- Oh my god,
exams are the worst.
JK, I'm 27.
The only exam I take is trying to like wing my eyeliner.
What up, everyone.
It's your girl, Superwoman.
And so many of you have tweeted me, being like:
Oh my god, we're currently studying for exams,
which is a great indication that you're actually
not studying at all.
But don't worry, I get it, okay.
Exams suck.
And they don't even suck well, okay.
Exams are like those vacuums that don't do the
one job they were designed to do.
So there's a piece of lint, and you're just like,
vacuuming over it, and over it,
and over it,
instead of just refusing to pick up the piece of lint.
Exams are like that sucky vacuum.
You know what, I'm sorry.
Yesterday, my vacuum broke,
and now that piece of lint is there,
and I have no idea how to get rid of that
single piece of lint.
Anyways, exams,
they're annoying.
Here's why:
First of all, while writing an exam,
the room is full of distractions.
People sneezing,
people coughing,
people sniffling.
Is this an exam, or is this a doctor's appointment?
Wait, then, don't people have doctors' appointments
in examination rooms?
Who writes these jokes?
Knew I should have made a challenge video.
For my personally, the most distracting thing
during an exam is those people who twirl their pens.
I'm not talking about the basic twirling,
I'm talking about twirling three point oh.
See this.
I'm not talking about this.
This is easy. Anyone can do this.
Also, I just wanted to show you that I could do this
and show off.
Look at me. Look at this.
Look at what I can do.
I'm talking about people that can do the back flip,
three-fifty, mega, behind the thumb, twirl with their pen.
How are you doing that?
I'm over here trying to write my exam,
but I can't because, you know why?
Because I'm mesmerized by the aerodynamics of your pen.
How is anyone focusing?
Do you not see?
Harry Potter is basically sitting up in this physics class.
I'm supposed to sit over here and get an A on this test
when you've got Cirque Du Soliel all up on your finger?
I am distracted.
And now once I get over the pen Olympics,
I look down at my test,
and I am introduced to a new annoyance,
and its name is multiple choice.
And I know what you're thinking,
multiple choice.
They are basically giving you the answer. Easy.
No, multiple choice is like flapping bird.
It seems easy, but really,
it will be the death of you.
Four options. Too easy.
Let me just do this math real quick.
One train traveling at 12 km an hour,
another train traveling at 70 km per hour,
let me just do some multiplication.
Let me divide.
Let me add and subtract.
The answer, 16.
Oh my god, I'm a math wiz.
I look down at the possible answers,
and I see 28.
Holland. Purple. Kiwi.
What the eff is this?
And then when my answer doesn't match
any of the other answers,
I do that thing where I convince myself of it.
Yeah, 16 is like pretty close to kiwi.
So I'm pretty sure it's kiwi.
You know what, actually, kiwi sounds right.
It's totally kiwi.
I probably forgot to carry one or something.
Kiwi.
And don't even get me started on these questions.
Maybe things have changed,
but I can imagine answering questions like that
in today's day and age.
You've got a train traveling 12 km an hour,
and then you've got another train traveling 70 km an hour.
At what point, do they both reach X.
My answer: Uber it.
So as I'm trying to figure out this train schedule,
all up in this test,
what do I see out of the corner of my eye?
A little mere flicker.
Is mothereffing Tim, getting up to hand in his exam.
What the eff?
We just started this test.
There are vines longer than it took you
to write this test, Tim.
And then you know what happens.
I start panicking.
I'm looking around.
What if I'm in some sort of time warp,
and it's been two hours,
but I feel like it's been five minutes.
Tim, you'd better sit yourself down boy, until I'm done.
Tim, I swear, you'd better out of these musical chairs,
and you'd better run to the nearest chair,
and take several seats.
In fact, I need you to sit down,
get back up, and then sit down again.
I don't play no games, Tim.
I just finished writing the date.
Don't do this to me, Tim.
Yo, Tim, what's the date?
So I continue writing this examination,
and then I reach the beloved true and false section.
Here's the thing.
Nothing makes a person more psychological and deep than
true and false on a test.
Question one
Photosynthesis is a process of turning sunlight into sugar.
Yeah, okay, true.
Question two
Sugar is converted into ATP.
Yeah, okay, true.
Question three.
Plants intake carbon dioxide and release oxygen.
Yeah, I think that's true.
Wait, three trues in a row?
That's a bit strange, isn't it?
Maybe one is false?
Or maybe that's what she wants me to think.
I'm onto your games.
Let's make them all true.
That'll throw them off.
No one would expect everything to be true.
Let me double check.
Photosynthesis is the process of
turning sunlight into sugar.
Sugar. Is that right?
