THAN MITT ROMNEY IN A SNOWSTORM.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
BUT THAT'S JUST-- THAT'S ONE OF--
THAT'S THE REASON WHEN WE'RE AROUND
OTHER BROTHERS AND SISTERS, YOU WILL SEE US--
YOU GOT TO JUST-- - YOU KNOW, YOU GOT TO
DIAL IT UP A LITTLE BIT.
- YOU GOT TO DIAL IT UP.
OH, SEE, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, BROTHER.
- OH, YOU KNOW I KNOW WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT, RIGHT?
- YOU KNOW I KNOW YOU KNOW--
- YOU KNOW I KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW I KNOW WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT.
NO DOUBT, MAN. NO DOUBT, NO DOUBT, NO DOUBT
NO DOUBT, NO DOUBT, NO DOUBT, NO DOUBT, NO DOUBT, NO DOUBT.
- BECAUSE YOU NEVER WANT TO BE THE WHITEST SOUNDING
BLACK GUY IN A ROOM.
- YOU PUT FIVE WHITE-TALKING BLACK GUYS IN THE SAME ROOM,
YOU COME BACK IN A HOUR, IT'S GOING LIKE
LADYSMITH BLACK MAMBAZO UP IN THERE.
- STRAIGHT UP.
[imitating chanting]