Hello, it's Mark here, and today, we are discussing, and I still cannot believe I'm saying this,
The Bachelor I'm going into why I'm not a fan of the show and the reasons that I'm not
a fan might actually really surprise you. So stick around and I'll see you in just a second.
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Okay, so I get a lot of questions about The Bachelor. What are your thoughts on the show?
Would you ever go on it? What's your perspective on The Bachelor, Mark? Now, I'm not a fan
of the bachelor. You if you hadn't already realized that before this video, you'll know
it by now. But the reason I'm not a fan of the show often surprises people. People usually
say, Oh, it must be because it turns love into a competition. That must be what you
hate about The Bachelor. And look, that's actually not what I hate about The Bachelor.
I mean if you and I are being honest, we all want to work to find that person who is right
for us. I mean, if a guy walked up to you and handed himself on a silver relationship
platter, you'd be bored out of your brain, right? We want to work for someone and we
want to have that little, that little challenge of winning over that person who's right for
us. So even though The Bachelor puts this competition in a ridiculously obvious context,
that's not what I hate about it.
Now, the second thing that people say is, Oh, you must hate the show because it involves
multiple dating, right? And that's really unethical. Well, not so much. Actually multiple
dating gets an unethical rap because most men frankly do it unethically. But the act
itself isn't necessarily bad. In fact, a lot of dating coaches, myself included, actually
advise multiple dating in the early stages of getting to know someone because it gives
you more clarity on the traits you do and don't want. And especially if you have a pattern
of attracting the wrong types of guys, it's actually really powerful. The other thing
people say is they go, Oh, I know why you hate The Bachelor, Mark. It's because it doesn't
produce true love. And look, there's actually some truth to that. If you go online and look
at the US seasons, the 20 U S seasons, you'll find that the success rate of the couples
on there isn't particularly impressive, but even that's not the reason I hate The Bachelor.
The reason I hate the bachelor is it propagates this idea that a man who has a list of traits,
job money, good looks, whatever it is, women around him is a man worth-chasing. That a
man who has all these things is that the guy that you get your laser focus on and go solely
after rather than a man worth chasing is a man who puts effort into you. Now, if I was
running The Bachelor, it would be all the women with 10 other men for each of them because
that way the bachelor would have to do some work.
All these things make a man attractive, but they do not make a man boyfriend material.
They do not make him worthy of a relationship. They just make him worthy of a bit of interest
and to see, because a man who has these things who doesn't invest in you is like building
a cake without using any sugar and you might end up with this beautiful pretty thing that
looks good to everybody else, but it will be incredibly dissatisfying if you don't have
the sugar. It's exactly the same if you end up in relationships with the men or a man
who have all these traits but who don't have the one thing that really matters. If you
can just watch the show and maybe you can just go, Oh look, I would never actually chase
a guy I like that. I wouldn't ever chase a guy who didn't invest in me.
I just watched The Bachelor cause it's train crash TV, and if that's you, respect I, I
have total respect for you, but I think especially young women are going to be watching this
show and not getting that message. Young women are going to be watching the show and taking
the message back to their own lives and seeing men like this in their own lives and then
going hell full ahead after that guy. No matter how many other women are around him, no matter
how little effort he's putting in, they're just going to focus on that guy. And the quality
of your dating and the patterns in your dating become the quality and patterns of your relationship.
So if you start out by investing all the focus in a guy and chasing hard because he has this
list of traits just like the women on The Bachelor do, you will end up in a one-sided
relationship because you're communicating that you're not valuing what you have to offer
and the guy doesn't have to invest anything back to win you and what you can provide to
him in a relationship.
This is why I hate The Bachelor, because this message that all a man needs to make him worthy
of husband or boyfriend or whatever material is the right job, the right looks, the right
money, whatever the list of traits is. These are all nice things, but in the end, none
of them matter because the one thing that really matters is the effort that that guy
puts into you. That's what's going to determine your fulfillment. That's what's going to determine
your happiness. That's what's ultimately going to make a guy boyfriend potential.
Well, I hope you enjoyed the video. I hope you got a lot out of it. I hope you don't
hate me for explaining why I hate the bachelor. Maybe you even agree with me and it gave you
a different perspective on it. Let me know in the comments below your thoughts on my
opinion on the topic as well as your own. This has been, Mark, make sure you subscribe.
Hit the subscribe button and I'll chat to you very soon.