I bought you something since you're always
bringing me stuff.
I bought you something.
Yeah.
And that's a logo.
That's the show you should be watching right
before she come one.
Yeah.
We're partners.
Your show then my show.
You're going to love this.
I hope so.
Yeah.
You will.
Is it money?
Yeah.
I wouldn't even tell your producers.
Oh.
Look at leather pants.
No, no.
Are they pleather?
No.
They're vegan leather.
So pleather.
Yes.
They're vegan leather.
Yeah.
Look at that.
Hey.
You can put them on and get them ate off.
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
That's not what that means.
You don't understand what vegan leather means.
It doesn't mean you can eat it.
It just means it's not made from a cow.
That's why you can eat it.
No.
Because you're a vegan.
No.
It doesn't mean you can eat the pants.
It just means that they're not made from--
thank you.
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
You can't eat them.
Yeah.
That's what that means.
It doesn't mean that.
It's what it means.
Don't worry about that.
You don't worry about it.
Try it.
I'm not going to eat it.
It'd be delicious.
You eat it.
I'm not a vegan.
It doesn't matter.
If they were leather pants, I'd tear 'em up.
You'd eat them?
Yeah.
I'm going to give them to Portia.
I bet she would love these.
Now you see what I'm getting at.
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
No.
This is five years I've been trying to get this moment.
She gets me all the time.
I just got her.
No.
And you fell right into it.
You said, I'm going to give them to Portia.
Now we're talking.
Bam.
Well, I'm so happy to see you.
Thank you for my gift and congratulations on the show.
You got picked up for another season.
You got an Emmy nomination.
All going good.
Going pretty good, man.
Going pretty good.
Yeah.
You're having fun.
Life is good.
Yeah.
Grandkids now.
Yeah.
You have how many now?
We've got four now and one on the way.
Wow.
So we got two boys, two girls.
It's a tie breaker coming.
And you don't know what it is yet?
No.
Not yet.
All right.
Four grandkids.
Yeah.
Four grandkids.
My wife Marjorie is all in.
She's all in.
This Nana Papa thing is big for her.
She's Nana.
Right.
I figured that.
Cool name.
Yeah.
It'd be weird for her to be Papa and you be Nana.
Yeah.
I don't want to be Papa, though.
What do you want to be?
I want to be called Big Pimpin'.
Is it too late?
How old are they?
Well, I can't.
She told me my granddaughters can't call me Big Pimpin'.
No?
No.
But she's all-- let me tell you crazy my wife is.
Oh, these two right here--
she's into everything.
Halloween at our house-- you know, I just
thought Halloween was just candy.
It's just getting kids candy.
That's all we had.
Just candy.
She throws a thing in the backyard, a carnival.
We have cotton candy machines, making the apples machines,
we got a petting zoo, and a teepee.
A 16 foot high teepee.
Wow.
And so, you know, the kids are loving it.
So the next day is Wednesday because Halloween
was on a Tuesday, so the next day is Wednesday.
So I'm off on Wednesdays.
I'm out at the pool smoking a cigar.
I'm having a good time.
All of a sudden, the four grandkids
are on the other side of the house just screaming.
[SCREAMING]
They're taking the teepee.
The man had come over to remove the teepee and the petting zoo.
These kids' mouths were so wide like Charlie Brown.
You can see their little dang-a-long in the back
of their--
[SCREAMING]
And so I go over there and I'm panicking 'cause Papa
they're taking the teepee.
So I said, hold, hold.
I said, sir, sir.
Stop taking the teepee down in front of the kids.
Look at these kids.
Sir, I have to remove the teepee.
It's my job.
I don't give a damn what your job is.
You see these kids tripping.
Take the teepee down.
Just go do something else and leave a teepee alone.
So he said, OK sir.
So I got him calmed down.
I go back to my cigar in the pool.
Hour and a half later, they're taking the teepee.
So I panic.
I throw the cigar in the pool, which is not a good idea
'cause it don't look like a cigar when it's in the pool.
It's in there doing some other stuff.
And I go around there and they just,
they're taking the teepee.
I said, sir, sir, you got to stop taking this teepee down
in front of these kids.
Sir, I'm done.
I have to go.
I said, OK.
Man, well how much is the teepee?
The due said the TP is $8,500.
I said what kind of damn teepee--
so Papa, they're taking the teepee.
Shut up for a minute and let me talk.
They're taking the teepee.
So I bought the teepee.
[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]
The teepee is in our yard.
I had them move it over.
Oh, you got a picture of it.
It's 16 feet high, folks.
So it's in the backyard.
So recently, little Rose comes over.
She can talk pretty good and like she's a little--
she's a girl, so she's a little--
she tells everything.
And I was trying to get her not to and she'd comes back in.
Nana, our teepee smells like Papa's cigars.
[INAUDIBLE] I can't believe she's telling this.
And so my wife goes, Steve, why does the teepee smell
like cigars?
I say, 'cause it's $8,500 and when they're not here,
it's not a teepee, it's a cigar lounge.
I see.
Yeah.
That's fair.
It's a nice place.
It's fair.
Smoke goes straight up.
It's really nice.
I bet it's nice in there.
Yeah.
It's nice.
I bet it's real nice and smoky in there
when you're by yourself.
It's so nice.