What up? PIMPS!!!
*Coughing*
Welcome back my friends to another episode of the H3Report,
You guys are so lucky to be tuning in to this week's episode because we have some pretty juicy scoops! okay?
Vidcon was this week as many of you know,
And it is pretty much the hellhole,
That we expected that it would be, it is an absolute nightmare a chasm of hell
I don't recommend anyone go there, well to be fair
I have never been there, but if you look at the videos
I'm about to show you you're gonna have a hard time arguing, let's jump right in!
The first video to come out of Vidcon was this "Instagram model" called Christian burns
And this guy has something like 20,000 followers on Instagram.
I don't know if I've ever seen such little amount of fame go so quickly to someone's head, listen to this guy
"Do not treat a human being like a dog"
ironic statement of the year, this is the moment when sad, and young Christian burns, the hot little
Instagram twink realized that all the adults in the world weren't his parents and wouldn't just bring him spaghettios every time he asked.
I just made $300 on Instagram. I have 10 followers. I'm famous bitch. Who are you?
Security guy who actually makes more money than me if you factor in the hourly rate
And he probably has a really good retirement plan with a security company probably makes more money than you do, dude
Let's kill the ugly people. Let's kill the ugly people! A message brought to you by Instagram fuccbois.
Blue-Collar peasant? Dude shut up you,
Oh My God! This guy might be the worst person.
I think maybe that ever lived. You have 20,000 instagram followers your calling people peasants unironically!
What are you wearing? It's a uniform, He's working for a company where he's working for a security company.
What do you mean? "What are you wearing?" It's called a job dude!
*Pained groan*
What is this? Apparently, according to the New York times, this video is why terrorism exists? I just took this off their front page.
Man, it's so Society's fault that this guy with 20,000 instagram followers couldn't get into Vidcon.
You probably don't need more evidence to realize that Vidcon is the ninth circle of hell
But just in case you need a little more persuasion, here's a video of what happened when Logan Paul showed up.
I think the reason that security looked angry
They were pulling him out is because they he wasn't supposed to be there because they know if he went in this main area that
There would be a stampede that would result in several fatalities
Logan Paul's like, "if two little kids don't get trampled to death...
Then I'm not as famous as I thought." By the way, what color is that shirt, dog?
What is this planet? What is this planet? This is like Children of the Corn, dude. There's hordes
Fields of Little 12 year olds chanting your name
I don't know if that should be a good thing or a warning sign that your life has taken the wrong turn
In short. I am really disappointed that me & Hila did not get to go to Vidcon this year
But when I die and I wake up
And I realized that I am in Vidcon and hear logan Paul's name being chanted in the distance. I'll know that
I am actually in hell. Next story my friends
There is a new YouTube channel called Creator insider
I haven't been talking much about the ad pocalypse
Lately and a big reason is because of these guys over at creator insider
Which are Youtube employees that in response to all this
Miscommunication in the ad apocalypse actually made a Youtube channel where they've been giving out super great useful information there
So I definitely recommend going and checking out creator insider
But there was this one clip from one of their recent videos that really piqued my interest. Have a look: "Secondly,
inappropriate use of family entertainment characters this is videos that you may have seen where it depicts a
Family Entertainment character could be live action could be video and they're engaging in you know violent vile
or otherwise inappropriate
Behavior that's no longer going to be monetizable. Is he talking about
Spider-Man and Elsa
Spider-Man and Elsa videos that depicts Spider-Man raping Elsa are no longer monetizable. Oh, this is such a dark day
I'm so sad today, because I can't jerk
My Little Ding-Dong, Spiderman and
Elsa used to come and I could jerk my little ding dong off on YouTube
I can still jerk off, there's lots of stuff on YouTube, but I'm gonna Miss you Spider-Man
No, I get my little ding dong out
Rest in Peace, I love you. We'll miss you forever
Hila, it's over man. What's over?
Spider-Man and Elsa. We can't wear these anymore
No, I was just about to launch my channel
I'm sorry, dude. You have to take it off. I don't wanna
Next scoop is pretty hot. This is a spicy hot 18 plus warning here guys make sure that you're 18 plus here
We have the thickness in chief. Have a look at that thickness, boi!
I saw this and I got a little jealous. I'm not gonna lie, I'm like, Mr. President,
You got some thiccness. Shit, I'd like to go one-on-one with some tennis with the president
Do you know what I'm saying salute to the thickness in chief. I love that you can see his tighty-whiteys, dude I love that
Back off president
back off, the throne is mine. And finally guys we're going to finish off with a heartwarming story of love and
Triumph over all. If you guys remember we made a video about this woman who was in love with a theme park ride?
Yes, that's right.
A big dippin' theme park ride and frankly this ride made me insecure,
With how big those jibs were.
I love him for the narrowness of his jibs.
Well, I'm happy to announce that after an
On-again off-again relationship for 10 years they finally decided to tie the knot and she is now
officially engaged to be wedded to this wonderful large jibbed
Ride this isn't a joke. This is actually happening on this planet
So congratulations to the newlyweds guys love triumphs over all my friends
I'll be sending flowers with my best wishes and a can of WD40,
So that you may, your jibs may always be greased.
A couple of the things guys, if you didn't know we are back,
Slamming hard with our podcasts. We do it live every Friday at 3PM. Over at Twitch.tv/h3h3productions.
We're having a lot of fun there that link is in the description.
You can catch it on YouTube two days after it Airs live over at the H3 Podcast channel.
You can catch that link there and, here we go.
Did you notice this fly bomb-ass hat? Pretty stylish, pretty fresh?
What do you think who do you think made this? We've been talking about, Hila has been working on a clothing line
It's been her dream her whole life to make a clothing line. This is the first sample we got back.
This is the very first hat just a sample
But we're think we're getting close to releasing the first collection in a couple months here, and we're super excited,
What do you guys think?
How do you like this hat?
Would you slam this? Would you slam this Bradberry?
Let us know in the comments what you think.
I'm very excited. This is now my new favorite hat,
Thank you, Hila.
You're amazing, and we do have one final surprise for you guys because today is my birthday,
And we are sponsored by Dollar Shave Club, so Hila, has some words for you guys.
Hila, will you please step into the frame please for a moment? Now I don't want to have to say anything
I don't want this shave. It's my birthday today, Hila, so, I'm just going to sit here, and you take care of everything. That's my wish
Dollar Shave Club, they do razors.
Wow, you don't go up? What are you doing? You don't go up. Have you never shaved before, you just swiped up on my face.
Well good thing it's such a good clean razor didn't even hurt my skin.
You can order it online for $5 for the first month.
And, it comes straight to your home.
What does it include?
A razor?
Shave butta', and a pack of razors.
To get that great deal, you go to
Dollarshaveclub.com/h3h3, the link is in the description right Hila? Yup. What should they do there?
You click it.
It's a great razor for a great price.
Ships all the way to your house, and it's Ethan's birthday.
So, go to the link because that's related somehow. Click it, and get your razor.
And wish Ethan a happy birthday!
Thank you Hila. See you guys next time.
Happy birthday, Ethan!