Heya playa, if things didn't work out between you and your crush the first time you might
be thinking how do I get a second chance with them?
Well, I'm going to explain exactly what you need to do to make that second chance happen
and to make something between you and your crush work out.
For those of you that are new here, my name is Josh and every single week I make videos
sharing tips, ideas and stories teaching you how to be your best self, so if you want to
learn and grow hit the subscribe button and make sure to click on the notification bell.
Now getting a second chance with your crush is going to require a little bit of work on
your end.
You're going to need to change up a few things, a few patterns that you have, a few behaviors
if you want to them to actually start paying attention to you.
And this is the part where people start to mentally check out because they don't want
to make those changes.
They just want things to magically work but these four points that I'm about to share
with you are gonna make all the difference so listen up.
Number one, when it comes to getting a second chance with your crush you need to present
your new best self to them.
And that simply means working on your own self-development.
To you that might mean changing up your clothing style or exercising more so, you feel physically
fit.
The whole point really is to feel comfortable around your crush.
And if you feel insecure about how you look, that's going to come off insecure to them
too.
They're going to notice that trait.
Or perhaps that's working on your social skills: talking to more people, networking more, growing
your group of friends.
The fact that you can become more social as time goes on will help your crush see that
you're someone that's interesting, someone worth talking to, someone that they want to
be around.
And while there's plenty of external things you can probably find to fix, it's also important
to work on the internal.
Your self-confidence, your sense of being, finding your path and your purpose.
If you're a person that is all style and no substance, your crush is going to read that
eventually.
Sure you may wow them with how you look but if you can't keep them there with a good personality
it's not going to go anywhere.
So when I say present your new best self what I really mean is this.
That there's an old you that your crush has already gotten to know.
And if you want them to look at you and say "Wow, I feel like you're a totally different
person now.
You carry a different, more positive energy", you need to start creating that lifestyle.
Number two, if you want to convince your crush to give you a second chance, I cannot stress
this enough.
Don't hold them to their past feelings.
So many people make this mistake and kind of pressure their crush to give them a reason
why to explain to them why did you reject me the first time, why didn't you like me?
And this long line of questioning really just leads down one path.
Your crush feeling like you're insecure.
If you're constantly asking your crush "Why did you reject me?
Why didn't you answer my phone call?
Why don't you ever respond to my DMs?
How come you never talk to me when I smile at you or look at you?", yes, your crush is
not going to look at that behavior and say "Oh wow, this is a person that I really want
to get to know".
Your crush is going to say "Yeah, you're a little too much for me, just kind of stay
back".
I feel like I want to say this with claps in between each word but basically, YOUR CRUSH
DOESN'T OWE YOU AN EXPLANATION.
That just felt weird...
Your crush doesn't owe you an explanation if they rejected you once in the past it was
because they didn't feel a deep connection with you and that's simply it.
They don't have to explain away their feelings or really give you a solid detailed reason
as to why they just didn't want to go out with you.
And I know, it's incredibly frustrating to not know why.
To not know why they just didn't like you.
To not know why they didn't respond to you when you sent them a message.
But some things you just have to let go if you want to work towards a better future with
them.
You have to recognize that they're a person with their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
Until you can kind of see that for what it is, you're only going to be focused on your
own.
Maybe at the time, they wanted to focus more on schoolwork and didn't really want to pursue
any romantic relationships.
Or maybe it was just as simple as you said something or did something that completely
turned them off.
Or maybe it's that rumors or flying around and they believe them and they think you're
just really not the person that you actually are.
Either way, the whole point is this that they have their own perspective of the situation
and it's not your job to force them to teach you it.
Developing the ability to let go is going to be one of your strongest attributes.
Now yes, there will be times where it's important for you to follow up and ask questions and
to ask them "why did you say this?" or "why did you do this?".
But, you need to remember that if you're trying to get that second chance with your crush
at the beginning is not the right time.
The third thing that you need to know about getting a second chance with your crush is
that you want to avoid making the same mistake you made the first time around that ruined
your chances.
I'm talking about things like clinginess, jealousy, lack of confidence, or trying to
be a class clown to make everyone laugh all the time.
These are things that are going to prevent your crush from being open, honest and vulnerable
around you.
They're gonna feel like they can't really be themselves because you're more focused
on what you're dealing with and not really focused on creating an engaging experience
with them.
Hold on though, I'm not trying to bash you if you're dealing with your own personal struggles
and challenges.
Being jealous of your crush talking to someone else or just feeling a lack of confidence
and insecurity because you don't feel like you're up to par or on their level are real
things you may be dealing with.
I seriously want you to know that it doesn't make you any less of a person or any less
deserving of love and kindness simply because you are dealing with these struggles and challenges.
Every one of us has our own battles that we need to overcome so I think it's important
for you to talk about what you're going through, to process those feelings so they don't interfere
with your second chance and your second opportunity you're trying to build with your crush.
And the best way to do that is to really be honest with yourself by really reflecting
on your interactions.
Maybe, for example, you approach different crushes and you're constantly getting rejected
and you feel like every single person I'm talking to is the problem.
Well, maybe it's the way that you're speaking to them or how you approach them or how often
you talk to them.
Really reflect on your own behavior because it's the only way that you're going to learn
and grow.
And the fourth thing you need to know when it comes to convincing your crush to give
you a second chance is that no matter how much you work on yourself, no matter how much
you improve and become your best self, there's no guarantee that they actually are gonna
wanna go out with you.
I know that's a real *uhh* punch in the gut there but it's true.
At the end of the day, if your crush doesn't want to go out with you, you can't force them
to do anything that they don't feel comfortable with.
And you have to be able to come to terms with the fact that no matter how much work you
put in, it's not always gonna pay off like you want it to.
But it's not fair!
I do so much for them.
I talk to them all the time, I buy them things, I check up on them, I send them cute romantic
messages.
Why won't they like me back?
If you're feeling that way right now and you're incredibly frustrated, let's take a step back
and breathe for a moment.
Close your eyes, let's do this together.
Close your eyes for a second, now take a deep breath.
Hold it in, and let it out.
Ok, now we can proceed with trying to figure out how to handle this situation.
If you're doing everything right and it's just not working out, you have to remember
that any relationship worth having is built on the foundation of two people they genuinely
want to get to know each other better, that genuinely feel ok being vulnerable and honest
and open and generally are attracted to each other in some kind of way.
And as much as you feel you can fulfill that entire criteria for them, they don't feel
that exact same way and that might be the reason they rejected you the first time around.
They just didn't feel that deep spark or connection.
And I know you might be thinking, ok they rejected me twice.
Now what do I have to do, what do I have to fix so I can get a third chance with them.
But, I think if you're aiming for a third chance it's time to let go.
And letting go of your crush doesn't mean that you're unworthy or unloveable or that
you failed in any kind of way.
Sometimes people just don't connect and it's important for you to kind of just put yourself
out there more, to interact with more people to find people that you do deeply connect
with.
Getting over your crush is not an easy thing to do, especially when you feel like you've
invested so much time and energy into this one person but it is possible.
In fact, I break down how to do it in this video over here so I think you should go check
it out.
Also, this Thursday I'm going to be livestreaming and sharing exactly why giving up on your
crush is sometimes the best thing you can do.
You can check out the video over here once I post it, but join me on Thursday for the
livestream and on that note guys, I'll catch you next time.
As always, love and peace.