Have you ever seen a narcissist cry?.
Why do you think they do that?. Depending on the type of narcissist you're dealing with,
you may never have seen it in person,
but I'm willing to bet that if you've ever been married to a narcissist or have had a narcissist parent or even a narcissist friend,
you've probably seen the tears or at least some version of them.
Why do narcissists cry and what about the ones who don't cry?, that's what we're talking about today at QueenBeeing.com).
So let's get started. (Closed captioning provided by Athena Moberg and CPTSDfoundation.org). My name is Angie Atkinson and on this channel,
I offer free, daily video coaching to help you discover understand and overcome
narcissistic abuse and toxic relationships. I like to call it toxic relationship rehab. So if that sounds good to you,
hit that Subscribe button and let's get going. So let's just jump right in here.
Why do narcissists cry?, what's that all about?. Well, besides the obvious - they're trying to get attention or maybe they're really sad about something,
there are a few reasons.
Let's just jump in right here.
If you've been in any sort of real intimate or close relationship with a narcissist,
you might have seen the tears once or twice.
They cry, but they don't actually produce tears, I've ever seen that. They'll definitely shed real tears when it's convenient for them or
if they've been hurt or denied by a supply. If the situation calls for crying,
but they don't have the tears, they will pretend to cry with everyone else. Like say somebody in the family dies or something like that,
they will often cover their faces so that you can't see that their eyes are dry,
but if you know them well
you'll know. A lot of my clients tell me they feel really confused,
because they know that they're dealing with a narcissist until the moment that they say to the narcissist
you know what?, I'm gonna leave and then the narcissist begins to cry.
How is it possible that someone who was just so evil to you even moments before, is suddenly in tears.
Sadly it has more to do with them than you, so that's why the first thing to remember is that narcissists cry for themselves.
They don't cry for you. Narcissists also cry for special attention,
narcissists love to get attention through being a victim. Being a victim gives
everyone
around them a reason to feel sorry for them, a reason to help them, a reason to support them, a reason to give them good
old
narcissistic supply. This can be done in a number of ways. Again, they might get attention through
soothing or sympathy or people might do things for them out of pity or give them more attention or time,
but let's talk about a few more reasons that narcissists might be crying.
We're gonna start with the first example that I gave in this video and that is,
narcissists cry when you're ready to leave and they do that because they know that if you leave,
you are not going to be there to give them narcissistic supply anymore. It's not because they love you, at least they don't
love you the same way you love them and it's not because if they lose you, they'll stay the horrible person
they are or they won't be as good of a person as they are with you,
it's because they're going to lose their source of narcissistic supply.
The next reason that narcissists cry is because of narcissistic injury and a lot of times this happens
when you've said something, like you're abusive or you've said something, like you really hurt my feelings and they feel very
offended by the idea that you have the right to say to them that they're abusive and so they tell you that you're a horrible
person for that, they make you feel bad about it, they flip the script as it were, they do the narcissistic flip on you.
I think it's really important to remember that they're not doing this because they feel bad for what they did and they want to fix
something, they're not apologizing. They're just angry and hurt because you had the nerve to tell them they were being abusive.
Another reason narcissists cry is because of other people's drama,
maybe this has something to do with the television show or maybe some longlost relative
they don't really know or a friend from high school had a trauma and so they need to have some part in it.
It's about making everything about themselves - And this brings me to my next point when they go to
funerals or wakes or anything like that, where people are mourning the death of someone else,
they are the one making the biggest scene, crying the loudest, they are the ones getting supply in the form of either
sympathy or attention or even being walked out and it's never because they really, really love that person,
it's never because they don't know how they're gonna function without them,
except maybe their supply, but it's always because they want the attention from the people who are in the room with them.
I'm not saying a narcissist can't be genuinely sad when someone passes away,
what I'm saying is their sadness is for themselves and what they've lost from that person - the supply they lose and I'm also saying that
in some cases narcissists will attend things like funerals just to get attention from other people,
even if they didn't know that person very well.
You will see this on Facebook as well, people who put out statuses about, Oh my third grade teacher just passed away
and now I just I'm devastated. I don't know how I'm gonna go on. Then when you say, oh, were you still close?.