Wait, what? I've never seen sugar on a plant.
I'm pretty sure that plants grow flowers.
Isn't it sunlight into flowers?
Say it out loud.
Photosynthesis is the process of turning
sunlight into sugar.
That sounds true.
But wait, does it sound true because it's my voice,
and I'm so trustworthy?
Say it as someone else.
Photosynthesis is the process of turning
sunlight into sugar.
Sugar. Nope, that's false.
I knew it was flowers.
And then I have to remind myself, Lily, you suck at science.
You're so much better at math.
Just shut up and answer this question.
You have a 40% chance of being right.
So then I'm writing this test,
but here's the thing, I spend half of my time
writing the test, and the other half,
trying to deal with the extreme betrayal
that my teacher has committed because none of this
ish was what she said was going to be on the test.
And I'm sitting there thinking,
when the eff did we learn this material?
Because let me just rewind to earlier last week,
flashback, like That's so Raven.
When Miss Kelly said, and I quote,
Girls and boys, you want to focus on trigonometry
for next week's test.
There's going to be a lot of trigonometry.
So what did I do, Miss Kelly?
I was all up on that trigonometry.
I was up all night with my Bae, Hypotenuse.
You already know those.
Sin, cosine, tangent.
That's the model baby YOLO.
So this morning, I walk into this establishment,
all confident.
You give me a test.
I'm all ready.
Question one. I'm like, let's do this right now.
It's 2 pm.
All right, where's Tom?
Who the eff is Tom, Miss Kelly?
And more importantly, where is his triangle?
Where the trig at?
You said there'd be trig.
I don't see no trig.
Because straight up, trig is acting like Beyonce
in that elevator.
Trig is absent.
Trig must be on Airplane Mode.
Trig must be Azalea Bank's Twitter,
because I don't see trig.
Trig must have sang the song Paper Planes,
because trig is MIA.
Trig must be at Hogwarts,
because trig is wearing an invisibility cloak.
Trig must be Miami in game seven,
because trig is gone.
Trig is the reason Justin Bieber asked to
Where are you Now?
Hold up. If trig was my father, I would have grown up
with a lack of male role model,
and then I would have had the tendency to get into
all these unhealthy relationships with
all these waste dudes.
Miss Kelly, where the trig at?
Where the trig at?
Lastly, exams are annoying,
because they are a reflection of my
poor time management skills.
I spent two hours on true and false, multiple choice.
There's ten minutes left on the test.
I turn to the last page, two essay questions.
Hello, now I'm writing this test as Lily,
featuring heart palpitations.
I'm just going to have to pull
ish out of my booty right now
Question. Explain the history of Rome.
Rome is a place.
It's old.
There's also a font named after Rome.
That's right.
Rome rhymes with cone.
Ice cream goes in cones.
Rome may or may not contain ice cream during the summer.
Also in addition to all of this,
the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.
References include 300, Gladiator,
and Roman Reins.
Can we be real for a second?
It doesn't matter which subjects you took in school,
everyone that went to school learned three things,
and three things only.
Number one: the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.
You know exactly what I'm talking about.
That little potato with the little barbed wire inside.
Number two: I before E, except after C.
Number three: That whole rule about I before E,
except after C is a lie.
Height. Beige. Foreign.
Neighbor. Protein.
Why you lying?
What you think? You would just make up some is rhyme,
and suddenly it's legit?
I don't think you know how many times
I've been embarrassed by this damn rule
and lost all my street cred.
Yo, Lily, how do you spell science?
Well, my good friend, it's I before E, except after C.
All right, cool, thanks.
No, wait, actually, it's S-C-I-E-N-C-E.
♫ Quit playing games with my heart.
♫ With my heart.
Honestly, don't make me play Lemonade on your English rules.
Yo, hope you enjoyed this video,
and if you did, you know what to do.
And if you don't know what to do, I'mma tell you.
You're the big thumbs up.
Comment below letting me know,
are you dealing with exams?
Are you not dealing with exams?
Are you an old geezer like me,
and you're like, exams? What are exams?
I used to walk to school with no shoes in the snow.
You can check out my last video right over there.
It's called Types of Commercials.
My second vlog channel is right there,
so make sure you subscribe to that.
And yo, subscribe to this channel,
because I make new videos every Monday and Thursday.
To all of you who are studying for exams,
work hard, hustle hard, make it count.
I believe in you.
Best of luck.
Also, if you haven't heard,
I released my own lipstick.
I'm just going to slide that in there.
Slide it.
All information for that is in the description.
Other than that, have a beautiful day,
and until next time,
one love, Super Woman.
That is a wrap, and zoop!
Where the trig at?