Larry David has spent more than a decade railing against social slights both real and imagined
on Curb Your Enthusiasm.
The sort-of-biographical character proved that misanthropy can be very funny, albeit
pretty annoying at some points.
And while audiences were entertained by all those awkward encounters, a lot of Curb's
characters got pretty disrespected by his bonehead behavior on the show.
"Ya had to interfere didn't ya?"
Here are the worst things Larry David ever did on Curb Your Enthusiasm.
Yes, step-fathers count
Empathy doesn't come easily to the Curb version of Larry David.
That's one of the reasons why we love him.
And Larry's complete inability to give a crap can even push him a little too far, as in
the first season finale, "The Group."
In the episode, Larry runs into an old flame who asks Larry to accompany her to an incest
survivor's group … and of course, he makes it weird.
When Larry learns that Lisa was molested by her stepfather, his reaction is less than
supportive.
"Are you sure that you qualify for the stepfather, is that considered incest?"
"Oh Larry."
And while sitting in on the therapy session, he invents a story about an uncle who molested
him as a child.
"My name is Todd, and I'm an incest survivor."
By the end of the episode, the group's leader comes face to face with Larry's actual uncle
and promptly rips him apart in front of everyone.
Yikes.
The Tivo tipping point
Even Larry's long-suffering wife Cheryl had to call it quits eventually.
In Season 7, after finding herself on a wildly turbulent flight, Cheryl calls Larry to say
goodbye for what she thinks might be forever.
But Larry's too distracted by his TV repairman to listen to her.
"Call me back in ten minutes."
For Cheryl, that's it.
It's not just the phone call, of course …
"What else is it about?"
"What else is it about?
It's all of it."
"You can't do anything like a normal person."
But the TiVo incident is the straw that breaks the camel's back, and leads her to file for
divorce.
After that, most of the couple's mutual friends side with Cheryl, throwing Larry's social
life into disarray, and his favorite restaurant refuses to seat him.
But the biggest tragedy to Larry?
The TiVo still doesn't work.
Unwheelievable
Seinfeld's George Costanza is partially based on Larry David, so it can be a little hard
to tell them apart sometimes.
Just like when George faked a handicap to get a job, Larry starts dating a woman in
a wheelchair...and uses it to his advantage.
He starts out by saying — well, this:
"By the way, what's the proper term
Are you handicapped, are you disabled..
what's the word... Challenged?"
"Are you challenged?"
Then, in true Larry David fashion, he starts using others' sympathy for her as a social
shield for himself.
He then hits on another woman in a wheelchair but runs into Denise at a party.
So, instead of owning up to his own terrible decisions, he sticks Wendy in a closet before
Denise discovers his dirty secret.
"Who the hell is she?"
"Wendy Wheelchair?"
Needless to say, neither of those women ever came back into the picture.
Graverobber
You don't have to be among the living to suffer Larry David's shenanigans.
Marty Funkhouser, one of Larry's friends, knows this all too well.
Larry attends his father's open-casket funeral and discovers that Marty's dad will be buried
with his prized golf club, which Larry also loves.
Instead of respecting the dead guy's wishes, though, he switches the club out for a replacement.
Annnnd everyone finds out about it in the middle of service.
Then, when Funkhouser's mother passes away, Larry does it again.
Not only does he literally laugh in Marty's face when he expresses his grief …
"You can be a hundred and be an orphan."
"You can't be 100 and be an orphan."
"Yea you can."
"Ha, okay, little orphan Funkhouser."
… but he also proceeds to steal flowers from the roadside memorial that's built near
the site of her car accident.
Larry snags the bouquets to offer flowers to people for free.
Then he steals the dead lady's perfume to give to Cheryl.
And of course, Larry has no remorse.
Because Funkhouser owed him 50 dollars anyway.
For Christ's sake, Larry
Larry David incited a lot of religious ire after, uh, peeing on Jesus.
After he's prescribed a medication that makes him urinate out of control, he accidentally
gets a drop of his pee on Jesus and decides not to wipe it away.
That's when the painting's owners think the image is producing real tears, and chaos ensues.
"Larry you sprayed on Jesus?"
Why, yes.
Yes, he did.
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