They'll say well, you know, sort of, we were Facebook friends or whatever.
They don't have any legitimate claim to the grief, which sounds very weird, but there it is.
A narcissist is completely self-absorbed.
This means that ego rules the narcissist life on a supreme and definite level, because of this,
anything that gets the narcissist going is whatever fuels the narcissists ego,
of course ego prefers pleasure and gain,
but what you don't recognize is that in some cases,
in most cases with
narcissists, this either comes from one of two ways of feeding the ego and that is either to make everything more amazing that it really
is or to make everything seem a lot worse. This is when they jump into that victim role,
this is the hard part. A lot of people recognize
arrogance in a person, they see it that way, but at the same time what they don't see is that
ego is involved when it comes to being a victim and when we're talking about a narcissist we can be really fooled by this,
because we have compassion and kindness like most human beings do. So we will see them feeling pain,
we will jump to their aid. We know that by nature,
we are designed to help other people.
Infact, nine times out of ten, the most powerful thing
you can say to an empath is I need your help, because they're going to be driven by
something inside of themselves to help and it's just our nature to do that and often to our own detriment,
but what we don't see is that we are shamed by the narcissist because we never do enough for them,
even if we do everything for them,
it's so easy for them to manipulate us, because we respond from our hearts, we don't respond from our ego like they do.
So the narcissist hides behind this and they play the victim and they act like they've been just
ruined or whatever and then you are shamed by your own mind
into feeling that they're suffering more than you, so they'll say you don't care about me,
you don't love me, you haven't done anything for me
and since you
feel that you see that happening,
you think that they need help and really what you're doing is you're giving their ego the control and the attention and the power that
they want. Of course the narcissist soaks it all up, enjoys the attention,enjoys the control and for many toxic
narcissists, their situation is always right, no matter what it's completely justified
and so they don't take responsibility for themselves or the consequences of their actions,
they try to make other people feel sorry for them
and for all the horrible things that they've put themselves into and because narcissists tend to be so good at manipulation,
they will always find a way to turn the tables on you.
They will try to make you feel like you're
responsible and you should feel guilty for not helping them or not doing what they think you need to do or saying what they
want you to say or taking their side or whatever. Then they shift gears.
some narcissists will go from being
obviously grandiose to acting like they're just better than other people,because they suffer more than other people. Have you seen these types?
They'll always want to be the center stage. They'll always want credit from their achievements or your achievements or their neighbor's achievements.
They're always looking to get recognition and praise and anything they can and yes
they will definitely
milk it, they'll push it, they'll carry as long as they can, any burden that other people will feel sorry for them about. Some
narcissists are always on the prowl, looking for people to feel sorry for them. Remember the moment
they think that you're not going to cooperate with them and act like you just have the most utmost
concern for them, serve them, pamper them, they're gonna take you off their list of narcissistic supply
and of course at that point they may start to badmouth you or gossip about you or you know,
smear campaign you, because you're so selfish and unloving and you don't care about anybody and you've seen it over and over right?.
When you run into a narcissist crying, you have to do this one thing
don't act like it's the end of the world, be as polite as you can. Say
I'm sorry you're in pain, recognize the pain if you must, but don't be pulled into it. You will be in a web of
manipulation that you will never get out of, so definitely recognize a crying narcissist as a manipulating narcissist. Step away
take a deep breath and keep moving. Grey rock is your best bet here.
But what if your narcissist doesn't cry, does that mean that they're less manipulative than one who does?. No. In many cases,
certain narcissists are unlikely to cry at all and you will either see only the fake tears from them or you
see no tears at all, but it's rare, even the most extreme narcissists have been known to cry.
So if one never cries or never fakes crying, what are you dealing with?, is it a narcissist?.
Well,
maybe. You have to remember that probably nobody fits every diagnostic criteria of every single
disorder out there and if your narcissist isn't crying in front of you, it just means they haven't used that particular
manipulation technique yet. So what do you think about all that?.
Do you think that narcissist cry for those reasons or do you think there are other reasons they cry or some combination of that?.
That's the question of the day.
The question of the day is; Why do you think narcissist cry and what would you add to my list?.
Share your thoughts, share your ideas, share your experiences in the comments section below and let's talk about it. Really quickly,
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sincerely.
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