Second date.
Yeah. Second date.
You need to be a hot dude with a lot of confidence.
Have you seen your ass?
♪♪
My name is Taji. I am a host for Vice.
And the Internet seems to think that I'm a virgin.
Just...
Very well could be true.
So, "One Star Reviews" is a series
where I visit lowly rated businesses
and I experience the services for myself,
and then at the end, I leave a review.
So on this particular episode, I did a dating coach.
She's pretty harsh.
If you were wearing that,
I'd probably have an emergency phone call,
and I wouldn't be able to stay for the date.
Then I went on a date that was also pretty harsh.
If you had texted me,
I don't think I would have responded,
but it would have been easier for me
not to have to tell you to your face.
I failed.
I'd say in general, I am a little bit awkward.
But then when you take, you know,
a dating coach and a date,
and you're gonna end up with, like, some really awkward stuff,
I don't usually say fabulous.
But should I? Should I start seeing fabulous?
Yeah, totally.
This place is fabulous.
Fabulous. Fabulous.
I would almost describe it as fabulous.
Yes, I did take Janis' advice, you know, word for word.
I applied it all on my date.
You know, I think we even, like, broke out a list at one point.
Let me see if there's anything I missed.
- I took some notes. -Oh!
You know, like...
how to be cool on a date.
I was really just following her advice to the tee,
if you will.
So I guess at 8:24,
the smile of a virgin.
So, Janis had a lot of advice for me.
Don't act like a nerd.
Some of the advice involved
just having confident body language.
So I think that kind of is why
I was just sitting there, smiling like a jackass.
You know, I just put my giraffe socks on,
and I went to the dating coach,
and then she somehow noticed them.
And she was, like, just kind of went off.
Why do you have socks on that
have giraffes that are high socks?
Um...I guess I thought
the giraffes were kind of cute, you know?
They are, for a baby.
Like, she had never seen socks this ridiculous before.
♪♪
I love the caps.
I think it's funny when you do all caps.
So, this comment is referring
to the house of the dating coach.
So, Janis has, you know, very high-end clients.
They have to be financially secure enough
to be able to afford us.
They start at basically $65,000 in New York,
and then they go up to $2 million.
Wow.
So I think it's safe to say, you know,
she is successful...
even though she's not very liked.
So, yeah, I think that's about the guy at the clothing store,
who was actually so kind and helping me,
and then we, like, somehow thought
it would be a good idea to FaceTime Janis.
- What are you wearing, dude? -Sorry, she's -- Sorry.
It's like -- It's a look right now.
It was super awkward, 'cause, like, I was holding the phone.
So it was almost like I was, like, critiquing him.
Sorry she's kind of annoying. She's one-star rated.
I know my style. Thank you so much.
She's a one-star.
You're a five-star.
-How's it going? -Good to see you again.
They didn't tell me this is happening,
but I had a feeling when they said "special guest."
Yeah, I decided to come back. Might as well.
Nice. Second date.
Yeah. Second date. Here we are.
Yeah.
If you had texted me, I probably wouldn't respond.
That was kind of mean. I'm sorry.
They were quoting you.
Like, at this point, I just -- I was in, like, disbelief.
I didn't want to come off as the bully
for not being interested in you,
but the list was, like, way too much for me.
Bring "A"-game.
You know, like, just, you know, like, be confident.
-Act confident? -Yeah. That kind of stuff.
I thought I was going on a dating show.
Oh.
Yeah. Like, could I get a new -- a different date partner?
-You wouldn't go on a re-date? -That's not a re-date.
That's a -- It's a date switch-out.
He's saying you want another date with me, I think.
Huh?
No, I still don't want to go on another date with you.
It was just so awkward between us.
You know in, like, the first three seconds
of knowing someone, I think.
Cali style -- would that be cooler, like this?
Whoa, with the...
Alright. I think I'm good.
Alright. I'm just gonna stay here.
-Alright. -Bye
Bye. Thanks for coming again.
Sorry if this was awkward, as well.
Yeah, I tried to just, like, exit.
Yeah, I think you're good. Peace.
-Thank you. -[ Laughing ] Oh!
[ Door closes ]
"Am I really the one who thinks he's cute as hell? LOL."
That's really nice,
although it doesn't have any likes.
But that's okay. We can change that, hopefully.