Third step, deal with crisis deadlines and offenses. I'm going to show you how. This is step number
three out of seven answering the question. How to turn a negative experience into a positive
outcome? Get ready, this is crucial on your way to be able to look at anything in life
that happens that is negative and turn it into a positive outcome.
So, I'm Doug Andrew and I've helped many... families and businesses teach these concepts
to their children, grandchildren, employees. I'm passionate about helping people understand how
to have a brighter future. I've been very blessed in my life with my wife of more than 48 years
to be able to teach not only families this but we volunteer at many youth detention centers,
crisis centers. I'm on a board for teenage suicide prevention. My wife has helped many children at
the Christmas box and this is something that we face all the time our people ourselves included
that have negative experiences setbacks in life and I'm going to show you step number three on how
to overcome and actually transform that negative experience into a positive outcome. Here we go.
So if you're not aware I have a 20-page document that I call the negative experience transformer
and at the end of this episode, I'll show you how you can get a copy of this for free
and also a copy of my book entitlement abolition that teaches this concept. So, stay with me here.
But the third step in this process because we've talked about uh doing a gratitude assessment
and step number one step number two is gaining the proper perspective keep the big picture in
mind and realize that this is just a small drop in this bucket we call life. So, this next step is
where you begin to realize how to deal with crisis, deadlines, offenses, or insults in life. We all
experience those. I remember learning about this in this particular way several years ago up in
Le Connor Washington at George Pransky's office. Now, George Pransky has written several books
probably his most famous one is the relationship factor. As he was talking to a group of us up there
because I was checking out his place to be able to refer clients to and so forth. He was talking
about the emotions that we all feel when we experience a crisis in life, okay and so you know
you get to anxious. You get upset. Sometimes you get retaliatory, angry and so these are normal
emotions when we have a crisis happen and then he says, what about when there's a looming deadline?
Yeah, same thing you get anxious, you get upset. Sometimes you get angry, irritable, and he says
those are natural emotions because of these deadlines. Also when you get insulted or offended
how do you feel? Golly, the same way upset, angry, retaliatory, and he goes these are true emotions.
He says, now we actually have the power within us to be able to change the way that we act or react
because it's all up here. Now, he's a world-renowned psychiatrist and psychologist and he says you can
instantly change. In other words, I think there's a german saying that says you can choose to be upset
but you're not obligated to be when things happen in life. As he began to write these
three experiences up on the board it wasn't quite in this order but I rearranged it for this purpose.
Crisis, okay so we have a crisis in life and then we have a deadline or we have insults or offenses
and I arranged it in that order and he says, "So, how is the best way to deal with that or
to change your mind instantly?". Now, when I say change your mind, what does that mean?
Oft times, I tell this story. Years ago, I was with my brother and we had like 40 minutes to hurry and
grab a hamburger shake some fries or whatever. So I picked him up at his office and we got in the car
and I got in this left-hand turning lane. I knew this intersection. I had been in that intersection
almost every morning when I was going to college and I knew that when the light turned green
to let the left hand turn people go through. That if it sensed motion it would let
several cars maybe 15, 16, 17, cars go through the intersection and so we were about the sixth car
back and the light turns green and guess what? The lead car is not paying attention
and I think oh no and then the light turns immediately yellow, has that ever happened to you?
Because it's not detecting motion and so this is unfolding in front of me it's a time crunch for me
and I turned to my brother and I said, "Some dumb idiot in the league cars not paying attention and
now we're gonna have to", and all of a sudden the lead car is the only one that wakes up and gets
through of course but it comes into full view. iI's a cream-colored Chevrolet Monte Carlo with
a distinguished gray hair gentleman sitting in it and I turned to my brother and I said and, "It's dad."
It was our dad. He's one of the most gentleman. He would never intentionally try to bug somebody and
I instantly went to I wonder what's on his mind. Let's see if we can catch up and take him to lunch.
