In my series on Jungian psychology we've seen that the major concerns of adulthood stem
from a mismatch between expectation and reality.
Today I further elaborate on this adding in solutions.
The following thoughts which I've found to be quite insightful I portray as a review
of a brief segment of "Jordan Peterson's 12 rules for life".
So you're out on the selfsame monday morning, heading to work, this time your heart misses
a beat, your system collapses.
In a fraction of a second, the persons you've always expected them keep existing, are gone.
Or maybe after years of a seemingly perfect marriage that you've invested your soul into,
you're gifted a betrayel.
Chaos is the second element of the dual nature that holds the structure of existence.
The first is "Order", everyone's buddy, in our modern times especially, needless of introduction.
Chaos in a sense, is all the shit you don't want happening ; the unexpected, the unknown,
the far future.
It is what shoves you in that loop of victimization of "what the hell just happened, why me, why
now?".
People go about their lives all the while repressing this element at the back of their
heads.
An unconscious motive to maintain a false sense of perpetual security.
In all matters it's more comforting to see just the light side.
Point out one person who want their leg be broken at this very moment.
To anticipate the best is pretty useful.
You cannot be functional unless you've got some hope.
The key here is to take this little bit of hope you have and stick to it a percentage
of dispair, at least hypothetically.
Though everything appears to be running smoothly, it's practical to keep that 1% of doubt.
So, what's the matter here?
Simply, anticipate the darkening of clouds when they are white, the failure of a business
if it's flourishing, and the ending of a friendship when it's been going well.
Those aweful events may or may not occur.
Either or, the wisest prime themselves beforehand.
This applies especially to your dealing with those whom you deem the closest.
So often that others are changing for the worst, or start treating us badly, but the
good emotions they emanate can flood our cognition, we disregard.
You are the dumbest when you're the happiest.
This sort of mental preparation of doubting beyond the positives keeps you grounded in
reality, so to be alert and judge strictly whenever anyone deviates.
Understand that when chaos has not shown its horns for a while, it only signals an upcoming
whirl storm.
Life will lift you up and break you down alternately, it's just how things are.
Acknowledge chaos, be realistic.
Stick one percent of doubt to all aspects of life.
Acceptance of chaos is half the battle.
In fact it is unease which comes in to play the moment you try to swallow such a hard
pill.
The second half is begin to navigate existence in this new lense; now no longer are you tossed
about among the two sides of the pendulum; learn to alternate between an ordered and
chaotic psychological mode of operating rather consciously.
From a practical point, try the following :
Anytime you feel you're getting a bit more comfortable, things are going well, pause
to reflect.
In this introspection the goal is to notice if you had formed any kind of future expectation,
particularly related to a major aspect in which you feel you need it to go a certain
way.
Write it down.
Write a counterthought, your plan B if things go south.
Do so for each expectation you have (be it about the lasting of a relationship, a job,
something).
Often will you sense enormous resistance.
You just want things to go your way, it's fine.
It comes natural to the mind to beautify chaos.
Sometimes its necessary to release a strong emotion to come to accept an alternate vision
of what might happen.
Let it all come up.
Cry, hit the way, whatever, let it out.
You can do the same exercise for negative anticipations as well, but I'd say the mind
rarely works to cause itself imbalance.
Often and spontaneously that negatives are recycled in a new light.
Even if unrealistic, the psyche strives for psychological stability at all costs--backwards
rationalization.
Now go about your life and regularly remind yourself of your counterthoughts.
It might be necessary to go through an emotional release everytime you do so.
By doing this basically you're bringing disorder to daily ordered thoughts.
You see the primal human would get eaten at any moment so he had to live in that doubtful,
anxious state most of the time.
In times of rest he had to exert conscious effort to convince himself of the safety of
his current surrdoundings.
For the order part, you don't have to be as intentful to get the same effect, or to stagnate
on purpose although you can.
You're lucky, simply trust your modern, logical human mind it will eventually work out a thought
loop that puts everything in line.
The trick is to shove some doubt in that loop, purify unrealistic anticipations.
Until you accept that the future might not be in your favor, you are still craving an
outcome.
Let go of it now.
It'll hit harder if you wait until your dissapointment.
You've enslaved yourself somehow to a fantasy.
It keeps on running your day to day, manifested in subtle behavioral patterns.
For instance, people might feel like you need something from them, and are subconsciously
repulsed, all because of some future expectation you're holding them up to, in your head.
Remember that this is just of a small portion of the 12 rules of life.
For those who've already gone through the book you may notice that I might have added
some of my personal thoughts and examples to the concepts, like the exercise on expectations,
so I consider this video more of a review than a summary.
This is mostly the case in all my videos except for the Jungian series.
Thanks for watching.