Hey, so you wanna know what
than everybody else?
Stay tuned and I'm gonna tell you what they are.
Hey, so I'm Rebecca Zung,
and I am an attorney
and I teach people how to negotiate with narcissists.
That's what I do all day long.
It's such a weird thing to say that I do for a living,
but it is what I do for a living.
And I spend all my time doing this
and my entire team spends all their time helping you,
because we want you to have the best resources in the world
on negotiating with narcissists.
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All right, let's talk about the
than they actually are.
And by the way,
I did a whole video on whether narcissists
are actually smarter than other people,
or if they're just like super skilled.
And you might wanna check that out as well.
So just let's talk about narcissists here for a second.
They want to build up situations
so that they look like they have a higher IQ
than everybody else,
because they want to appear better than everyone else,
because that's part of being a narcissist.
They want to, you know, degrade and devalue people
so that they can look better.
And they get a form of narcissistic supply
by looking smarter.
So remember that supply is anything that feeds their ego
and it can be adulation, respect, compliments,
things like that,
but it can also be, you know, doing things
that aren't so nice to people to try to,
you know, bolster themselves
and remember that they're not attaching themselves to you
because you have so little value,
they attach themselves to you
because you have so much value.
And by taking somebody that they think has so much value
and then like degrading them,
it's actually makes them feel better, right?
So they are always looking for ways
to look smarter than they actually are.
And so let's go through them.
So number one is
You know, if you call them a narcissist
and that's what you become, you know,
whatever is being put onto them,
like, because they didn't take responsibility
for something that they should have,
I mean, I used to have a paralegal who was a narcissist
and every time she screwed up,
it was somebody else's fault or something else's fault.
Mistakes are always somebody else's responsibility.
So they project and deflect.
That's one of the things that they love to do.
So that's number one.
That's, you know, because obviously if they project
and deflect, then, you know, they don't look so bad, right?
So that's number one.
Number two is
What better way to feel taller than step on somebody else?
At least according to a narcissist.
So, you know, somehow in their mind,
if they're using, you know, you as a footstool,
then they seem to feel like they look better
and they look smarter,
because they're degrading you, devaluing you,
diminishing you or others, it could be others.
It doesn't necessarily have to be you.
But that's another way
that they try to make themselves look smarter.
Number three is
or inflate their own importance.
This is where they're bragging, they're boasting,
they are maybe exaggerating things,
they're saying things that are just, you know,
maybe not even necessarily an exaggeration.
But, you know, if they won by a nose,
a contest and they say they won by a landslide.
If they lost and the other person, you know,
just shook their hand,
they will say the other person was a sore loser,
or that they ran off with their tail between their legs,
things like that.
So they'll inflate their importance,
so they'll exaggerate their
and anything that they accomplished,
they'll make it look like
it was way better than it actually was.
And they'll tell everybody about it.
This is more of your garden variety overt narcissist,
not so much the covert.
Covert narcissists, don't do it in exactly that way.
And just remember the whole point of this
is to try to make themselves appear smarter,
but also make other people look bad a lot of times.
Number four is
and especially judging other people to third parties,
like they're flying monkeys.
And remember their flying monkeys are those people
that they're trying to like line up on their sides
so that they look so great,
and the other people look terrible.
They want, you know, they want...
It's sort of a bullying mentality,
like, you know, we're all standing together here, you know,
and they'll lie to the third parties as well,
but judging other people.
And a lot of times these people
are constantly judging people,
like they'll just be watching TV and going,
oh, that person's so fat,
this person's ugly,
oh, the way this person speaks is so stupid, you know,
they're constantly judging, right?
And it's just like a way of being for them.
Number five is
You know, that they're pathological liars, right?
They lie about themselves.
They lie about their accomplishments.
They lie about other people.
They lie about things
that they don't even need to lie about.
But that's what they do.
They lie to make themselves look smarter.
And if you wanna know more about that,
you can definitely check out my video
on what happens when you catch a narcissist in lie.
But they lie about pretty much everything,
I mean, it's kind of crazy.
