FAMILIES, AND FOCUSES ON THE COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGE ON THIS WEEK'S ONE-TO-ONE.
>> YOU KNOW JOHN, IN
RELATIONSHIP, YOU KNOW TERI AND
I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 23
YEARS.
AND THERE IS A DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN OBVIOUSLY THE WAY THAT
GUYS GO AND THE WOMEN GO
RELATIONSHIP WISE.
WHAT ARE THOSE AREAS THAT WE
NEED TO PAY ATTENTION TO?
>> THAT'S A GREAT QUESTION, ONE
OF THE THINGS, I OFTEN MENTION
THAT TOGETHER PITTSBURGH IS FOR
COUPLES THAT HAVE BEEN MARRIED A
LONG TIME OR WANTING TO GET
MARRIED.
BECAUSE WE ARE DYNAMIC BEINGS
AND WE ARE CONSTANTLY GROWING
AND CHANGING.
AND YOU OPENED THE SENTENCE
SAYING THAT WE HAVE BEEN
TOGETHER FOR A LONG TIME.
AND I HEAR THAT A LOT, THAT
COUPLES SAY THAT THEY HAVE BEEN
TOGETHER SO LONG THAT THEY
FINISH EACH OTHER SENTENCES.
IT'S CUTE BUT IT CAN BE
PROBLEMATIC BECAUSE WHAT IT
SUGGESTS THEY DON'T HAVE TO PAY
ATTENTION AND LISTEN.
I SAY THAT BECAUSE A PLACE OF
CONTENTION IS COMMUNICATION.
WHEN COUPLES ARE NOT
COMMUNICATING IT MAY SHOW UP IN
OTHER AREAS.
THEY MAY NOT BE COMMUNICATING
BUT IT SHOWS IN THE BEDROOM OR
FINANCES.
A LOT OF PROBLEMS IN MARRIAGE IS
WHEN COUPLES ARE NOT
COMMUNICATING WELL.
>> WHEN YOU SAY COMMUNICATE,
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?
>> I AM SAYING COUPLES THAT TRY
TO CONNECT WITH ONE ANOTHER LIKE
THEY DID WHEN THEY INITIALLY GOT
WITH ONE ANOTHER.
IT'S AMAZING HOW INTERESTED WE
WERE IN COMMUNICATING WITH OUR
SPOUSE MOONS AGO.
I HAVE BEEN MARRIED 23 YEARS AND
I STAYED UP NIGHTS TUNING IN
THIS WONDERFUL LADY THAT I
WANTED HER TO BE INTERESTED IN
ME.
BUT IT'S INTERESTING, WE HAVE
BEEN TOGETHER 23 YEARS AND I
FIND MYSELF NOT TUNING IN.
WHEN I SAY WE ARE NOT CONNECTING
AS MUCH ANYMORE SO I HAVE TO BE
INTENTIONAL ABOUT COMMUNICATION.
JUST BASIC STUFF ABOUT
COMMUNICATION.
IT'S SAID THAT MEN AND WOMEN
COMMUNICATE DIFFERENTLY.
THAT MEANS MEN GENERALLY TALK
SHOULDER TO SHOULDER, AND WOMEN
GENERALLY TALK FACE TO FACE.
ON CHURCH ON SUNDAY, YOU WILL
SEE WOMEN STANDING IN FRONT OF
EACH OTHER AND CONNECTING FACE
TO FACE.
GUYS WE DON'T NECESSARILY DO
THAT, WE TALK SHOULDER TO
SHOULDER.
>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHOULDER TO
SHOULDER?
>> LIKE WE ARE SITTING HERE.
>> AND WOMEN ARE MORE LIKE THAT?
>> THEY WILL BE FACE TO FACE.
IF YOU NOTICE TWO MEN WHO
APPEARED FACE TO FACE, SOMEBODY
WILL USUALLY BREAK THAT FACE TO
FACE, BECAUSE IT MEANS
CONFRONTATION AND IT'S
INTERESTING.
WE NEED SHOULDER TO SHOULDER
COMMUNICATION.
AND WHAT DO I MEAN BY THAT?
PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES WANT TO GO
BACK IN THE GAME NOT BECAUSE
THEY MISSED THE MONEY OR FAME
AND FORTUNE, THEY MISS THE
LOCKER ROOM.
A PLACE TO GET THAT SHOULDER TO
SHOULDER COMMUNICATION.
GUYS GO BACK TO WAR MAYBE NOT TO
FIGHT OR THAT THEY LOVE THEIR
COUNTRY THAT MUCH.
THEY CAN'T FIND THAT SHOULDER TO
SHOULDER ANYWHERE ELSE AND GO
BACK.
>> INTERESTING.
>> MEN GENERALLY COMMUNICATE
SHOULDER TO SHOULDER AND WOMEN
FACE TO FACE.
AND WHAT IS INTERESTING, WE NEED
THAT COMMUNICATION.
I NEED SHOULDER TO SHOULDER AND
SHE NEEDS FACE TO FACE.
>> DO YOU NEED FACE TO FACE?
>> YEAH.
>> DO MEN NEED THAT?
>> THE BIBLE INSTRUCTS A MAN TO
LOVE HIS WIFE.
BUT IT THEN INSTRUCTS A WOMAN TO
RESPECT HER HUSBAND.
I THINK THE WHOLE SHOULDER TO
SHOULDER THING IS A MEANS OF
RESPECT.
AND THE FACE TO FACE THING HAS
TO DO WITH THIS NEED FOR
INTIMATE LOVE.
ALSO DO I NEED FACE TO FACE?
I THINK I DO BUT NOT AT THE
CAPACITY WHICH MY WIFE NEEDS IT.
>> AT A DIFFERENT LEVEL.
>> DIFFERENT LEVEL.
>> THAT'S INSIGHTFUL FOR MEN TO
REALIZE THAT THE WAY WE ARE
WIRED IS TO BE MORE IN
RELATIONSHIP, OUTWARD FACING.
AND WOMEN MORE INWARD FACING IN
A RELATIONSHIP.
SO FOR A MAN AND WOMAN TO HAVE A
GOOD COMMUNICATION TOGETHER THEY
BOTH NEED TO KNOW THAT ABOUT
EACH OTHER.
>> IF YOU WANT TO GET YOUR BEST
STUFF, YOUR BEST GOODS OUT OF
YOUR WIFE, GIVE HER FACE-TO-FACE
TIME.
JUST TIME FACE TO FACE AND
TALKING TO HER AND HEARING HER
AND REALLY SOAKING IN WHAT SHE'S
SAY
SAYING.
SAY SAYING. IF SHE WANTS TO GET THE BEST
GOODS OUT OF YOU, COME ALONGSIDE
YOU AND LET YOU KNOW THAT SHE'S
ON YOUR SIDE.
IT CHARGES OUR BATTERIES AND
THEIR BATTERIES WHEN WE GIVE
FACE TO FACE.
>> THAT'S PRACTICAL ADVICE WITH
SPIRITUAL FOUNDATION, THAT'S
WHAT WE NEED FROM YOU.
COME BACK AND GIVE US MORE.
>>