♪ >> James: GOOD EVENING, LADIES
AND GENTLEMEN, AND WELCOME TO THE "LATE, LATE SHOW."
I MEAN I THINK THIS IS, I THINK THIS IS THE "LATE, LATE SHOW."
YOU MIGHT, HAVE TO BE PATIENT WITH ME, HONESTLY, MY BRAIN IS
STILL RECOVERING AFTER WATCHING LAST NIGHT'S PRESIDENTIAL
DEBATE.
I FEEL LIKE I'M STILL SHIVERING, YOU KNOW?
HONESTLY, THE WHOLE DAY TODAY IT FEELS LIKE MY LIFE IS BEING
PRODUCED BY JORD AFN PEELE.
I SHOWERED MORE TIMES LAST NIGHT THAN I HAVE IN THE PAST SIX
MONTHS.
>> I COULDN'T GET IT OFF ME.
BUT WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW PLANNED FOR YOU THIS EVENING.
BIG NEWS, FORMER SECRETARY OF STATE HILLARY CLINTON IS GOING
TO BE HERE TO TALK US THROUGH LAST NIGHT'S DEBATE.
THINK OF IT AS A GIANT THERAPY SESSION.
THAT'S THE THING.
STICK AROUND FOR THAT, REG, DID YOU WATCH THE DEBATE LAST NIGHT,
DID YOU SEE IT.
>> Reggie: OH MEI ME LORD, I WAS-- THAT WAS TOUGH, THAT WAS
REALLY TOUGH.
>> James: I WAS WATCHING IT WITH MY SON.
AND I WAS THINKING, MY SON IS NINE AND HIS YOUNGE-- YOUNGER
SISTER HAS JUST GONE TO BED AND I WAS THINKING THIS IS NOT GREAT
BECAUSE THERE IS THE EXACT BEHAVIOR WE TELL YOU NOT TO DO.
IF YOU MISSED THE DEBATE, HERE SAN ELOQUENT SUM ACHES BY SOME
OF AMERICA'S TOP JOURNALISTS.
>> THIS WAS SUCH A HOT MESS.
>> THAT WAS THE WORST PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE HAVE I EVER
SEEN.
>> A NIGHT OF CHAOS, AND INTERRUPTION, WHERE.
>> BULLYING.
>> THIS WAS EMBARRASSING FOR ME.
>> CLEARLY THIS DEBATE WAS AN EMBARRASSMENT FOR THE UNITED
STATES OF AMERICA.
>> THAT WAS A HOT MESS, INSIDE A DUMPSTER FIRE INSIDE A
TRAINWRECK.
>> THAT WAS [BLEEP] SHOW.
>> TERRIFYING NIGHTMARE ONLY THIS IS THE REAL THING.
>> IT IS JUST SHOCKING CONSIDERING EVERYTHING ELSE THIS
YEAR HAS GONE SO WELL.
THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S BEING CALLED THE WORST PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE OF
ALL TIME BUT REMEMBER THERE'S STILL TWO POR DEBATES TO GO.
SO WHO KNOWS.
IF IT GETS THE CHANCE TO HANG ON TO THAT RECORD.
I DON'T EVEN THINK WORD DEBATE IS ENOUGH, I THINK THEY HAVE TOK
PANNED IT.
I THINK IT MAY BE THE WORST THING EVER THAT OURED ON
TELEVISION.
AND ON THIS SHOW WE ONCE PLAYED A GAME CALLED ARE YOU MART
SMARTER THAN A WHOOPI GOLDBERG IMPERSONATOR.
(LAUGHTER) DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?
>> OH YEAH, I REMEMBER THAT.
I THINK ABOUT IT BEFORE I FALL ASLEEP EVERY NIGHT.
>> I THINK ABOUT IT AND I SOMETIMES THINK I THINK ABOUT
THE LEVEL OF THINGS THAT HAD TO HAPPEN FOR THAT TO END UP ON
TELEVISION.
LIKE WE ALL PITCH BAD THINGS FROM TIME TO TIME.
BUT WE HAD A WHOOPI GOLDBERG IMPERSONATOR HERE AND I THINK
CHRISTIAN SLATER HAD TO ANSWER QUESTIONS, DO YOU REMEMBER THAT,
GUILLERMO, CHRISTIAN SLATER HAD TO ANSWER QUESTIONS AS TO
WHETHER HE WAS SMARTER THAN A WHOOPI GOLDBERG IMPERSONATOR.
>> I PUT THIS OUT OF MY MIND FOR SURE.
>> YEAH, I WILL BE HONEST, YOU WON'T FIND IT ON YOUTUBE.
AND MOST VIEWERS AGREED THAT THE DEBAE LAST NIGHT WAS NOT
PLEASANT BECAUSE ACCORDING TO A CBS NEWS POLL EIGHT OUT OF TEN
AMERICANS THOUGHT THE TONE OF DEBATE WAS NEGATIVE.
THE OTHER TWO WILL SAY ANYTHING TO GET THEIR DAD'S APPROVAL.
NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN, ERIC.
INCREDIBLY, 17% OF PEOPLE POLLED ACTUALLY THOUGHT THE DEBATE WAS
POSITIVE.
THOSE 17 PERCENT ARE ALSO THE PEOPLE WHO STILL THINK GENDER
REVEAL PARTIES ARE FUN.
