- Meesa now know what happened to Jar Jar Binks
and now yousa will too on today's Nerdist news-a.
God damn it.
(upbeat music)
There are many mysteries still
left in the Star Wars universe:
Who are Rey's parents? Is Boba Fett alive?
What did the Ewoks do after the
golden god abandoned them on Endor?
And perhaps the biggest mystery of all,
what the hell happened to Jar Jar Binks
after he convinced the senate to turn over emergency powers
to Supreme Chancellor Palpatine,
thereby bringing down the republic?
Of course, given the fan frenzy that stokes
the laser furnace of the Star Wars universe,
there's been no shortage of theories.
For instance, a heavily upvoted Reddit thread
submitted by redditor Lumpawarroo,
hypothesized that Jar Jar was not simply
just a dimwitted, fish-eyed racist stereotype
manipulated by a savvy politician,
but was in fact a Sith master pulling Palpatine's strings
and suggests that Binks true identity is none other
than that of Supreme leader Snoke,
though we've always found that one hard to swallow
given Snoke's rusty British baritone in Force Awakens.
Then there's Lucas Arts action adventure game,
The Force Unleashed, which contains an Easter egg
showing Jar Jar frozen in carbonite
in the Imperial Kashyyyk trophy room,
suggesting that while he's not exactly walking around,
he is, in the words of C-3PO himself,
"Quite well protected, if he survived
"the freezing process that is."
Then there's the old internet assertion
that he quit his job to get into
the foot-licking French fetish business.
(audience laughs)
I'd buy that so much more than the other ones.
Even Force Awakens director and Spielberg sweet heart
J.J. Abrams had a plan for the hapless Gungan.
In a 2015 interview with Vanity Fair,
he stated quote "I have a thought
"about putting Jar Jar Bink's bones in the desert there.
"I'm serious! Only three people will notice,
"but they'll love it."
And we would have loved a dead desert Binks,
even though our guess is millions more
than three people would have noticed,
I mean (bleep), we've already gotten
about two hundred e-mails from people who noticed
that the Gungan getting its tootsies licked
in this pic we just showed,
has boobies and that was like 30 seconds ago.
So what did happen to Binks?
Dead or alive? Sith or skeleton?
Well thanks to the publication
of Chuck Wendig's Lucas approved novel
Star Wars Aftermath: Empire's End,
we finally have an answer, that answer is now canon
and spoiler alert, it is sad.
Not sad, sad, like someone dropping a kitten down a well,
which would also make me furious and sad,
but more like universally despised comic foil
receives tragic comeuppance sad.
Here's the deal, the book takes place roughly
between Return of the Jedi and Force Awakens
and contains an interlude set on Naboo,
in which a young orphan boy named Mapo
happens upon a Gungan clown who's entertaining
a bunch of kids by splashing around in a street fountain,
bulging his eyes out and puffing up his cheeks.
Mapo says hello, and the Gungan introduces himself
"Meesa Jar Jar," ending almost a decade
of mostly ambivalent speculation,
Jar Jar goes onto explain that like the orphan boy Mapo,
he also has more than a few reasons to be sad,
quote "Jar Jar makin some uh-oh mistakens,
"Desa hisen Naboo tink I helped the uh-oh Empire."
(audience laughs)
To paraphrase, Jar Jar is lamenting the fact
that the people of Naboo have accused the Gungan
of collaborating with the Empire
and thrusting the galaxy into years of darkness.
Now a scapegoat to the survivors of the Emperor's reign,
Jar Jar has been forced to beg on the streets of Naboo
by assuming the role of fountain clown.
So there you have it, he's not a frozen trophy,
nor is he a Sith puppet master,
he's just a heart-broken transient
with no family and a bunch of dead friends.
Clearly, the author is slipping
in his own character commentary
to satisfy the world's Binks haters.
Whether he succeeded or not is up to you guys.
No word on whether he likes licking feet though,
that could still be a thing, it could, I'm just saying.
Either way, thanks for the closure Star Wars,
now we can all sleep at night.
Do you guys think that this was
a satisfying way to end the Jar Jar saga,
does Binks get a bad rap?
Have the Ewoks split into two warring factions?
Those that believe C-3PO was a god,
and those who think he was just a bot.
Let's discuss.
And a very special thanks to The Great Wall
in theaters now for sponsoring today's show,
starring Matt Damon, The Great Wall tells the story
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go to thegreatwallmovie.com to
learn more and get your tickets now.