What was it that changed my mind instantly to taking this idiot to lunch? Okay, it was my
perspective. It's like when we were raising our children and my wife would be giving you know
the children of ryden, "You go to school one more day without making your bed and hanging up your
clothes and tidying your room. I'm going to march down to that junior high", and all of a sudden the
phone would ring and she'd go over and answer the phone and it would be one of the neighbors
she'd say, "Hello, oh fine", and the kids would go, "That's not the woman she was a second ago".
See, we can instantly change our mind on how we act or react and that's all George Pransky
was teaching us. So all of a sudden I got this huge epiphany. Now, before I share this. If this
is intriguing you or you know somebody that would benefit from this. Be sure and share,
post a comment, click like, but subscribe to this channel and click the little bell so you'll be
notified every time I post a new episode which I do almost on a daily basis and stay with me
to the end because I want to gift you a copy of my book entitlement abolition absolutely free.
When George Pransky was talking about the emotions that we all feel when we have a crisis in life
or we have a looming deadline or somebody offends us insults us. All of a sudden I thought, "Wait a
minute, what's the best way to deal with a crisis?". Usually, when I have a crisis I get fearful and
if I have fear that emotion cannot occupy the human heart simultaneously with faith.
See, I've realized and found out in my life. If I exercise faith in a brighter future now faith
without works is dead. You have to have faith in a brighter future that things will work
out. That you do everything you can do and a higher power will make up the difference.
You handle crisis with faith and that dispels the fear. What about deadlines? You have
these looming deadlines. I remember my manuscript for my third book which became a New York times
Wall Street Journal number one bestseller. The advance for that book was one million dollars.
The manuscript was due the day after labor day. Now I could either choose to be anxious and
frantic over the labor day weekend or else I could look towards the deadline as a life
line, a lifeline. See, Zig Ziglar one of my favorite motivational speakers used to talk about I don't
have colds. I have occasional warms. My temperature goes up, I get a fever. I don't have colds I have
warms. I don't talk about the weekend I talk about the strong end. He would use that type
just to set himself up and so I would change my mind instead of a deadline I would go, "Oh, I can't
wait till that date that lifeline", because then my book will hopefully be launched and it'll become
a New York Times Wall Street Journal number one bestseller. I'd be thinking about all the positive
things that would happen at that life line not deadline. It makes all the difference in the world
it's all up here. So, how do you handle a deadline or look at a lifeline with hope. You were hoping
for the best. So we've got faith, we have hope. When you have hope for a brighter future you can handle
those deadlines in life and turn them into lifelines. Because you're hoping for the best
outcome. If you've read in the good book what comes after faith, hope, charity, or love and it fit
perfectly. I got that epiphany that day I turned to my wife and I said the way you deal with crisis,
deadlines, offenses, is with faith, hope, and charity. See, when somebody offends you, you just say,
"Oh, bless their heart if they really knew what I'd been going through or what",
why I did this and that they would have never. But they don't know that they don't have
my perspective of this. So I forgive them. In fact, most of the time people don't really mean
to offend we choose to take offense. I remember going to a woman's funeral and her program said,
"She was never offended because she never took offense." How simple is that it's like Mark Twain's
quote, "Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet spreads upon the hill that crushed it."
Yeah, just you know what because most of the time people don't mean to offend. We choose to
take offense and it's hurting you not them. In the small percentage of time when somebody does mean
to offend you. If you want to get back at him don't get upset don't take offense. It'll drive him crazy.
Just be charitable. So the way that we deal with crisis, deadlines, and insults, is with faith,
hope, and charity. It's been in the good book for millennia I missed it. But I connected the
dots that day in Washington state. So if you would like all seven steps I would really admonish you
to watch the other episodes. But you can get the 20-page document the negative experience
transformer with all the explanations in here and also the tools. But I want to gift
you a copy of this book entitlement abolition. You simply go to entitlementabolitionbook.com
and you contribute a nominal amount towards the shipping and handling or click on the link below
and I'll cover the rest of that cost and I'll fire out a copy to you. There are options there
if you like to listen and learn or watch and learn. I have an 18-hour master class
talking about this book and it goes very deep into concepts like this negative experience transformer.