- The version of you
that is in the ideal relationship,
that version of you,
it is natural for you to be in it.
It is not on a pedestal.
That version of you is cool, calm and collected.
And that version of you has let go of things
that have been tethering you
to the current reality that you may be in.
So whether this is you in a relationship
and you wanna go deeper,
or whether this is you
that's not a relationship
and you want to get into relationship,
the key to really being in alignment
is letting go,
not wiring in.
The scale of consciousness that I've shared
in many videos,
it starts at shame,
fear, guilt, anger.
Eventually it goes up to neutrality.
Then reasoning,
love, joy, peace,
and enlightenment.
The key to raising your vibe
is that of letting go.
It's not of trying to attain a new level.
If you just let go,
it naturally raises.
Now, in the same way,
in order to attract love,
there are things you must let go of
in order to raise your frequency
to either become more magnetic,
or to go deeper in the relationship you're currently in.
And this was pivotal for me
to attract and love.
This was pivotal to me
to really feeling worthy,
whole and complete.
And I'm gonna share with you exactly
what the five things you must let go of are
to then let in love.
You must let these go to let in.
That's the magic sauce.
Let's get into this video right now.
(gentle music)
Welcome back to another video.
My name is Aaron,
and I help people expand their consciousness.
Now, in this video,
I'm gonna be sharing with you
those five things you must let go of
in order to attract love.
And remember,
you and this reality that maybe isn't in a relationship,
and then you in this reality
that is in a relationship,
they're different vibrational versions of you.
One may be attached to old patterns,
may be attached to childhood dynamic patterns,
may be attracted to people
that are similar energy dynamics
of the kind of childhood energy dynamics
that were going on.
This version of you is more free.
It is cool, calm and collected.
It is not on a big pedestal
for you to be in a relationship.
These are different vibrations.
And that's one of the first things
I wanna share with you
is when I look,
I did this for YouTube.
Many of you may know this story
if you watch my videos.
I was working a nine to five job
that I fricking hated.
And I recognized the version of me
that was doing what I love,
and I realized I was making videos daily.
I imagined that version of me and I became it.
I made the choice that this was comfortable.
I had to let go of seeing myself
as a nine to five job goer.
I had to let go of the mentality that's like,
"I go to work and trade my time for money."
I had to let go of the self image.
I had to let go of many things.
I had to get a give up my pride a little bit
because I moved back into my dad's house
so that I could make it work.
And I let those things go
and then I became this version of me.
Well, in the same way,
the version you that's tied
to your current reality,
maybe you're tied to an ex relationship
and you're always thinking about it.
Maybe you're tied to limiting beliefs
and you think that they're actually serving you,
and we'll talk about that,
but they're not.
Maybe you're tied to codependent patterns.
Whatever you're attached to,
you must let go of
to then just be this version of you.
Now, not that long ago,
I was over here
on this side of the screen.
Could have been over here.
But I was over here
because I had attachments.
I had attachment to past relationships.
I had attachment to codependent patterns
and people pleasing,
really caring what people thought.
I had attachment to a level of shame
of feeling that I was broken
and believing that I had to fix people
in order to get them to,
like if I could fix them,
then maybe they would love me
the way that I feel like I wanna be loved.
And when I became aware of these attachments,
I realized that there's a payoff to many attachments.
The payoff is that either you stay safe
and where you are,
or the payoff is that
you get some emotional charge from it.
Payoffs are kind of insidious.
Keeping you safe is a payoff
that keeps you where you are,
but it also keeps you in pain.
So becoming aware of these is key.
Now, the first thing that I had to let go of
to attract love
and allow it to let in
was I had to let go of my past relationship.
This was something that was very challenging to do
because I told myself a story about it
for a very long time.
I said that if this is the only type of,
I had all these stories about it
that kept me tied to it.
I didn't think I'd meet somebody as deep.
I didn't think I would meet somebody
that I really had a spiritual connection with.
I was afraid that if I let it go,
I'd be letting go of that part of myself.
Really what attachment is by the way,
is it's identity.
It's identifying with somebody
thinking that they are a part of you.
Think about it,
needy and codependent patterns,
it's like we literally are taking out our heart
and we're putting it into other people.
And then we're trying to control them
to give us what we need
without realizing that the heart is within us.
