thoughts on how to deal with toxic / negative people oh those people yeah so
first of all it's important to recognize that those people exist everywhere and
everybody's got to deal with me if you run into one of these people don't get
all surprised as if they're a lone ranger out there being negative
no there's negative Rangers all over the place so we got to you gotta know how to
deal with them and it's so so when you're dealing with someone like that
first of all confronting them of course as you can probably predict is not
usually the best option because all you're doing is you're your attack in
their heavily-defended position which which is not good so one of the
techniques that I use when dealing with these kind of people is I absorb I
absorb their critiques I absorb their toxicity I absorb their negativity now
obviously this takes a little bit of strength right you can't be taking stuff
personally you have to in order to learn how to absorb think you know say okay
I'm just gonna doing this for the team right but it looks like for instance
when they say oh this is horrible I don't say no oh it's not horrible I
don't just go right back at them I say yeah you know what we definitely got
some room for improvement right it's why I kind of just deflect it kind of miss
absorb it right a little bit a little bit because what they want to do is
they're lashing out right they're throwing the negativity they like those
explosions they like to see it hit something and blow up they that's what
they're doing that's how they roll so you're gonna absorb again catch it and
pull it in right so when they're like we can never do this I don't say we can
absolutely do this no cuz you didn't you're just gonna create the explosion
that they're looking for instead of saying you don't want we might not be
able to do it I'm gonna give it a I'm gonna give it a good solid try I'm gonna
try it happen right so we're just deflected it a little bit and they're
gonna throw you some other negative thing and you know if they say this is
stupid I don't say no this is the most brilliant
thing I've ever seen I don't do that don't go head-to-head I'm gonna say you
know what there's definitely some room for improvement the next time around
you're right a hundred percent ooh yeah you just got deflected and those
reactions they disarmed these ultra negative people and it kind of takes
their their fight from them and it also makes them look like emotional
extremists so with the group right when somebody calls that out in the group
then they're coming across all extreme and you just absorb it and negate it a
little bit it negates their view or it I shouldn't say negate because negate me
it's like totally laughs and cross out when you just absorb it and deflect it a
little bit the rest of the team goes on yeah you know Oh echo he's just super
emotional he's a negative they see him for what he is which help is helpful for
you right and then once I'm done absorbing their attacks and taking some
of those shots no big deal that I want to start to override them somewhat with
some with some positivity which is gonna be directed at them right so they were
all negative but I'm gonna say hey what you did there really work well or you
know a you good job on I don't know how did could never could have figured that
out like you did right so I'm gonna start start getting in their head a
little bit and start feeling their head with some positive stuff that's right
that's what I'm gonna do bad you figured that out better than anybody
nicely done and I'm bringing them from the dark side over to the lights that's
what I'm doing I'm bringing him over and actually just had the funniest uh one of
my favorite guys in the SEAL Teams he was my he was my first deployment to
Iraq he was the senior enlisted guy in our task units and and actually we're
just bros but when one of us would start getting a little off the reservation on
something like getting all addicted to some ID or something the other one we
would who'd be looking like I'd be telling them like we
you to do this and this is bullshit we need to do and he look at me like maybe
I juggle come back over here it's okay we're all gonna be okay
so when I would start getting negative huge sir pulling me back to the light
right and same thing with with me with him he would get he would get all you
know get off matter of fact he's the guy remember when we talked about well
simplify repeat ya know simplify amplify and repeat that he would also have to
bring me back for the dark side and I have to do it to him too if he started
getting a little too negative good times but the the last thing I want to do with
someone that's being super negative is I am actually wanna I want to give them
some ownership I want to give them some ownership some ability to make changes
some ability to have some kind of a positive impact on the mission so I'm
gonna pick something that I think they can step up and handle right something
that is within their grasp and realm and ability and I'm gonna give it to him and
and then I'm gonna give them I'm gonna give them one to kind of overload them
with help and with assistance and with guidance to make sure that they win and
that's gonna start spinning them in a more positive direction yeah so that's
my way to deal with the big negative people out there just absorb the counter
I like to know your you be like you figured that out and I said this before
but a good one is to be like to say hey that's what I like about you you're real
whatever X Y Z you know you might feel like people said that to me that's what
I like about you you're real whatever you know and it makes you want to like
continue to be that they don't you he thinks up you know problem solver so
yeah I'm gonna be aware and just continue to solve problems you know you
you put the self-fulfilling prophecy in their own head yeah things that you want
them to do yeah exactly