(folk music)
- Another round of pizza bites, Chadwick.
- And two more martinis, in the triangle glass.
- And while we're at it, we'll take two more blow jobs.
(both laugh)
And that's exactly what life's gonna be like,
when we start makin' bank.
- Nice.
- [Danny] Lonergan, thanks for helping us
sell this bootleg liquor.
- You fuckin' sleep in this thing?
- [Lonergan] Yep. - Alright,
who wants to try the new batch?
- Ooh, me por favor.
- Alright.
- L'chaim. - Lonergan.
- Blah, blah, blah.
- Oh. - Oh!
Geez! - Oh that is nice.
Spicy!
- Damn!
- That's goin' put hair on my boob-ays.
- More hair.
- That tastes like hot poison.
- Alright, what do we wanna try now?
We got the sausage-infused vodka,
and then we've got this bathtub Jaeger that temporarily
blinded us last night.
Yo, Lonergan, you gotta cool off.
You're about to drive this car in 30 seconds,
and we can't get caught.
- Oh my God, calm down you big titty.
Relax.
We're gonna make a fortune sellin'
this shit once we get to the boardwalk,
and then butler blow jobs for everyone.
(gargling)
- [Danny] Come on!
- [Mark] Alright, Lonergan, Jesus.
- [Danny] So, do the butlers actually give us the blow jobs,
or do they facilitate the blow jobs.
- [Mark] Just close your eyes, and see what happens.
- [Lonergan] You guys wanna get nuts?
Time for a richie rail.
- What's that?
- Every time I make a right turn,
I earn a sweet little bump.
- What do you mean, earn a bump?
Holy shit. - Oh man!
Dude, I think she means how I earn a nap
after I eat a whole pizza.
It just happens.
- Live fast! (yells)
- [Danny] Lonergan, you psycho bitch!
(car squeaking and rattling) (car engine pops)
- [Mark] I said we should have stopped for gas.
- [Lonergan] Fuck!
Fuck!
You've gotta be fuckin' kiddin' me!
What the fuck?
- Aw, calm down saggy titty. - Shit!
No, you don't fuckin' get it.
If the Yakuza catch me, I'm busted!
I can't go back to being a foot-fetish model, yo!
- You got fuckin' weird feet, Lonergan!
- I know man, I know!
- Okay damn, if we get caught with this much
bootleg liquor, we're fucked.
(cries) - Wait a minute,
I've got an idea.
Why don't we drink our way out?
For once, Mark, that makes total sense.
Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah!
(laughs)
- [Lonergan] You got it!
- [Mark] Come on, let's do this man!
Let's get fuckin' loose! - Why aren't you
havin' fun, come party!
(dubstep music)
(police car siren) - Hey!
Hey, you two, tuck in your ugly weens.
(laughs)
- I just told you. - Shut up.
- Is this s'posed to be some kind of party?
- No.
- Well, it's over and you guys are in big trouble.
- Are you guys cops?
Cops who like to drink?
- Specifically, weird homemade liquor?
(dance music)
- You win, we go to jail or wherever.
- We win, we get
those badges. - Both those badges.
- Want to get nuts? (groans)
- You son of a bitch.
- [Cop] Hey, hey, hey it's not worth it.
♪ Let me hear your battle cry
♪ This is war, this is war (yells)
♪ If when it comes to givin' up
♪ You'd rather die, your a soldier
♪ Get what you came here for
(laughs)
- Son of a bitch! - Hey, hey, hey.
- Luke, turn off your targeting computer.
- Let go, Luke.
(epic music)
- Yeah!
(everyone cheering in slow motion)
(laughs)
- Another martini?
- In a triangle glass.
- You want to get nuts?
Come on, let's get nuts.
- Ah! - Ah, yeah!
- [Mom] Boys, what are you doing down there?
- [Danny and Mark] Nothing Mom!
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