Hey there, Adam LoDolce here from sexyconfidence.com where I help the 21st century woman create
a love life that she absolutely loves.
In this video right now, I'm going to talk about the five reasons why you might get emotionally
attached a little bit too soon.
Keep watching.
Now we've all had times in our lives when we're just vulnerable and we get attached
to soon in a relationship.
If you're finding that this is consistent pattern in your life, you may want to take
a deeper look at what's going on.
Unless you're able to understand the patterns in your love life, then it will be impossible
to break them.
So in this video I'm going to dive deep into the five reasons why you might get emotionally
attached, and emotionally drawn in a little bit too quickly, and a little bit too intensely.
Number one is that you've dealt with abandonment in your own childhood.
Now maybe you had a parent, a mother or father who just wasn't really there when you needed
that person during those really important moments in childhood where that person should
have been there.
Maybe it was that soccer game where you scored that goal, and you looked over there, and
your parents weren't there, or you graduated from high school and they didn't even attempt
to even come.
If you dealt with abandonment during your childhood you're going to generally have more
of a tendency to want to pull people towards you, and be fearful to let them go.
Worse off, you'll have a tendency to seek men where you can recreate those childhood
moments, even if you don't know that you're doing it.
You'll subconsciously be attracting men who don't give you themselves fully.
When a guy does give himself to you fully, you'll actually lose interest very quickly.
As time goes on in the relationship, you'll constantly be seeking the guy's approval,
and become dependent on that approval.
You'll begin to feed off of it.
So if this is you, then I need you to realize this.
You are no longer a helpless child.
You're an adult who can make decisions for herself.
Whatever has happened to you in the past doesn't mean it has to happen in the future.
You can now open your heart to men that also want to be with you at the same time.
Realize during those first few months of being in a relationship, you need to make sure you
give enough distance and don't allow yourself to just dive in at a fear of losing that person.
Number two reason is that you might get distracted by the shiny object qualities in a man that
don't really matter in the long run.
Now something I've realized over the years of being a dating coach is the thing that
attracts you to someone in the first place is unlikely to be the thing that makes the
relationship better.
Sometimes that very thing that you were attracted to in the relationship is actually what makes
the relationship very difficult.
For example, let's say you meet this great guy.
He happens to own a couple restaurants.
He's super successful, and everyone really likes him.
As the relationship progresses, these same attributes can actually be the very thing
that makes your life absolutely miserable.
You won't have time because he's hyper ambitious and he keeps wanting to expand.
Restaurateurs usually work a lot of hours.
Also, he's so charming that you know what?
He might sometimes cross the line with the women that works with.
The point of all this is that the next time that you meet a guy and find yourself getting
overly attached and really drawn to those kind of shiny objects attributes, those things
that are really initially attractive, what I want you to do is take a step back.
Don't value those things too highly because quite frankly although they are super attractive
right now.
In the long run they might be the very thing that ends the relationship.
Number three is you give away responsibility for your happiness.
People who aren't sure about how to look after themselves emotionally are always going to
reach out to someone else to do it for them.
That means when you get into a new relationship, you're going to find yourself always seeking
all of your happiness from that one person.
Then it's going to make you even more emotionally attached to that one person.
Number four is you're constantly making all of your dating decisions with your emotions
rather than with your logic.
For example, if a guy doesn't text you back after you text him something, then you end
up becoming a complete prisoner to your emotional needs.
You'll get really mad and maybe respond to him in a ridiculous way.
Another scenario if you're feeling lonely, you're just going ahead and text him.
If you're feeling sad about something, you're going to want him to console you.
If you're feeling envious about another girl, you're going to then go ahead and seek validation
from him.
If you're feeling angry about something, you're going to want to express it to him.
Now I understand when you're in a relationship, it's great to have someone there to listen
to your emotions and be able to respond accordingly.
You want to avoid in a relationship being completely dependent of getting all of your
emotional validation, all of your emotional needs met from that one person.
On top of that, you really want to start working on managing your own emotions.
I want you to realize that you have total control over your emotions.
If you find that you're constantly reacting based on how you feel in the moment, then
it's important to take a step back, and maybe develop a practice of meditation, and of really
learning to calm yourself down before acting accordingly.
Finally, the biggest reason why it is that you get emotionally attached in relationships
is that you don't believe that you can be happy when you're single.
Now, I always say it, the moment that you become happy with your single life is the
very moment when a guy will come in and sweep you off your feet.
You can be happy being single.
It's just something that you need to work on every single day.
So I want to hear from you, which ones of these do you struggle from the most.
I'd love to hear from you in the comments right there below.
Also, if you want more videos like this and more tips to really be able to transform your
love life, and create that love life you love, go ahead and click right here, and this will
take you to a page where you can download my free ebook that's going to show you every
single step of the way how to find the relationship that you truly deserve.
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Thank you so much for watching.
I'll speak to you next week.