We're externalizing our own happiness.
We need something from the external.
We need validation normally.
Normally, neediness and codependency, by the way,
it's a validation drug.
It's like I want someone's validation and approval
because we didn't get it from our parents growing up.
And when we become aware of that,
it changes everything.
So for me, I literally,
for a year and a half or two years
had this kind of energy dynamic
to where I didn't really let go.
And because I didn't let go,
I didn't allow anything new in.
And I felt really stuck.
I didn't understand.
I was trying to control.
I felt I had a pattern
where I was choosing people
that weren't choosing me.
And it was because it felt familiar from childhood.
I felt like having emotionally unavailable people
in my life,
it felt comfortable and familiar
to always be proving myself.
And that felt familiar
so I kept attracting that.
For many people,
one of the hardest things you'll ever do
is let somebody go.
But it's the one thing you must do
to then get to this next level of really self-love.
I realized that I was abandoning myself
to mold my reality to accommodate someone else's.
And really it's an abandonment wound.
That's why I was so attached.
Once I realized this
and I realized that I abandoned
myself when I was a kid
to then make my mom or my dad happy,
that was a game changer.
And so why am I doing this?
I need to stop abandoning myself.
I need to start being myself.
I need to start being in my own frame.
So that's the first one
is letting go of your ex.
It's like a dog with a bone in his mouth
and it wants another bone,
but it won't let go of this one.
You can't fit both in your mouth.
You could, but it gets very messy,
and it gets really complicated.
So that's the first thing you must,
it's the biggest thing.
I have videos on attracting love.
And I talk about how the one thing,
if you wanna attract a specific person,
you got to let that person go.
Because then you let go of the energetic threads
that's keeping resistance there.
And then they have a higher chance
of actually coming back to you.
But you're not doing it to get them back.
You're letting them go
because you don't need that.
You just need to be in your own frame,
in your own energy.
Now, the second thing that I had to let go of
in order to attract love,
and you must let go of to allow in
is you must let go of your limiting beliefs about love.
I had limiting beliefs that said
women are trying to control me,
that said women, I need to fix them.
So I attracted women that had a lot going on
that I could try to fix.
I need the validation of women.
These are all things,
when I was a kid,
because I had the abusive step-mom
from seven to 15 years old,
I was tuning myself
in order to survive to the woman.
So what happened is
even after my dad divorced her,
I'd find that in a pattern,
it would be common for me
to try to tune to fix,
instead of realizing,
just be firm in my own masculine gravity
and my own masculine stillness,
and be in my own frame.
And that allows the feminine to feel safe.
That is an absolute key.
Now, what are your beliefs about men?
What are your beliefs about women?
What are your beliefs about
how a man treats a woman?
Or the masculine and the feminine.
You can use whatever sexual orientation you have.
You can use masculine and feminine principles in anything
because that's polarity.
So think about that
because up until I changed my belief about this,
it didn't change.
I attracted the same pattern over and over again.
So if you're feeling frustrated with this,
then it's because you have these autopilot beliefs
that you're unaware of
that you're attached to.
You're attached to them
because maybe it makes you safe.
And it's a crazy thing once again,
but it's like that's the payoff you get
is you feel familiar.
So that's why sometimes people attract
emotionally unavailable people
is because that feels familiar
to have someone that's not showing up
and not present.
But you must become available yourself.
And right now also,
now is the last chance to join
that of the 21 day Magnetic Love challenge,
where I'm going live for 21 days.
And I bring in on different experts.
We have an expert that's on attachment styles.
We have an expert on masculine and feminine energy.
We have relationship experts.
We have somebody that's an expert on
the energy of masculine and feminine and sexuality.
And for 21 days from 1st July to 21st July,
we're gonna be going through a process
for letting go of the old,
to the new wire in the new.
to let go of the old attachment patterns,
let go of the old limiting beliefs,
let go of the old self image,
let go of the old shame or the emotions,
and then wiring in a brand new version of us
that is more magnetic than ever
so that you can attract love easily
or deepen your relationships.
So if you wanna go through that
from the 1st to the 21st,
if you join right now as well,
what will happen is you can go at your own pace.
You can go back and watch the videos later.
But we're gonna be doing lives.
It's the first time I've ever done something like this.
