Top of the morning to you laddies, my name is Jacksepticeye.
And welcome to Paranormal Activity VR.
This now is a VR game that I've been waiting for for a very long time because it's-
*Gets distracted by Pretty, nice, half-nosed, Michael Jackson lady in the corner* Hello.
You're very pretty.
Nice to meet you.
What happened to your nose?
Did you get a little Michael Jackson?
Aww.
I'm sorry.
Umm...
This, uh, VR game that I've been waiting for for a very long time...
And I've been following their Twitter for a very long time...
ever since they first teased the game...
And I am very excited for it. Might as well just call it Paranormal Jacktivity.
So I don't think it got anything to do with the movies...?
The Paranormal Activity movies, it's just called that because you have paranormal activity.
Um - is that a fucking clown in the corner over there?
Anyway, moooving on!
Yeah it is!
Ah that's a bunch of freaky weirdness! Anyway...
New game, please.
I heard that! Door opened! Okay!
We're off to a great start.
Ah!!!
We're fine.
We're a little stick still.
So, apologies.
Uh... bye Martha.
Oh yeah...
Yeah that's not good right there- Oh god my hands are so fucking slow!
I feel like I'm on drugs.
Oh!
And now I'm in the woods!
Why am I in the woods? And why is there a flashlight just lying on the ground?
This is not good.
*dog barking in background*
Oh god.
My flashlight barely works- Ahh!!! Fucking Jesus Christ!
Is that a shallow grave? Is that what I'm going to be buried in? And found in?
*rumbling sound*
Ooooh... that was a deep rumble and a ruckus!
*rustle of leaves moving*
Oh that's me making noise. Jesus!
Imma coming doggo!
*sounds of crying dog*
Oh no!
The doggo got hurto!
Why am I here?
Is there any fucking reason why I'm at this house?
Did I break down?
That's a fucking moon up there.
"For sale".
Well, if it's for sale, there's hardly anyone here helping me.
Hello birdy!
Oh hi doggy.
Newspaper!
Uh... I can't fucking read it.
"Strange occult findings in local woods."
"Local hikers -or bikers- in the eastern county found Wicken and Occult like items in the woods."
"During one of their weekly hikes."
Uh... "Should turn off the Friday night lights."
'Scuse me, could I fucking leave?
Strange shit in the woods... What- what are those?
Strange sounds, deep low rumbly-roo?
Dogs getting attacked?
That's a sign that you should leave!
Hello birdy!
Aww!
Okay... what does this say?
"Hey! I swung by to return the key, it's in the usual hiding spot."
"Let me know when you're ready to get back on the market."
"Thanks."
"M. N."
Thank you, M. N!
Where would I hide a key if I were you?
Usually it's under a rock.
Somewhere... or on top of the door.
But I ain't fucking seeing shit, man!
Is it in the flower pots?
Ah!
It IS in the flower pot!
Oh, it looks like the Kingdom Hearts key!
With a little crown on it.
This is my crown now.
In we go!
Oooh...
This is the badness in here...
What the fuck just happened? Game kinda freaked out on me, stop that.
Oh! I can pick shit up!
"Need food." Finally! Something I can relate to!
Always and everywhere. I'm just gonna get one of these.
I'm going to get a post-it with "Need food" on it...
and just stick it to my chest.
So every time I go around- it's not a name tag...
It's a "Do this to Jack" tag.
Also, I'm seeing a battery.
Ah ha! Now I am the one with light!
What are you pointing at?
Fucking nothing, bro.
Okay... can I go in anywhere?
Hello grandaddy clock...
Oh there's a door open down there...
I can't go in these ones...
Anybody home?
You guys wanna play some board games?
Some Scrabble? Maybe a bit of Boggle? No?
Okay...
Ah! My- my commentary is gonna change very quickly when I start getting scared.
Everything's locked...
Oh, it's not locked! I'm just stupid.
Hello?
Oh nutsacks!
(Jack regretting his decision in 3...2...1...
Oh god...
Oh god, why?
Why? Oh, now I hate it.
Now stuff is changing. Everything's very quiet.
Did someone take a poop?
Oh there's a key!
(Jack breaks glass by gently touching it... Nice...)
I didn't do that!
And even if I did, that's my bad, that's 7 years bad luck for me!
*wiggling of a key in a key hole*
It's not for you?
Okay...
*Worried* So... what do I do?
*question form?* I'm coming out now?
If there's any ghost, don't get spooked!
Okay
Okay we're fine, we're good.
"I am scared." - "Cindy", according to Jack
Me too, Cindy!
I'm a little spooked!
Down you go!
Oh yeah, I'd be scared too if I looked like that-
I mean, I'm not making fun of you!
Don't attack me, demon girl!
Oh it still opens!
Oh I don't like this!
This fucking sucks!
I heard something
Oh. hi teddy!
Oh, hi Mark! (line from 'The Room')
Close the door, 'cause I don't want anyone sneaking up on me!
That's a sad looking dog.
Are you an evil teddy?
