-Now, Che, I follow you on Instagram,
and I love how when you talk about just things that annoy you
and stuff like that.
People get so mad, but it's so funny to me.
And anyway, just so you know, I'm a big fan of it,
and even though I don't "like" it all the time --
I don't want to be a stalker.
-Yeah, that's for the best. -Thank you.
Well, I think, I'd like to play a new game,
it's called "Go Off."
-♪ Go off ♪
♪ Go off ♪
♪ Go off! ♪
-All right, here's how it works. A random topic will appear
on screen, and whatever it is, you'll have to "go off"
on that topic for 30 seconds. Make sense?
-All right. -All right, here we go.
Here's your first topic.
♪♪
[ Laughs ] -Oh, man, that's easy.
Yogurt with fruit on the side.
-That's the first one to come up.
-That's easy, man. I hate yogurt
with fruit on the side. You know, it looks --
it reminds me of those -- you know those motorcycles
with the little sidecar?
It sounds good.
Nobody wants to be in the sidecar.
Also, you can never get all of the fruit
out of the side to put in your yogurt,
so they're skimmin' fruit.
Put all my fruit at the bottom so I can have it all mixed up.
I like to shake -- I shake the yogurt.
I'm a shaker. You can't shake fruit at the side.
-Oh, my gosh, the sidecar.
-It's the second worst thing to happen to yogurt other than
that little sweat -- that little sweat that comes on the lid.
You know the sweat on the lid?
-That's a little bonus juice. -Yeah, the --
Ew! -Ew. Sorry about that.
Let's try another one. The next topic. Here we go.
♪♪
"Fake crowd noise at sports games."
-Oh, my -- first of all, I don't know how there's
any sports games right now in the first place.
But the worst part, don't patronize me
with fake crowd noise.
It's bad enough you get arguments with people
that play sports or that think
that they can coach better than the team.
And now I got to listen to fake people?
I don't even know what these fake people are booing.
They could be booing something important, and now you got --
Could you imagine, like, booing something really important?
You're a real heckler. You're booing, I don't know,
one of... some bad guy's speech.
I don't know. [ Ding ]
That was a hard one, I'm sorry, Jimmy.
-Hey, man, that's whole thing, man. Go off.
-I couldn't think of a bad guy. -I think --
The crowd noise I would get rid of, too, but also,
I don't like the cardboard cutouts of the people.
-I hate 'em. It's dumb. It's like, come on man.
-Come on dude. At one of the things I saw,
there was like a giant dog in one of the chairs.
-Yeah, we're watchin' sports because we miss sports
and we like sports.
Just let us watch the game. -We're good.
-We don't need to watch the crowd.
-Yeah. That's not what I'm missing.
I'm not missing distractions. We're good.
We understand -- I agree with you. Very good.
Here we go, let's do one more, or a couple more.
Here we go.
♪♪
-Oh, toasters with six --
This is -- first of all, if you're making
more than four pieces of toast, nobody wants that much toast.
All right? Nobody -- and if you are,
you can wait.
You can wait on toast, right, it's fine.
You don't need six spots
unless you're Lenny's from Lenwich.
Do they have Lenwich all over the country?
I don't even know. -No, I know Lenwich --
[ Laughing ] It's a very New York thing.
I thought you were gonna say -- -It's a very New York thing?
-I was gonna say, if you're not Jim Gaffigan,
you shouldn't have a toaster with six.
[ Laughter ] -If you can't get toast right
in four tries. [ Ding ]
[ Laughter ] [ Clapping ]
-I always think that, too. That was a weird one.
Oh, you did it. That was a great one.
Let's do one more. Here we go. Ready?
Thank you for doing this. -Let's do it.
♪♪
Oh, scuba diving. -Scuba diving.
-I've never -- I can't swim, right?
Spoiler alert. But I don't like scuba diving
because, I don't -- first of all, I don't like that,
you're really just the ocean's Bigfoot if you think about it.
Because you walk down, and the fish don't know
what you are, and you just in this weird
rubber suit with this mask -- You must freak them out.
And you're going into their living room freakin' them out,
you know, you're Bigfoot.
You're Bigfoot for the ocean.
-Yeah. -Like when aliens come down,
I don't know if Bigfoot's an alien,
but when aliens come down and they're just like
hangin' out and they go back... [ Ding ]
...that's what we're doing to the ocean and it sucks.
[ Laughter ]
-That was great. Perfect.
That's all the time we have for "Go Off."
You are a good man. Thank you so much
for coming back on the show.
My thanks to Michael Che.
We'll be back with more "Tonight Show."
Hope to see you soon, bud.
-That was fun as hell. Thank you.