It's kind of like a 21 day live event.
But what makes this different than YouTube
is it's not just videos.
It's accountability.
You do something at the end of these videos,
you post it in the HighViber group,
the HighVibe tribe,
And it helps you wire it in.
And it's a very powerful safe container,
extremely magical.
So if you wanna do that,
write me out.
Go to aarondoughty.com/love.
That is aarondoughty.com/love
or click the link in the top description box,
or in the comments,
you'll see it there.
But today's the last day to join.
So check that out.
Other than that,
the third thing that I wanna share,
and it has to do with something that
I didn't realize I had up until recently
is almost everybody I think has a belief
that we are broken.
Like, "We're broken.
"There's something wrong."
This is rooted in shame normally.
I realized that
from having emotionally unavailable parents
when I was a kid,
I thought that it was because of me.
I had parents that divorced.
I thought they divorced because of me.
As kids we internalize these things.
And then what happens is there's shame.
Shame is identity-based.
Shame says there's something wrong with me.
And what happens is guilt is action-based.
So it's like, "I'm a good person that did something bad."
Shame is, "I have something broken with me."
And because of that,
I would always attract people
that were also emotionally available
because I didn't think I deserved somebody
that would show up that way.
So what I had to do
is I had to go in
and realize that my mom's stuff,
my dad's stuff
was their stuff, not mine.
It's not their fault.
They were treated the same way from their parents
so it's trickle down.
But I had to realize their divorce
had nothing to do with me.
It's their stuff, not mine.
Even an ex that you're breaking up with
or that's happened,
realize them breaking up with you
or you breaking up with them,
it's not because neither of you were good enough.
And even if they find somebody else,
it doesn't mean you're not good enough.
It means that it's just their stuff.
Maybe they didn't wanna go into the work.
Maybe they did.
Maybe you didn't wanna go into the work,
whatever it is,
just recognize it just is what it is.
You don't have to internalize it as shame.
There's nothing wrong with you.
I realized that by thinking
I needed to fix an ex,
I'm implying they're broken.
They're not broken.
There's nothing wrong with them.
So that's been absolutely key and pivotal.
Now, the fourth thing you must let go of
is the attachment pattern you may have.
There's anxious attachment,
avoidant attachment,
and secure attachment.
And what you wanna do
is you want to heal the attachment
if you're avoidant or anxious
and move into secure.
And the way you do that
is you have to either trust,
which is for the avoidant,
which means you avoid
and you kind of like,
attachment styles, you push away
or you want a lot of space.
Or in anxious,
you lean in and you try to control
and it's a needy energy.
One is you're looking for validation and approval.
One is you don't trust.
So the key to both of these
is that healing of that wound.
Healing these wounds is the key
to then being secure in love.
Healing the attachment pattern,
realizing that in the past
you needed and you wanted
and you craved validation
or you craved space
or whatever it is,
and realize you can give that to yourself.
I had to give myself my own validation
in order for someone to then validate me.
I had to become emotionally available to myself
to then attract someone who'd be emotionally available.
It's incredible how this works,
but it is so powerful.
So those first four alone
will really help in this process.
However, the fifth thing
that you wanna realize
is that when it comes to attracting love,
you're going to be attracted to people
that replay the same childhood patterns
when you were a kid.
And a lot of times they say
that if you meet someone
and it's this crazy ungrounded love
where you just feel like you pulled out of yourself,
that means that normally
there's some type of trauma bond.
So you have to almost be open
and letting go of a checklist.
Many of us have a checklist.
You let go of that checklist
and you allow yourself
to then sink in and to get to know people.
I realized that I was blocking out love
because I was comparing everybody else
to past relationships.
Once I stopped doing that
and I started being open,
I had to open before love would open to me.
That's huge.
That was key.
I had to open up my heart.
I had to stop judging.
I had to be open.
And once I did that, everything changed.
I started seeing myself as worthy
and this all changed.
So remember, you must let go to let in.
If you wanna go through 21 days
of letting go of the old
to then let in love,
we're gonna be doing that.
You go to aarondoughty.com/love.
I'm super excited.
This is one of the last days to join,
that's when I want this video to go out,
just so you know.
Other than that,
I love you guys.
And as always,
peace, much love and namaste.