Ah ha!
Now what?
Okay, you just sit right there.
Good teddy, good.
Good. "The cheating spouse."
"Shattered mind, open world."
That does not sound like a good video game.
An open world, a shattered mind, cheating spouse video game?
"Your enemy may be closer than you think."
"Syphilis kills."
Well I know my enemy's probably closer that I think in this fucking creepy abode.
But I don't think it's Syphilis that's going to kill me- is that the name of the ghost?
Syphilis?
Okay, pick up the batteries. *distant banging noises*
Were these your batteries?
Sorry!
I needed them.
For things.
Uh oh...
Uh oh, there's no key hole...
Uh oh! I need to go back out there! *nervous laughter*
That's bad!
Okay. I'm a brave boy! I can do it!
(Wish you luck, Brave Boy...Be back for supper!)
Muster up your fucking diaper. Here we go. It's time for the adult...
to go to work.
A squeeeeeak!
Who was that? Was there somebody knocking?
You want some sugar?
Oh, that's open...
Oh, that's open real nice...
Any spooky ghosts wanna fuck with me?!
Please no - aww it's little fucking Cabbage Patch Kid.
Where did it go?
What?
Did I pick it up and get rid of it?
Oh, look at that!
Dude, I'm a magician!
Okay.
Oh shit! I heard that.
Oh no.
Oh no...
You boarded up the door?!
Where did you even get carpentry skills like that?
Nah, fuck my ass, man.
It's like a little key!
Or the pin out of a live hand grenade...
And I'm in for a surprise.
*door banging* Jesus fucking Christ!!! No!!! No!
That's not okay!!!
Oh Jesus fuck.
*deep inhale and exhale of relief*
I'm fine! I'm fine! It's okay.
It's just my own trail of shit across the floor.
*Laughs* Everybody's having a good time.
*girl talking* "Hey!"
"It's after me!"
Okay, um... maybe introduce yourself a bit first?
What's after you? Who are you?
*worried* Is it after me as well?
Probably...
Okay. I didn't mean to open it further...
Okay.
*asking no one in particular* Maybe follow demon child upstairs?
I don't know!
If it was me, I would just be leaving right now...
(It is you...You have the choice of leaving the game...But Please don't...this is entertaining...and you're funneh!)
Are you helpful?
I don't fucking know! That didn't do anything!
This house is gigantic!
*Bookshelf falls directly in front of Jack's face* Fucking hell!!!
C*unts!
Don't do that!
Can I- can I move? Okay...
*Deep exhale* Jesus, man!
*Starts short conversation with Antisepticeye in his head* I'm not scared!
Shut up, that's why.
None of these open!
*door shaking*
Y-You want me to use the key on you?
Are you getting jealous?
*Cutely* Chink CHink
No?
It doesn't work on that either? What does that key work on?
I don't want to go in there anyways, fucking knock knock knock knock knock knock knock...There's some bad shiet goin' on in there
Hello? *music starts playing*
Are we watching reruns?
Ohhh... There's going to be a bad in here!
This is the police!
Oh it's the fucking clown!
*Some kind of hip song starts playing with the creepy, scary, spooky clown that is singing*
*singing* The Vengaboys are coming, and everybody's jumping, New York to San Francisco, an inter-
Okay...
Can you stop?!
*Jackaboy beating the clown around, and losing*
Oh god! He's invincible! I can't get rid of him!
*Music starting to sound like it's being taken over by a demon*
Hello...?
Okay, I really don't like this. This is fucking weird.
*Jack taking the needle off the record player, annoyed*
Shhhut up!
Okay. Is anybody hiding out in the little tent village?
Ha, K, ha K, fucking sarcastic asshole.
The doll's back! Ah, punched my fucking thing.
Does the key work on this?
Oh god, that's fucking big ass book.
No.
Why am I in here?
*door creepily opens*
Oh Jesus, I can't do that! I'm a big boy!
Well, that solves my problems, see you later, fuuuck you.
And fuck you, stupid ass clown...
Hi? Yes! Hello! Help!
What are you rolling to me?
Little girl?! What the fuck is going on your house? And why are you still here?
I would much rather the badgers and wolves in the woods than stay in here.
Well, on I go...
Why did you throw this ball at me?
Did you actually want to hit me? That's not very nice!
Eh! *Jack throws ball as hard as he can but it lands two feet in front of him*
*Awkward silence of dissapointment*
Amazing.
Don't turn around, don't look back.
*Turns around* *slaps my forehead*
It's all fine... Oh, hi!
What's happening?
Oh, are you going to be visited by the ghost?
The ghost of Chri- Ah, there it is!
"My dearest Bill, I am writing you this letter because you refused to tell-"
"To talk to me. If there is something that I have done to anger you, please just tell me. Talk to me. We need to talk all the time for hours and hours- we used to..."
Sorry Bill. Ah... "Remember our-" Fuck you. Jesus.
Okay. I need a new battery...
No?
But the light's going out!
Okay, I guess not...
