( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )
>> Stephen: GIVE IT UP FOR JON BATISTE AND "STAY HUMAN" RIGHT
THERE!
HELLO, JON!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY, TO THE
SHOW ALREADY IN PROGRESS.
OF COURSE, FATHER'S DAY IS THIS SUNDAY, AND IT'S NOT EASY TO GET
DAD A GIFT.
I'M IMPOSSIBLE TO SHOP FOR, 'CAUSE I EITHER BUY WHATEVER I
NEED MYSELF OR I GET IT FOR FREE BY MENTIONING IT ON TV.
BUT NOT JUST ANY TV, A SAMSUNG 43" L.E.D. 4K U.H.D. "THE FRAME"
SMART H.D.T.V. WITH A PICTURE SO SHARP YOU'LL FEEL LIKE YOU'RE
STANDING RIGHT NEXT TO THE ALL NEW 2018 CHEVROLET CORVETTE
Z-06.
>> Jon: YEAH!
( LAUGHTER ) FACE IT, THE ONLY THINGS DADS
REALLY WANT FOR FATHER'S DAY IS TO BE WITH THEIR KIDS.
WHICH IS WHY WHAT'S BEEN HAPPENING ON OUR SOUTHERN
BORDER IS SO SHOCKING.
USUALLY, FOR ME TO TALK ABOUT A NEWS STORY ON THIS SHOW,
ESPECIALLY A TRAGIC ONE, IT HAS TO BE SOMETHING EVERYONE'S
ALREADY TALKING ABOUT.
THAT'S MY JOB: TO GIVE MY TAKE ON THE CONVERSATION THAT
EVERYONE'S ALREADY HAVING.
WITH ANY LUCK, MY TAKE IS FUNNIER THAN YOURS, OR I WOULD
BE WATCHING YOU.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT THIS STORY IS DIFFERENT.
BECAUSE IT'S THE CONVERSATION EVERYONE SHOULD BE HAVING.
ATTORNEY GENERAL AND MAN DAYDREAMING ABOUT LEGALLY
CHANGING HIS NAME TO "JIM CROW," JEFF SESSIONS, HAS
INSTITUTED A NEW POLICY TO SEPARATE IMMIGRANT KIDS FROM
THEIR PARENTS.
AT THE BORDER.
SO FAR 1,358 CHILDREN HAVE REPORTEDLY BEEN RIPPED FROM
THEIR FAMILIES AT THE U.S.
BORDER.
IF IT SOUNDS EVIL, THEN GOOD NEWS, YOUR EARS ARE WORKING.
HERE'S THE BAD NEWS: THE UNITED STATES IS YOU AND ME.
WHO ARE PUTTING UP WITH OUR GOVERNMENT SAYING TO IMMIGRANTS
"IF YOU COME TO THE U.S., THE WORST THING IMAGINABLE WILL
HAPPEN TO YOU.
WE WILL TAKE YOUR CHILDREN AWAY WITH NO GUARANTEE YOU'LL SEE
THEM AGAIN."
THAT'S USING CRUELTY AS A DETERRENT.
THAT'S NOT MY INTERPRETATION-- THAT'S OUR STATED INTENTION.
THREE GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS SAID PART OF THE REASON FOR THE
PROPOSAL IS TO DETER MOTHERS FROM MIGRATING TO THE UNITED
STATES WITH THEIR CHILDREN.
THE OTHER PART IS JUST RECREATIONAL RACISM.
AND LISTEN HOW WE'RE DOING IT.
PUBLIC DEFENDERS IN THE AREA SAY FEDERAL OFFICIALS ARE TELLING
PARENTS THEY'RE TAKING THEIR CHILDREN AWAY FOR BATHS ONLY TO
NEVER RETURN WITH THEM.
( AUDIENCE REACTS ) CLEARLY, NO DECENT HUMAN BEING
COULD DEFEND THAT, SO JEFF SESSIONS DID.
( LAUGHTER ) IN FACT, HE SAID THAT SEPARATING
KIDS FROM THEIR FAMILIES IS THE LORD'S WORK.
>> ILLEGAL ENTRY INTO THE UNITED STATES IS A CRIME.
IT SHOULD BE, IT MUST BE.
I WOULD CITE YOU TO THE APOSTLE PAUL AND HIS CLEAR AND WISE
COMMAND IN ROMANS 13 TOO BAY THE LAWS OF THE GOVERNMENT BECAUSE
GOD HAS ORDAINED THE GOVERNMENT FOR HIS PURPOSES.
>> Stephen: DON'T BRING GOD INTO THIS!
FIRST OF ALL, GOD DID NOT PICK YOU BECAUSE I DON'T WORSHIP
VLADIMIR PUTIN.
AND THE ONLY THING IN THE BIBLE CLOSE TO THIS IS A KING
THREATENING TO CUT A BABY IN TWO.
AND HE WAS JOKING.
BUT I'LL GIVE HIM THIS: THAT IS WHAT ROMANS 13-1 SAYS, GOT TO
HAVE LAWS.
BUT IF HE JUST READ A LITTLE BIT FURTHER TO ROMANS 13-10, IT SAYS
"LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.
LOVE DOES NO HARM TO A NEIGHBOR.
THEREFORE LOVE IS THE FULFILLMENT OF THE LAW."
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) BUT I'M NOT SURPRISED SESSIONS
DIDN'T READ THE WHOLE THING.
AFTER ALL, JESUS SAID, "SUFFER THE CHILDREN TO COME UNTO ME."
BUT I'M PRETTY SURE THAT ALL SESSIONS SAW WAS THE WORDS
"CHILDREN" AND "SUFFER" AND SAID, "I'M ON IT."
( LAUGHTER ) NOW, THESE KIDS HAVE TO GO
SOMEWHERE, SO THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION IS TALKING ABOUT
ERECTING THE TENT CITIES ON MILITARY BASES, THEY'VE GOT AN
ABANDONED WALMART THEY'RE STACKING THESE KIDS IN LIKE CORD
WOOD.
BUT IT WOULDN'T MATTER IF YOU TOOK THEM TO THE FINEST HOTELS
IN AMERICA.
OR EVEN A TRUMP HOTEL.
WE'D STILL BE THE ONLY COUNTRY IN THE WORLD DOING IT BECAUSE
IT'S JUST PLAIN WRONG.
SO, FOR FATHER'S DAY, CALL YOUR ELECTED REPRESENTATIVES AND
DEMAND THEY DO SOMETHING.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> YEAH!
>> Stephen: I SINCERELY BELIEVE THAT
IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO YOU VOTED FOR, IF WE LET THIS HAPPEN IN
OUR NAME WE ARE A FECKLESS COUNTRY.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH NATALIE PORTMAN.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )