PLEASE WELCOME MARINA FRANKLIN!
( APPLAUSE ) ♪ ♪ ♪
>> HI!
OH, HEY, EVERYBODY!
IT'S REALLY GOOD TO BE HERE.
YEAH?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YEAH, THANKS.
YEAH, YOU KNOW.
I'M SINGLE, SO IT'S GOOD TO BE OUT AND LOOKING FOR SOMEBODY.
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
YEAH, I AM SINGLE.
AND I'M VERY-- VERY ANGRY ABOUT THAT ONE.
TRUST ME BECAUSE I JUST-- I MADE SOME MISTAKES, YOU KNOW.
LIKE I USED TO DATE YOUNG.
I DON'T MEAN TO DATE YOUNG.
IT'S JUST I AGED WELL.
( LAUGHTER ) AND THEY COME AT ME.
SERIOUSLY.
I'LL JUST BE HANGING OUT AT THE GAME STOP, AND THEY JUST COME
INTO MY LIFE.
( LAUGHTER ) THAT'S WHERE I HANG OUT.
I'M LIKE, "YOU WANT THIS?
COME AND GET IT."
( LAUGHTER ) HE WAS TOO YOUNG FOR ME, THOUGH.
IT WAS EXHAUSTING.
BEING A COUGAR, BY THE WAY, IS NOT ALL IT'S CRACKED UP TO BE,
OKAY.
THIS GUY OF ALWAYS WEAK.
AWAKE, JUST LOOKING AT ME LIKE, "WHAT NEXT?"
I'M LIKE, "NOTHING.
TAKE A NAP."
HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND THE BEAUTY OF A NAP.
HE HAD A REALLY NICE APARTMENT, THOUGH.
THAT'S IMPORTANT.
IN NEW YORK CITY, IF YOU GET A GUY WITH A NICE APARTMENT, YOU
GOT TO HOLD ON TO THAT.
OKAY.
I'M A FEMINIST.
I AM.
BUT I TAP OUT.
( LAUGHTER ) LIKE, I BELIEVE IN EQUAL PAY,
BUT I ALSO BELIEVE IN HIS PAY.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
ALL RIGHT.
YEAH!
LET'S FIGHT FOR BOTH!
HIS PAY, MY PAY, BUT MORE HIS PAY.
HIS APARTMENT WAS REALLY NICE, BUT I REMEMBER ONE TIME WE GOT
IN A FIGHT THERE BECAUSE OF HIS HORMONES, YOU KNOW.
HE WAS ALWAYS ANGRY ABOUT SOMETHING.
AND HE LOOKED AT ME LIKE, "I'M GOING TO SLEEP IN THE OTHER
ROOM."
I WAS LIKE, "YOU HAVE ANOTHER ROOM?
THAT IS HOT.
THIS IS GOING TO WORK OUT."
BECAUSE MY APARTMENT IS VERY SMALL.
IT'S A TRUE NEW YORK APARTMENT.
IF I GET ANGRY IN MY APARTMENT, I ANGLE MYSELF LIKE THIS.
IT'S NOT RIGHT.
HE WAS WHITE, BY THE WAY.
THAT'S SOMETHING WE'RE DOING.
( LAUGHTER ) I DATE THE BROTHERS, TOO, YOU
KNOW.
THE ECONOMY'S GETTING BETTER SO I'M GOING TO GO BACK.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
I'M GOING BACK!
I ACTUALLY WENT ON A DATE WITH A BROTHER, BLACK GUY, JUST IN
CASE.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT I WAS OFF.
IT HAD BEEN A LONG TIME, AND I SHOULD HAVE SEGUED BACK, YOU
KNOW.
MAYBE DATED A BROTHER ON A SKATEBOARD, YOU KNOW.
MAYBE A BROTHER THAT LISTENS TO NPR, SOMETHING LIGHT.
BECAUSE THIS BROTHER WAS ROUGH.
AND ON THE DATE, I FELT LIKE A WHITE GIRL DATING A BLACK GUY.
LIKE, I CALLED HIM TO COME PICK ME UP ON A DATE.
HE GOT UPSET.
HE'S LIKE, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
ENH?
I'M GONNA COME PICK YOU UP?
YOU TELL ME WHERE YOU LIVE.
YOU GOT TO BE SPECIFIC, ENH.
I GOT A NICE CAR.
POLICE COULD PULL ME OVER.
OR YOU COULD WALK."
( LAUGHTER ) IVE LIKE, "OH, MY GOD, ARE YOU
SERIOUS?" WALK?
LIKE, WHY WOULD I DO THAT?" "LIKE, JUST AS AN F.Y.I., NOT A
WALKER.
AND, LIKE, WHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY?
LIKE, WHERE DOES THAT COME FROM?
WHERE DOES IT COME FROM?" AND POLICE ARE HERE TO PROTECT
YOU.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
OH, OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
YEAH, OKAY.
SOME OF YOU ARE LAUGHING, AND SOME OF OF YOU ARE LIKE, "YES,
THE POLICE ARE HERE TO PROTECT YOU.
WHERE WAS THE JOKE IN THAT?
I DIDN'T HEAR IT.
I DIDN'T HEAR THAT JOKE."
I HAD A GIRL GET MAD AT ME ABOUT THAT JOKE BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT I
WAS MOCKING THE VOICE TOO MUCH.
SHE WAS LIKE, "WE DON'T TALK LIKE THAT."
"YES, YOU DO."
IT'S ACTUALLY MY VOICE.
I GREW UP IN THE SUBURBS, WHITE NEIGHBORHOOD.
I'M BILINGUAL, I CAN DO BOTH.
YOU GUYS ARE GREAT!
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
>> Stephen: THANK YOU SO MUCH.