J: Hi! C: Hello!
J: So Claudia is in dire need of a haircut, she's decided.
She does have exceptionally long hair.
I think if it's got that far down past your boobs, it's time it gets cut.
C: Yeah. Unless you want to do, like, the, um....
What's that woman...? Avril- No.
J: Did you say Aril Lavigne? C: No!
C: Who's that singer who sings and she's naked and she's got her hair going down to-
J: Alanis Morissette. C: Yeah, Alanis Morissette.
J: Alanis Morissette C: It's getting a bit too Alanis
J: To be fair, both of those references were very old.
J: I'm sorry. C: Well, I'm 30 this year.
J: Oh my old lady! Awwww.
And we've decided that I'm gonna cut her hair.
I've never actually cut anyone's hair before
C: Apart from round a bowl, but we're not doing a bowl cut. Please?
J: We'll see! hahahaha
I love you. Please love me after this.
(Jessica on voiceover)
Claudia has very thickly textured hair, and a lot of it.
It's impossible to cut or manage when dry, so I'm going to be working with it wet.
She actually also only brushes her hair when it's wet.
We're pretending to be at the hairdressers, and talking about our holidays.
This is my new hair cutting kit from Boots, the chemist
It was under £10 so let's see if it was worth it
And now we're pretending to be Spanish.
Claudia likes her hair shorter at the front and longer at the back
So I'm gathering it into a ponytail to take the same amount off all over.
Putting extra bands around the hair makes it easier to manage
But equally, if you have very thin or limp hair, the bands will add some structure
Ha! Snip snip and the ratty ends are gone!
Now divide the hair into sections to unblunted the ends
Yes, I know that's not a word.
Soften? Unblunten? You know what I'm talking about
Porbably don't kiss random clients, just your wife
Take the hair out of the ponytail and brush it out
to see where the hair falls and where you'll need to cut more from.
There will always be random long bits that manage to escape
like this bit on the left. What is this?
Sitting your subject, er, client, on a chair with a straight back
is a great way of checking the cut.
This is obviously still too angled, so back to cutting....
Her hair's drying already so I gave it some extra spritzes with the water spray
This is the bottle I use for our orchids but it is just plain water, I promise
Right, we're aiming for a good angle from the shorter front to the longer back
so go straight in. Be brave, but remember to check that the sides are even.
Finish off with a fringe
No-one likes a big clumpy bit at the front
so angle, and then get back in there to feather slightly
Slightly. This is not the 1970's.
And we're done
Next, let your client have a look in the mirror while you do a dance with some scissors
Fine. Kidding. Definitely don't dance with scissors even if it looks cool
And finally, clean up the mess while she dries her own hair because she's picky like that
C: Nice! I like it. J: Excellent. Are you impressed?
C: I am. J: Am I allowed to cut your hair again?
C: Yeah. I was just thinking, why have I spent all this money on getting my hair cut
over the years when I could just get you to do it?
Another perk of being- J: A lesbian
C: Well, yeah, but men can cut hair
J: Well you ruined that! C: I know
C: You wanna see the back? J: Oooh!
J: (whispers) Beautiful!
C: Good. Very happy.
Very good, my love. And it's not too short. It's still basically long hair.
J: It's still long hair it's just not excessively long hair C: It's just not- It's just not-
C: It's not ridiculous like what you said, tumblr long hair, with the, like, dip-dye ends.
J: I'm quite attracted to tumblr girls to be fair
C: Now it just feels lighter and more healthy
J: Yeah it's definitely healthier C: Yeah, those bits were getting a bit straggly and dry
C: Thank you very much, wife. J: You're welcome, wife.
C: Do you want me to cut your hair? J: No, wife.
C: Okay.