- Hey, Frank James, FJ, here.
Have you ever thought about your shadow side?
What we're talking about is that part of your personality
which you are not consciously aware.
It is the unknown part of you, but it is very real.
And maybe, this part is scary,
so grab a barf bag just in case you're the kind of person
who throws up when you get nervous,
the people around you see your shadow side.
They very well could know all about it,
but frighteningly, you don't.
You can't see it.
And of course you don't know what you don't know.
I mean, try it out.
Name something that you don't know that you don't know.
I'll wait.
"Okay, Frank, I get it.
So how am I supposed to figure out this whole shadow thing?
Stop teasing me with this really long introduction.
And what does it even have to do
with the 16 Myers-Briggs personalities?"
Well, I'm glad you asked that.
The psychoanalyst called Jung
who outlined the eight psychological types,
which Myers and Briggs later developed
into the 16 personalities wrote at length about the shadow.
And now I, YouTuber Frank James,
will vastly oversimplify,
no doubt making many people angry in the comments.
One of the thing our boy Jung said about the shadow
is that much of it consists
of negative aspects of ourselves which we are blind to
and then project onto other people.
It's the psychological equivalent
of whoever smelt it dealt it, sort of.
Maybe not really when you think about it (chuckles).
And each personality type has a particular blind spot,
something which they are not seeing in themselves,
and that is their shadow.
The way to confront it,
ask yourself some tough questions.
Now, I'm gonna ask each type some questions.
They might ring true to you, or they might not (chuckles) .
Even people of the same type
are not gonna be in the exact same place in their lives,
unless you're conjoined twins,
in which case
you would literally be in the exact same place
in your lives.
So, what do you project out into the world?
What do you not want to see about yourself?
What is your shadow?
Before we continue, let's warm things up a bit.
I'm having too much fun with (chuckles).
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Okay, let's get back into some mood lighting here.
All right, here's some questions for you to ask yourself
based on which of the 16 personalities you are
to begin to discover your shadow.
Get your barf bags ready.
I didn't know 95% of the time your shadow may be hidden,
and 75% of statistics are made up
off the top of people's heads.
So think of those things you times
when you were under a lot of stress
and maybe acted in a way that felt uncharacteristic of you.
That could very well be your shadow.
It's part of you, but only comes out during these moments,
just like a groundhog,
who's only afraid of his shadow on February 2nd, I think.
That's how so Groundhog Day works, right?
ESTJs and ENTJs,
you might be looking out at people around you
and think, "People are so emotional,
they make irrational decisions,
they're overly sensitive,
they're so withdrawn,
they're a bunch of crybabies."
So ask yourself, ESTJ or ENTJ watching this,
when do you let your emotions get the best of you?
Why do you blow up with intense emotion
as though you are a volcano
erupting on the unsuspecting citizens of Pompei?
Why are you so sensitive to criticism?
For ENFJs and ESFJs, you might think to yourself
that other people are jerks, they're critical,
they're mean, they're picking on you,
they're pessimistic, they're selfish.
So here's an awkward question ENFJ or ESFJ watching this:
when have you been a jerk to other people?
Why do you selfishly steam roll over others' emotions?
Why do you get cynical?
Why do you get cold and dismissive?
Could it be your shadow?
ESFPs and ESTPs, you may look at it... (laughs).
You may look at others and think,
"Man, everyone gets so negative about the future.
People are so disconnected from reality.
They're caught up with all this anxiety
rather than enjoying life.
People are so dumb."
But think about it, ESTP in ESFP,
why do you do those very things?
Those times when you think the future
is just a dark void of negativity.
When you stop paying attention to what is real,
what is right in front of you
and instead you freak out
over what might happen at some point?
Why?
For ENFP and ENTP, I know how you guys roll.
You think you're so cool.
You're looking at everyone else and saying,
"Man, they're uptight and controlling.
Just trying to tell everyone else what to do.
Stupid!"
Hey, guess what?
That's your shadow.
Why do you get so bossy and controlling
over stupid stuff that doesn't even really matter?
Like, you step in and try to tell everyone
how they're doing something incorrectly
when nobody cares.
It's inconsequential.
And everyone's aware of this when you do it,
but you aren't 'cause it's a shadow.
Before we continue, let's stop momentarily
and see if YouTube would like to show a commercial.
Thanks for (laughs).
Thanks for sitting through that.
And if you're enjoying yourself, hit the like button.
For the ISTPs fees and INTPs out there,
you probably see others as being smothering,
overly open with their emotions, making dumb decisions,
because it seemed to be what everyone thought sounded good
even though it made zero sense.
But there are times, ISTPs and INTPs,
where you do this too,
where out of nowhere,
you just start dumping your negative emotions on people,
being overly critical of others,
maybe even trying to shame them.
You make silly decisions that make no sense.
It may not happen often, but it's a part of you.
For ISFPs and INFPs, maybe the world to you
seems to be filled with people who are bullies
and they're trying to tell you what to do all the time,
and everyone is cruel and disconnected from their emotions.
People have no values.
But all of this is within you two, ISFPs and INFPs.
You can bully people around
and you can be cruel and emotionless,
and sometimes you can totally abandon
your most closely held values
if it will get you the outcome you want.
So, it's hard to hear, right?
You guys are such sensitive types,
but you've got to realize you've got that shadow within you.
ISFJs and ISTJs, to you, other people may seem flighty.
They just don't get serious about life or whatever,
whatever we're doing here.
They're weird.
They're just too willing to shake up everything
and live in total chaos.
But guess what, you orderly ISFJs and ISTJs,
you have that chaos within you.
Why is it, (chuckles)
why is it that you sometimes throw everything out the window
and then make everyone else pick up the pieces after you?
Why is it that you sometimes
bring up these totally weird and outlandish ideas
about what will happen in the future?
Huh?
Could it be your shadow?
To the INTJs and INFJs watching,
people around you might appear to be erratic, impulsive.
(car engine revving)
There's a loud car going by.
Impulsive, overindulgent even.
They don't think about the future enough.
People are too busy creating chaos right now.
They don't look at things very deeply.
They're caught up with all this superficial stuff.
But guess what, INFJs and INTJs, you do this too.
Oh, yes you do.
Don't try to tell me you don't.
There are times when the people around you are like,
"Why did she do that random thing
without thinking about the consequences?"
"Why is he acting like a wild man?"
"Why is she so caught up in
and freaked out by these inconsequential details?"
Your shadow may only come out in flashes,
every once in a while.
So I'm not suggesting that this is how you behave
all the time.
However, your shadow is a part of you.
And in order to become the best version of yourself
that you can be,
you need to recognize your shadow and own it,
or it may end up owning you.
Once again, go to betterhelp.com/frankjames
for 10% off licensed counseling.
Check out another video right he-(chuckles),
another video right here or the whole playlist right here.
And until next time, stay cool and attractive.
I guess this video could be just titled
Frank Plays with Lights for 10, 15 minutes,
however long this video ends up being.