Thanks for being here virtually.
I can't wait until you're all here in the studio.
Things go back to normal.
Hopefully it won't be long until we're all
double-dipping our fries and making out with each other.
That's what my wish is.
Right now, I want to recognize the best of the internet
during this crazy time.
So welcome to Ellen's Quarantony Awards.
I'll be accepting the awards on behalf of today's winners,
since nobody's here, and my name's on everything.
Our first category is a competitive one.
Best mask fail.
May I have the envelope, please.
Oh.
Haven't seen you in a year.
Good to see you.
Very nice to see you.
OK, you look nice.
Best mask fail.
The winner is spider-man.
Take a look.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Congratulations.
His superpower is eating without tasting.
Probably hasn't brush his teeth in years as well.
This next award is for Best Zoom fail.
May I have the envelope, please.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Just a little bit.
Does it matter?
No.
Lovely Claudia.
[INAUDIBLE] Try not to leave any for later.
All right, the winner is cat lawyer.
This is a lawyer who couldn't figure out
how to remove a Zoom filter during a virtual hearing.
Take a look.
And I believe you have a filter turned on
in the video settings.
You might want to--
Ah.
We're trying to-- can you hear me, Judge?
I can hear you.
I think it's a filter.
It is, and I don't know how to remove it.
I've got my assistant here, she's trying to, but--
ah, I'm prepared to go forward with it.
I'm here live, I'm not a cat.
Objection, let the cat speak.
Oh my God, that's funny all the time, never gets old.
The next Quarantony is for best online purchase.
May I have the envelope, please.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Thanks.
You're welcome, Ellen.
Thank you.
Anyway.
Oh, no napkin?
Spicy.
This is a spicy pickle.
Oh, come on, go to clip.
The winner is the cat computer.
Take a look.
So I read on the internet that cats get on your laptop
because they're mirroring you, and so if you
get them their own laptop, they'll leave you alone.
And look at this little business man!
That's the same computer that the cat lawyer uses probably.
The next category is best pandemic baby.
May I have the envelope, please.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
You've moved on to tequila, I see, from vodka.
That'll feel good later.
All right, the winner goes to window baby.
Take a look.
I don't think I can make it on the outside, Andy.
I've been in here most of my life.
I'm an institutional man now.
That baby sounds a lot like Morgan Freeman.
Somewhere in between Tiger King and Bridgerton,
we ran out of stuff to.
Stream thank goodness, my show was still on.
The final category is best Netflix and chill.
May I have.
The envelope,
[MUSIC PLAYING]
I knew there was a reason you were here.
Not just for the [INAUDIBLE].
Thank you.
All right.
The award goes to Nate and his mom.
Take a look.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Wow.
That was chill and fire.
Congratulations to all the winners.
Now accepting the award for best dancer /
fake DJ / Co-EP / dreamboat, give it up for tWitch.