“What is the most typical ‘brown dad thing’
you have ever done slash
could see yourself doing?” This is from Lekha –
is Lekha here?
I feel like– I feel like I’m, like, the teacher, I’m like, “Is Lekha..?”
The most... What is “the most brown dad,” um...
When I was a kid, I remember –
I don’t know if this happened to you guys –
did your parents not let you watch The Simpsons?
It was so crazy that my–
Was it the same reason why my parents didn’t–
It was because the kids talk back to the–
How is it like–
Was there a group email?
Every person I’ve talked to about it I’m like,
“Your parents didn’t let you watch The Simpsons
because the kids talk back to the parents?” and they’re like, “Yeah, of course.”
Yeah, they thought because, like, Bart
talked back to the parents, they’re like,
“This is nuts. You can’t... you can’t watch this.”
And so that was–
I think I’m gonna hold the line with that. No Simpsons.
No cable television. It won’t even matter.
Did your parents let you go to sleepovers?
That was also a big thing.
Why?
Really?
Could you go to sleepovers?
I mean.
Yeah, see.
That’s, that’s the– That’s our community in a nutshell.
You have, like, earrings, you’re tatted, you’re like,
“I went to sleepovers all the time.”
And you’re like, “I couldn’t go to a matinee movie.”
Are you guys related?
I know, that’s what I’m saying.
Yeah. Yeah. I, exactly. That was the joke.
Jesus, man.
Ay yai yai, bro.
Alright, “Being a first gen Muslim here is hard,
but what makes it worse is how judgmental our own people are
about anything out of the norm.
How do you deal with the Haram police?”
That’s great.
Dude, I just live and let live.
Like, that’s my thing, like, just, like, do your thing.
Do your thing.
I remember, like, one of my favorite moments is last year
at, like, Eid prayer,
um, there was this, like,
there’s this white lady who came into the mosque
and she straight up had short shorts,
and she just walked right–
I know, your face is everything.
And I like, like, during the sermon and everything
she just, like, walked right in,
like, no head cover just, like, straight up just, like,
ready to play volleyball, like–
And, like, nobody said anything. I was like,
“This is a huge historic moment for the community.”
I really loved it. I was really proud of–
There was no uncles being like, “Ahhh how is this hap–?”
Nobody was, like… yeah.
So that’s my policy, live and let live, do your thing.
Do your thing.
“What’s something you’ve learned since last year?”
You know what? One of the coolest things I’ve learned from this show is, um,
a lot of the topics that we cover,
you know, a lot of the different trends that you see in the world, um...
The world is a lot smaller than you think.
Like, the trends and forces that we see,
um, happening in other countries are happening
here as well and we’re not immune to that.
That’s been one of the most interesting things to see.
So, to see the rise of authoritarianism around the world–
To see, you know,
developed countries even backslide into that sort of
insanely hateful rhetoric.
And sorta almost see it like a weather pattern,
um, has been really interesting to see, so that’s been really cool.
I remember when I first, um,
started working at The Daily Show, one of the challenges that we had was,
“Hey, how do you connect this to America? You have to make it about America.”
And now,
I think it’s been really cool to see
the show have more of a global conversation.
So we start with a Malaysia or we start with an India
and then everybody else around the world kinda has to
come to that as the, sort of, centerpoint of the conversation,
which I thought was really cool. Um...
Yeah.
I mean it’s also depressing because, like,
you know, corruption has no borders, so...
“What is one government secret you would want
to F.O.I.A. – Freedom of Information Act?”
Damn.
Who submitted this? There’s no name on this,
which is, like, super weird.
There’s no name, seriously.
It’s just like–
UFOs?
You don’t–
Do an episode on UFOs?
You want me to full on go Alex Jones?
You believe in it?
Look at the details?
You’re like, “Check all the websites.”
“UFOsarereal.com, check that one out.”
No no no, but for real–
The military.
Yes.
No, I’m not gonna turn on you, I believe it.
Yeah, for sure.
The New York Times did a thing on –
– did a thing on UFOs?
Is that true?
No, don’t pull out your phone, you’re not supposed to do that.
Recently?
All the time?!
That is not all the time.
No way, it’s not all the time.
Is that real? Hang on, hang on.
Because the way you’re saying it is super real.
Say what?
In The New York Times?
And what was the take? Like what was the...
Oh, my god.
What did it say? Does anyone know?
What do you think?
