Poppy: Hi I'm Poppy
Hermione: Hi I'm Hermione
Poppy: And today we're talking about positive relationships.
Poppy: So Hermione what do you think are the signs of a positive relationship?
Hermione: I think a positive relationship is something that's built on trust, definitely.
That's one of the most important things. But also being able to communicate with each other...
...being open and being able to tell each other about your feelings and emotions, and relying on...
...each other in that way.
P: Especially when you are kinda first getting to know someone...
...and in the early stages, it can be quite difficult to build that up.
H: Definitely. But you know as time goes on it becomes so much easier....
...once you get over that first little hurdle of opening up to each other.
P: But, yeah, just because you're really getting along and it's feeling very positive...
...it doesn't mean there aren't going to be times when it's a bit trickier.
You may have an argument or a falling out, or something...
...what kind of ways do you think you can deal with that?
H: Sometimes we all have disagreements...
...when you have a disagreement with someone it can help you realise what they do like, what they...
...don't like, and as long as you deal with it in a positive and constructive way it can...
...help strengthen a relationship in some ways. I don't think you can avoid having disagreements with
a partner or even in friendships - it happens to everyone.
P: Yeah it can be really difficult to have an argument with someone...
...but it's a lot more difficult if you keep those feelings in...
...and it kind of festers and it can become a lot more serious...
...in your head than it was before.
H: Definitely. I think that's the most important thing...
...being able to be open with each other. That can help avoid the argument, or...
...if you do have a disagreement, get it out in the open.
It gets worse if you leave it to fester.
P: It's important to watch that sometimes and see...
...'are we fighting more than we're having a good time?' 'Is this going to a place...
...where I don't really feel happy in the relationship anymore?' You can kinda...
...see where you're going and maybe make sure, if it is not feeling positive for you, that...
...you can notice that and get out if you need to.
H: Definitely. You don't want to feel trapped in any relationship or feel like you're not...
...being listened to - or you're just having a tough time.
P: There are a lot of portrayals of relationships, of different types of relationships, in the media: in songs...
...in films, in TV. They're often called Relationship Goals or something like that.
But sometimes a lot of these examples could lead you to have...
...a kind of warped view of what a positive relationship should be.
H: Yeah I think a lot of films and TV shows will normalise behaviours that just really shouldn't be in...
...part of a healthy relationship. So envious behaviour on behalf of your partner, or being controlling...
...or manipulative. Sometimes they're seen as, you know, one of those dynamic relationship things but it's...
...not really an accurate portrayal of what a relationship should be like. It shouldn't be something we aspire to...
...we should be aspiring to make it as healthy as possible for all parties involved.
And like on Instagram and social media everyone seems to portray their relationships as wonderful and happy...
...but it's, as people say, the 'highlight reel'...
...you never see the full relationship. When we talk about 'relationship goals' we...
...shouldn't really be thinking about what we see other people put on their social media...
...or what we see in movies. We should think about how we can create relationship goals
within the relationship we have and how we can make it better without focusing on
what everybody else is doing.
P: So obviously there's a legal age for sex.
If you do decide to have sex with your partner it's important that both people are comfortable...
...and you make sure that that communication's open.
H: Definitely. I think in recent years we've seen this big topic of consent coming up.
That's so good, and so positive. When I was younger there wasn't that much about consent...
...especially in school, we didn't hear much about consent it just seemed to be like 'yes' or 'no'...
...there are so many different ways that you might withdraw consent that people might not be aware of.
P: And you should never feel pressured.
H: Definitely.
P: Just because you're in a relationship it doesn't...
...mean that you have to have sex with this person. You have to know kinda to wait until you're ready.
H: Exactly - and they should respect that too.
P: When you do start a relationship you can kinda be caught up in the whirlwind and you...
...want to see that person all the time but it's important to kind of have a balance...
...between your relationship and your friends or family.
H: I don't think you should ever let a relationship get in the way of those really important things.
I definitely think that involving yourself with your friends, family, hobbies, interests...
...as well as your relationship is so important.
P: Yeah. Especially if something does start to become a little bit negative...
...it's so good to have those people you can talk to that are there with you through it.
H: Exactly. Being able to have a support system...
...and just people who are there that you know you can rely on if something were to go downhill.
P: If you are worried that your relationship isn't as healthy or positive as it could be then Childline is always here for you.
P: Thanks so much for coming in today.
H: Thank you so much for having me.
P: We'll see you next time
Both: Bye!