But they can definitely lie
to make themselves look smarter as well.
The next thing is
They'll manipulate situations,
they'll manipulate correspondence,
they manipulate conversations.
I've seen them manipulate bank statements.
I've seen them manipulate discovery.
I've seen them manipulate text messages
where certain text messages end up coming out.
They, you know, will break into people's emails sometimes
and manipulate things.
They want other people to look bad
and them to look good that, I mean,
and they wanna kind of beat you to the punch,
especially if they think that you are against them
in some way,
and if you're negotiating against them,
then they're gonna think that you're against them.
And remember they live in this scarcity mentality.
So like, if you have something
and then they can't have it,
and then their world kind of caves in.
So they'll do whatever they need to,
and they're, you know, they fight dirty.
Narcissists fight dirty.
So there's really no bar, it's too low for them.
Unless they know they're afraid
that they're gonna get caught
or there'll be bad consequences
where they're gonna look bad.
But other than that,
there's really no bar under which they won't go.
So number seven is they
They demand special treatment.
They demand certain behavior from people.
They demand the best table in the restaurant.
They demand the nicest office.
They demand coffee be brought to them or whatever it is.
They want people to do things for them.
And that in their world makes it look like they're smarter
or better than anyone else.
And if you've seen any of these things so far,
Okay, number eight.
Number eight is that they
They distort what's actually happening, magical thinking,
that's part of being narcissist.
Sometimes I wonder if they even believe their own lies.
I don't know.
I think it could possibly be
or they've tell themselves so much
that they've just completely, you know, believed it,
you know, it's like the old George Costanza thing
in Seinfeld, it's not a lie if you believe it.
But they distort reality.
And sometimes it works to their favor.
I mean, you know, I've heard like Steve Jobs
used to like force people to do things, you know,
and accomplish things
that nobody ever thought could possibly be done.
And so sometimes, you know, I actually did a whole video
on being a narcissist is a good thing.
I think it can work to a certain extent,
but then can definitely be their own doing as well.
And number nine,
They absolutely say things.
My father used to say,
whatever you say say it with authority
and people will believe you, right?
And I've heard Tony Robbins say,
you know, who wins an argument?
The one who says things with the most certainty.
And they're very good at that.
And they use motions like this hand gestures
that make them look like they really know
what they're talking about.
And I've seen this,
I've seen this with narcissistic opposing counsel.
They'll bring up arguments
and say things that are completely preposterous,
but they say it with complete certainty,
in such a way that the judge actually goes along with them.
So they say things with certainty
and that makes them appear smarter than they actually are.
And number 10 is
They'll attack you,
they'll attack coworkers,
they'll attack people that work for them,
they will attack people for no reason whatsoever,
just to make themselves look smarter,
they will attack people for having a different view,
they'll try to get people to sort of spar with them.
You know, I knew somebody that like,
as soon as they got somebody like riled up,
that they were like, oh, we're all right, good,
now we're having a conversation,
like to that person that was like communicating
when you're upsetting somebody,
because, you know, that person would get supply from them.
And sometimes they attack people just for being weak,
just because they can,
cause like they know if they attack this person,
that they're not gonna do anything about it.
And that's gonna, you know, to them,
it makes them appear smarter.
So those are the 10 things that narcissist do
to appear smarter than they actually are.
They wanna feed their ego.
They'll do whatever they need to to feed their ego.
They are supply whores.
And, you know, if they have to do these kinds of things
and step on people to make themselves look smarter,
then, well by all means why not?
So if you are getting ready to negotiate with a narcissist
make sure to grab
My Free Crush My Negotiation Prep Worksheet.
And that's at
And hey, if you like this video, give it a like,
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It's at Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung.
And I am so glad that you stopped by
and that you are here,
because you are so ready.
The reason why you found yourself here with my channel
and with me is because you ar ready.
You're ready to start fighting back.
You're ready to start becoming unstoppable
and I'm here to help you.
So thanks so much for stopping by.
Remember, today's a great day to start negotiating
your best life.
And I will see you in the next video.