Yeah.
Why are you saying it like, “Why would anyone ever–?”
Oh, you think they’re just making it up?
No I think it’s real, I think it’s real I’m with him.
I think it’s real.
Why wouldn’t they–
My thing is though, I don’t think they’ve come here yet,
but there’s definitely aliens.
They’re here??
Come on, dude.
Where are they? What do you think, like, where are they?
What do you think– Is he, how are you guys related?
What do you think when he starts doing this in public?
Like, come on.
Alright, so what’s the move, dude? Like, so, they’re here, and then what?
Wait, what?
Dude, I think you’ve been smoking janjaweed. What is going on, dude?
They’re just, they’re just waiting for us to die is what you’re saying?
What a long play.
Huh?
The aliens?
Next question. Alright.
“Who is your favorite member of BTS?”
It’s from Marshall.
Marshall?
I would say J-Hope.
Yeah, for the dance moves?
Who else, I don’t know the other names.
They’re like, they’re like,
they’re like Korean Wu-Tang Clan, there’s a lot of them.
Seven?
That’s a lot.
Who’s their like, who– Is J-Hope the most popular?
Oh, in different countries?
But they’re all from South Korea, right?
That’s cool.
So they’re like, “We have this one for the Latin American market.
We have this one for the U.K.”
Um, how many people– Do you guys–
Just by a round of applause, who here knows BTS?
That, to me, is crazy. That’s, like, so wild to me that
a South Korean boy band is, like, the –
one of the biggest musical acts in the world.
Which, to me, is another, like, cool moment that we’re having in popular culture
because for the longest time,
we’ve always had to export our soft power to other countries.
And now, that stuff is coming into America, so I think that’s cool.
“If you had to form the ultimate boy group–”
–What? Alright.
Alright, “If you had to form the ultimate boy group, who would be in it?”
Um...
J-Hope? Alright, so we got J-Hope for dancing.
I’d go– You said Drake?
Drake, I would do...
I would do Harry Styles for voice.
Do J-Hope for dance.
You gotta have, uh, you gotta have,
you gotta have Hrithik Roshan for the sixth finger.
Just for just, like, finger ratio.
Uhhh...
Whoa. Damn.
What if– The way you responded–
What if Patriot Act was hosted by Shawn Mendes?
You would lose your mind.
He’d be like, “Tonight I wanna talk about Sudan,”
you’d be like, “Shawn? Shawn’s–”
I would do Chris Kirkpatrick
because you just need a white dude with dreads.
You always gotta have a white dude with cornrows just to,
just to mix it up. Just to offend people.
Um,
and just have Beethoven on the piano.
Round out the group.
“What’s your desert island album?” This is from Maddy.
What’s you– What’s your desert island album?
Damn, you knew it, like, just like that?
That’s true.
Is that a – is that a double disk album?
Just a...how many tracks are on it?
That’s a good amount.
I don’t know. I would need a double disk album.
You’re on the island.
Yeah. Hmm.
Now 67? No. Now That’s What I Call Music.
But if you’re like, “But just 67. It can’t be 66.
It definitely can’t be Now 58.”
I don’t know.
But I do think about going to the island a lot.
Like, whenever I, like, read the news and I’m just like,
“I need to get my money right and get to the island.”
Because, like, global warming –
all the crazy shit that’s happening in the world I’m like,
“We’ve just gotta– I gotta leave.”
I don’t know where I’m gonna go, but we always proverbially call it the island.
Alright, “This show has said a lot about how our species has fucked up.
What things do we as humans do (or have done),
which melt your heart and make you happy?”
This is from Ishaan.
Hey,
what makes your heart melt?
You know, you know– The thing that I, like, what gives me hope?
And makes me believe that, you know,
the aliens are looking out for us...
Okay, alright. Alright, alright, alright.
Alright, I get it, man. I get it.
You’re like that one friend you can’t bring to a bar, you know?
Alright, so.
There’s that, um,
have you seen that video of the, um,
the Spider-Man piñata kid?
There’s that little, there’s, like, the little piñata kid.
So there’s, like, the kid– Yeah, you know!
Like, and they have the Spider-Man piñata and they give this little kid a bat
and they’re like, “Go hit Spider-Man.”
Everyone’s like, “Fuck him up!”
And then he puts the bat down and he hugs Spider-Man.
I know! I’m like, “Aw, humanity.”
The aliens really do care about us.