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14 years old
freshman year basically consistent of
getting beaten up popping pimples
getting beaten up trying to fit in
begging not to get beat up and getting
beaten up more let's just say this was
not my year I could compare it to a 2018
Logan Paul anyways I had not hit puberty
yet I was the shortest one out of all my
friends my voice was still high and my
dick was still small fabulous but still
I remember freshmen Logan was so
intrigued by some of the senior girls
they were so hot how did they have so
many curves and womanly features it
didn't make any sense
well the hottest one her name was Sarah
Campbell let's call her she happened to
be in my study hall this girl was a dime
when she walked by us it was fireworks
baby the booty the boobies the beauty
sitting behind her for half the year was
one of the greatest experiences of my
life
one day after getting beaten up I
decided I was done looking at the back
of Sarah Campbell's head for 45 minutes
every day I was gonna march right up to
her and make her my wife while I still
had the chance
so I give my battle call Hannah and I
say okay look I literally don't know
what's yours I take your bread meanwhile
I'm sweating bullets I'm a rock hard for
some reason and I feel like my lungs are
about to explode oh thanks but are you
okay she must have noticed that I wasn't
breathing on the floor well my tactics
work and she must have thought me being
unconscious was cute because from that
day on sometimes Sarah would initiate
conversations with me and I even helped
her
homework once but I knew that our
relationship had to go to that next
level and to do that I needed her phone
number so I asked my freshman friends
for advice and lucky for me my one
friend Jamie was actually family friends
with Sara and he had her number so I
took it from him because I did not feel
like passing out again in front of Sara
not my brand
that night moment of truth phones out
fingers ready to texts ears so [ __ ]
good she marries me on the spot tomorrow
so I go hit Send and then I wait ding
hey what's up oh but of course I play it
cool damn I was killing it these types
of riveting conversations went on for
about two weeks straight of course the
school I'm bragging to my boys talking
about how smooth I am none of them
believe me so I show them the text and
she's sending like pictures of things
she even told me what part of town she
lived in and what her favorite movie was
all of us were losing our minds finally
one day Sara and I were texting and she
asked me for advice on what to wear to a
nice family dinner a dress all right
scary huh I don't know I like dresses
not me though not like for me like not
for personal reasons like I like dresses
on girls sometimes good you as you can
see I was still pretty nervous as [ __ ]
about this girl but then she hits me
with the text that would change my life
forever hey can I send you a picture of
me in the dress darn what the [ __ ] did I
just read that right can I send you a
picture of me in the dress oh my god I
knew at that moment I was in she wanted
these virgin lifts and it was undeniable
you don't just send someone a picture of
you in a dress unless you finished smash
and that's just facts so I respond all
cool is [ __ ] yeah why II completely
dropped the a in the H to show
confidence so I wait and again I'm rock
hard I do not know why but five minutes
go by 10 minutes go by 30 minutes go by
it felt like I had lived five lifetimes
and then
incoming picture message from Sarah
Campbell my hands are shaking
I opened the message and oh my gosh what
the [ __ ] was I looking at that first is
looking to chuck or maybe a Pokemon
potentially that Pokemon that looks like
a duck side but no after further
inspection I realize I'm looking at an
extreme close-up of a man's face and
then it hits me that man is Jamie my
friend Jamie the one who gave me Sarah's
number in the first place except now
it's very clear to me it wasn't Sarah's
number I had been flirting with my
friend Jamie over text for the past two
weeks and sure I'm embarrassed but what
about Jamie who keeps a joke up for this
long what the [ __ ] man you got some real
life identity problems next day at
school
Jamie the boys are all making fun of me
poor thing laughing all making the duck
faces he see Sarah and study hall but I
can't tell her what happened or show her
my face forever
my heart was shattered and their dignity
was gone so I did what any heartbroken
post catfish freshman would do nothing
except go get beat up again the end
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