We have a new student starting today,
so let's all put on a happy face for Flats the Flounder.
[clapping]
Tell the class something about yourself, Flats.
Well, I like to kick people's butts.
[laughing, clapping]
What a card!
Now, Flats, it's time to pick your seat.
Just go ahead and sit anywhere you like.
[Mrs. Puff] Okay, class, as you remember last week...
Hi, I'm SpongeBob.
Hi, SpongeBob.
I'm going to kick your butt.
[laughing]
That joke was almost funnier the second time.
- [Mrs. Puff] Bla, bla, bla... - No. I mean it.
[laughs]
That time it almost seemed like...
You did mean it.
- Mrs. Puff? - Yes, SpongeBob?
Can I be excused for the rest of my life?
[chuckles] Why, no, SpongeBob.
I'm in the middle of a coffee fueled sermon right now,
you can't afford to miss this information.
Yes, Mrs. Puff.
Sorry, Mrs. Puff.
Now, can I please have a volunteer
to come up to the board?
How about you, Flats?
Please draw for us a diagram
of a basic four-way intersection, Flats.
Please turn and show the class what you drew, honey.
Ah!
[gasping] My! How very creative!
We have an artist in the class.
[clapping]
[panting]
I just don't understand.
Why would Flats want to kick my butt?
I haven't said two words to the guy.
Hi, I'm SpongeBob.
One, two...
[gasps] Oh, no! That's three!
What am I going to do?
Was that...? Someone's coming!
They're getting closer.
I just gotta act natural.
Oh, that's real nice.
Whew! I thought for sure that was gonna be...
Flats!
Ah, hello, sir...
Kicked any good butts lately?
Yeah, I remember last week,
I was kicking this guy's butt real good,
and he leans over and says,
"Hey, you know,
life's like a bucket of wood shavings,
except for when the shavings are in a pail,
then it's like a pail of wood shavings!
[chuckles]
Hey, that story really speaks to me.
Really? What's it say?
It says, "Now I'm gonna kick your butt twice as hard."
[toilet flushing]
...and I leave Gary's water bowl to Gary, and my curtains to...
Oh, Neptune, I just can't do this!
[phone ringing]
Death row, next in line speaking.
[Patrick] Hi, I'd like to place an order for delivery.
Patrick? Is that you?
Yeah, hey, Mario.
Let me get a large double olive, double--
Patrick, listen! It's me, SpongeBob!
I need your help!
You're working at Pizza Castle now?
What? No, listen!
I'm in big trouble.
There's a new guy at school here and he wants to kick my butt!
Listen, you're big and strong,
do you think you could come down here
and maybe rough him a bit?
Just to get him off my back?
Please, Patrick, I'm so scared,
it feels like I'm gonna throw up.
[Patrick] No, they're not closed.
I know, you want olives.
Patrick, you there?
[Patrick] Oh, I'm sorry, SpongeBob.
I was just talking to my old community college buddy, Flats.
I bumped into him at the soda store,
isn't that funny?
It must have been years since we've seen each other.
Well, let me get going.
He's got to go back to school soon.
He says he's got to kick somebody's butt.
[screaming]
[Patrick] Hello? Is this Pizza Castle?
[screaming]
[SpongeBob grunts]
Come in, SpongeBob.
Mrs. Puff, can I be in a different class?
But why?
I can't tell you.
Why ever not?
I just can't, Mrs. Puff.
My physical being is at stake, let's just leave it at that.
SpongeBob, you can tell me anything.
You've got to believe that.
Well, okay.
But only if you promise to keep it between us.
Of course.
Flats says he's going to kick my butt!
What?! There shall be no butt-kicking
in any class of mine!
This is an adult program.
SpongeBob, just leave it to me.
Aw, thanks, Mrs. Puff.
I knew I could count on you.
[bell ringing]
Have a nice lunch, SpongeBob?
Yes, Mrs. Puff.
Psst, SpongeBob,
I talked to Flats for you.
I used your name. It was all a misunderstanding.
You what?!
He was never going to kick your butt at all!
You see SpongeBob,
Flats is from a town where kicking someone's butt
means that he wants to be your friend.
And maybe play some sports with you on weekends.
I've got diarrhea!
[panting]
Ah!
Huh?
Are you Flats' dad?
Why, yes I am.
Okay, see, I didn't know where else to turn!
Patrick couldn't help me,
and Mrs. Puff only made it worse.
I sit next to your son Flats in school,
and he is a fine boy and all,
and I don't want you to take this the wrong way,
but he wants to kick my butt.
Dad, what are you doing?
Uh, nothing son.
What did I tell you about talking to strangers?
Now he's gonna kick
[screaming]
Out of my way! Out of my way!
Can't you see he's gonna kick my butt?!
Hi there, young people. Nice day today.
So, you like kicking butts, do ya?
Well, we'll show you, old man!
There he is, go get him!