*Weird noise that Jack ignores*
Are we good? Can I have this Jägermeister?
*Satisfied* Oh yeah...
Oh yeah, oh, can I- can I screw the top off? Oh, fuck you.
Piece of shit.
*girl screaming* Jack: Oh fuck!
Random girl living in the haunted house that is for sale whisper/yells: She's gonna get me!
What's, what's going on?
Little girl?
Fucking hell! She's the scariest thing so far.
Can I not go in?
*Little girl crying her eyeballs out*
I guess not... that's the sad room in there, I don't want to go in there.
Oh!
*The random "maybe" mom living in the haunted house for sale* "We shall rise."
Who are you? Ah! Ah fuck!
I'm gone! Fuck you lady. Oh! Jesus! Oh! Go in here!
Go in here, close the door.
Close the fucking door!
Okay!
Am I okay?
Oh, this is different...?
*Jack frantically tries to turn on flashlight*
My light doesn't work!
*Jack tried turning flashlight on again, but doesn't succeed*
Okay.
Oh Jesus, where the fuck are we now?
Can I go out?
Oh, there's TVs everywhere, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore. (line from "Wizard of Oz")
*distant music and crying sounds*
Stop it!
Da fucking Jesus creepy baby!
Could you all fucking stop? I'm a nice person! I came to look for sugar!
My car broke down, I'm tired!
I wanna go home!
Staghp it!
Okay, so we're in some sort of dream sequence...
I fucking hope!
This is not okay.
*Clowns all start singing weird demon words out of sinc*
Hi... how are you? Oh, they're all turning towards me, that's fucking freaky.
How's it going? You guys having a fucking good time? "The key to see who cannot see."
What?!
This is cool-looking, though!
*Toy car starts rolling towards Jack from a still position*
*All windows shatter*
You fucking did that, you piece of shit!
God, I was having a nice time, and then you broke all the windows. Now it's cold in here.
God dammit!
Okay...
That's cool- don't fucking throw a box at me, you stupid ghost!
Imma fight you!
*Football/soccer ball starts rolling from hallway in front of Jack*
Oh, football! You like football? *more glass smashing*
Stop breaking the windows! That's not scary, it's annoying!
*Tries reading words in BLOOD on the wall* Something "Our pa"- What? "Path."
*Continues reading blood on wall* "The path will save."
*spears shoot out thru the wall and almost hit Jack*
That almost got me!
Hello?
Jeezus Krey-Ok
Fucking- I'm-s- my bad. I'm sorry. I was just trying to form a complaint.
Oh, it's dark in here...
Oh, what's gonna pop up?
*lights turn on*
*Jack looks around silently, obviously confused*
What?
Oh Jesus. Oh Christ!
I don't want to be here!
I'm going this way!
That's cool!
That's less cool!
Just... just walking along... finding my own path, here we go.
What is this?
Ooh, a fucking cleaver. Who wants to go? Yeah, Imma stab the shit out of you.
And back in door number 2.
Okay.
I'm gonna leave this episode of Paranormal Activity here.
Decent game, it's just- it-it started to get less scary the more I went on into it.
Maybe that or there was just- I don't know.The controls were a little weird.
So it kinda pulls you out of the experience.
It's nice that they didn't go for...
Like, the teleporting controls, 'cause I kinda hate that in VR.
Where you like, put an arc somewhere, and then you click a button and you just teleport to that location.
It's nice that you can actually walk around. I just, I'm not a fan of walking where you're looking...
Like holding forward and then you walk this way...
And then this way and that kinda stuff.
I'd much prefer if they just used the actual track pad to be able to move around in different ways...
and then, I don't know. It seems-
Motion controls or VR controls seem to be the biggest hurdle so far for a lot of developers, um...
I don't really know why. You have all the tools there... I don't know.
Maybe it's a lot harder to do than I think it is, but let me know if you want to see more of the game...
Because this is more than just like a small short little tiny VR experience...
I think it's actually a fully fleshed out video game.
I'm - I'm reluctant to call it a triple A game, because I don't know if it is...
Um, but I'm really curious to see how much more of the game there is...
and what the rest of the game will be.
I didn't know that it was kinda like, you go into the house and then you go into dreams sequences...
And the floor falls out from under you, 'cause I'm not really a fan of that stuff, that's not really what's scary to me...
'Cause then it just disconnects me from stuff and I'm like "Oh yeah, video game."
It's the same when I played like, The Evil Within...
and you start warping between different areas and that kinda pulls me out of it.
I'd much rather the kinda Outlast approach, where everything is self-contained in one asylum sort of thing.
I don't know. That's just personal preference. But for now...
Thank you guys so much for watching this episode.
If you liked it, punch that like button in the face, LIKE A BOOOOSS!!!!!
And...
High fives all around.
*whapoosh, whapoosh*
Thank you guys, and I will see all you dudes...
*In a voice higher than all the skyscrapers in NYC* In the next video!!!
*outro, electronic music*
It's warm in here, man.
I'm sweatin'.