hey Dan here and we have another askdan question coming from Germany today now
before I get into the question a little housekeeping if you do want to send me
in a question the best way to do it is through my website you'll see a tab
right at the top there in the menu called a Stan and submit the question
that way I love you guys but I get questions sent
on YouTube messages which I didn't even know was a thing until recently I get
questions sent on my Facebook page and all over the place so I eventually see
those but sometimes I don't see them for weeks or months so if you really want to
send something through a Stannah on the website now let's get to this question I
am Sasha from Germany and I've just seen your YouTube video about how to succeed
in your business or career that's a video for ENFP link but this isn't the
topic I felt like writing your vote I just discovered myself to be a true mix
of ENFP and INTP and I'm wondering if you have ever dated an INFP girl me
dating ever no never I'm asking what I'm asking because I got
to know an INFP girl at a party two weeks ago and I'm a hundred percent sure
we both felt a deep connection out of the blue a couple more things he had her
take the test and which of course an INFP would would love and let's see so
then he's mentioning some traits oh but would confused me if she was extremely
extroverted social behavior in a group of seminary people maybe she is acting
very outgoing all the time to prevent going inside her head or do you think
this could be another explanation for such kinds of rest restlessness for an
INFP do you have some other tips with how to deal with infps especially an
INFP girl that shows interest in me thank you for your answer or perhaps you
could make a video about this topic which is what I'm doing so my first
thought I'm going to get into I know fees and I do have some experience in
terms of dating with infps as well just not that my personal experience
necessarily matters but one of the things that jumps out on me here and I
know it's funny coming from the guy who makes videos about personality type and
all that right I should really encourage you to be
obsessed with it but I got to say don't be so obsessed with it
that we you know there's more to personality type that I purely relied on
the personality type in terms of who I was dating I would not be with my
partner right now now you might have seen a video I filmed about eight months
ago about how I'm an ENFP also dating an ENFP which is not something recommended
in general like in the literature and it's an awesome relationship and it
still is and so there is something to be said with a compatibility and at the end
of the video I'll mention a compatibility chart I have like there's
certain types that are not a good fit and there's certain types of are good
fit but as long as you're sort of within that realm you don't have to overthink
it so much right so I'm all for testing your friends and people you're dating
tell them about my videos my books awesome but don't necessarily overthink
all this sometimes the myers-briggs for all the benefits it has it can also end
up creating these limiting beliefs and I've also found where I've tried to
force things with someone that was the perfect compatibility type and it just
it really wasn't actually the right fit but it was like well my rig said we
should have a romantic spark so let's try it out so an ENFP and an INFP
well one reason that you probably feel this connection it makes total sense is
NF is an infps or both very intuitive people and we both interact with the
world through our emotions in one way or the other right we do it differently but
and basically we experience life through intuition and emotion and we're both
idealist as well so like falling in love and fairytales and all that is is
relatively appealing to us present company included and so I can definitely
understand that sort of deep connection right away it makes total sense
my advice in terms of an INFP and this is definitely coming from my
own experience as an ENFP we can be quite over the top sometimes and
sometimes we say things we don't follow through it sometimes often maybe and so
from the female point of view an ENFP guy can often come off as like a liar
you know he said he felt this he just wanted to
get me into bed and that's not actually what the guy is experiencing the guy is
like feeling those emotions in the moment and then if changes or something
shifts or whatever it is infps tend to be and this is more coming
from my own dating experience not from me as the professional who writes books
or whatever keep that in mind in my experience in dating that infps tend to
be fairly sensitive and slow to open themselves up and so if they do open
themselves up to you I you as an ENFP have a bit of a responsibility to be
responsible you know to follow up their on your word to you know be aware of the
of her feelings I'm sure this can happen the other way as well you know
male-female reversing that all around in that but being really yeah sensitive of
their feelings because for you what might be easy to sort of open up and put
yourself out there and fall for someone might not be nearly so easy for them and
so you might find in a situation where there is the risk of kind of over
promising or losing interest quickly and potentially hurting someone not that
that happened in my past or anything but that is something I would include there
the other thing I would say is part of your question you were asking about how
she would have such extroverted social behavior right if she was an INFP
and this goes back to my point about don't overthink the types too too much
because there's more than just your type that plays into this right confidence
plays a big role confidence and anxiety but anxiety is very much related to
confidence some of my early books are on this topic and there's a big interplay
between basically your belief in yourself and then feeling anxiety right
because if you feel really confident in your ability to handle a situation it's
less likely you'll feel anxious so you can have many cases like apparently from
the general typing like jay-z and Arnold Schwarzenegger are INTJs well these are
not people that you would probably see at an event and think wow that's like a
shy introvert right because they have a lot of confidence they have a lot of
Drive and they've learned how to handle themselves in social
situations and all that so you can have an extroverted type who may be more shy
in social situations because of some insecurities or because of anxiety and
you can also have it where you'll have someone who is maybe an introverted type
but it doesn't mean that when they're with friends and stuff they can't be
like loud and telling stories and all that as well it's just more of a where
they get their energy from so one of the key ways to tell whether you're truly an
introvert or extrovert it's not whether you like people because most people like
people or that but it's how you get your energy so as a extrovert usually you
need to be around people that energizes you right if you stay home for two or
three days and you're an extrovert you'll get really down and you're like I
need people where introverts tend to find social social situations more
overwhelming sorry I shouldn't say overwhelming but tiring so I have some
friends here good friends of mine they're a couple and they're both
introverts I'm I mean I haven't had them do the test but I'm 99% sure and if
there's like a big party they will come out to be polite to sort of meet
everyone but they'll maybe spend an hour and then
go because it's just not like a great environment for them but they love to
organize like small dinners for friends or see friends and all that you're not
opposed to like hanging out talking and all that day they love that it's just
about the kind of social event and that as well
so I don't know if that answers your question but I don't necessarily you
know depending on the social environment it doesn't necessarily say too much
about type but again the thing I will leave you on is regardless of exactly
you know where she falls on the type there's a little more to that I found in
my own case in a relationship with another ENFP which there are some
challenges sometimes but being like learning to be more mature and kind of
think things through of just acknowledging our strengths and our
weaknesses and then appreciating each other for who we are has been really
powerful so if you find that you and Miss INFP here have have a connection
and it keeps going and growing keep that in mind of accepting the other person
for who they are and really what I found helpful is taking time
to be grateful for the other person like think about all the amazing traits they
have and then when some of them may be frustrating traits come up it's not
going to bug you as much because you've sort of built up that buffer of like all
the great things about that person so I did mention that I have a compatibility
chart I'll share with you this is something that I'm just putting up here
so if you'd like it I'll put a link here and you'll be able to get this
compatibility chart which will show you like all the 16 types and who's sort of
a red zone like never date who like it could possibly be a good fit and who
like you could be a great match with but again it's not a hundred percent
so sometimes trust your heart as well and with that you'll also get a
five-part email training which is all about how to use your personality type
and your knowledge of your personality type to create the most awesome life for
you and again that's all free and there'll be the link popping up or it's
already popped up I think it's this side but I always miss it's this one of these
sides you're going to see a link okay come on you're good at computers you can
do it alright catch you another video soon subscribe to the channel love you
guys awesome