TRUMP WAS SO AGGRESSIVE AND RUDE THAT AT ONE POINT BIDEN COULDN'T
HELP BUT BE PRETTY RUDE HIMSELF.
>> WOULD YOU.
>> WAIT A MINUTE THE FINAL WORD.
>> WELL IT'S HARD TO GET ANY WORD WITH THIS CLOWN, EXCUSE ME,
THIS PERSON.
>> LET ME TELL YOU-- .
>> James: NOW I DON'T THINK THIS IS FAIR, OKAY, I WANT TO
STICK UP FOR CLOWNS HERE.
BECAUSE, I DO.
CLOWNS THEY GET-- SOME-- CLOWNS ONLY MAKE SOME PEOPLE CRY, YOU
KNOW.
>> Reggie: TRUE.
>> James: AND THAT WASN'T THE ONLY TIME BIDEN GOT FRUSTRATED
BY TRUMP'S CONSTANT INTERRUPTIONS.
AT ANOTHER POINT HE SAID THIS.
>> YOU ARE IN VOTE NOW, VOTE AND LET YOUR SENATORS KNOW HOW
STRONG YOU FEEL.
>> ARE YOU GOING TO.
>> VOTE NOWRKS MAKE SURE YOU LET PEOPLE KNOW, YOUR SENATORS.
>> I'M NOT GOING TO ANSWER THE QUESTION.
>> WHY WON'T YOU ANSWER THE QUESTION.
>> THE QUESTION IS SHALL DID SHALL.
>> THE QUESTION.
>> RADICAL LEVEL.
>> WILL YOU SHUT UP, MAN.
>> Reggie: YES, YES.
(APPLAUSE).
>> James: AND IT WORKED, IT WORKED, TRUMP WAS INCREDIBLY
QUIET AND RESPECT FOR-- RESPECTFUL FOR THE REST OF
THE DEBATE.
I WOULDN'T BE SUR PRIESED IF HE IS STILL AT THE PODIUM NOW,
DOESN'T KNOW EVERYONE HAS LEFT AND HE IS STILL JUST TALKING.
THE FORMER VICE PRESIDENT JUST TALKED TO TRUMP.
HE TALKED THE TRUMP THE SAME WAY YOU TALK TO YOUR BROTHER, LIKE
WHEN HE WON'T STOP ASKING QUESTIONS WHILE YOU ARE TRYING
TO WATCH THE GREAT BRITISH BAKING SHOW, YOU KNOW WHAT I
MEAN, THIS ISN'T THE TECHNICAL CHALLENGE, IT IS THE SHOW
STOPPER, I EXPLAINED IT TO YOU.
I EXPLAINED IT TO YOU BEFORE.
THERE IS THE-- WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP, MANK I'M TRAYING TO
LOOK AT A ZIGGY STARDUST CAKE.
BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE ONLINE PRAISED BIDEN FOR SAYING, ONE
PERSON WILL EVEN SWEET TWEETED WILL YOU SHUT UP, MAN, IS THE
LINE OF THE NIGHT.
AND THEN I SO FEEL FOR MILLIARY RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I'M POSITIVE
SHE WANTED TO SAY THAT AND SHE COULDN'T.
TO WHICH HILLARY CLINTON ACTUALLY RESPONDED, YOU HAVE NO
IDEA.
I THINK I'VE GOT AN IDEA.
>> Reggie: YEAH.
>> James: AND WE'LL FIND OUT A LITTLE LATER TONIGHT WHEN WE SIT
DOWN WITH SECRETARY CLINTON AND HAVE A CHAT.
ONE OF THE MOST OUTRAGE MOST-- OUTRAGEOUS MOMENTS WAS
WHEN TRUMP FAILED TO CONDEMN WHITE SUPREMACY AND FOX NEWS
CRITICIZED TRUMP FOR NOT TAKING A STAND.
>> DONALD TRUMP PROVED THE BIGGEST WAY UP IN THE HISTORY OF
DEBATES BY SAYING NOT CONDEMNING WHITE SPREMMIST.
I DONE KNOW IF HE DIDN'T HEAR IT BUT HE HAS TO CLARIFY THAT RIGHT
AWAY, THAT IS LUKE ARE YOU AGAINST EVIL.
WHY THE PRESIDENT DIDN'T JUST KNOCK IT OUT OF THE PARK I'M NOT
SURE.
>> James: I'M PRETTY SURE.
YOU KNOW, AT LEAST IT'S A HUNCH.
YOU KNOW THINGS ARE BAD WHEN FOX NEWS IS TELLING YOU COME ON,
SIR, JUST SAY ARE YOU NOT RACIST.
TRUMP WOULDN'T CONDEMN WHITE SUPREMACY GROUPS EVEN WHEN THEY
PRESSED HIM.
I MEAN FOR A GUY ON HIS THIRD MARRIAGE I DIDN'T EXPECT HIM TO
BE THIS LOYAL PEOPLE WERE SO DISTURBED BY WHAT HAPPENED
DURING LAST NIGHT'S DISASTER A SPECIFIC GOOGLE SEARCH SPIKED
SIGNIFICANTLY IN AMERICA RIGHT AFTER THE DEBATE.
AND THAT SEARCH WAS MOVE TO CANADA.
AND MOST OF THAT SEARCHING WAS DONE BY CHRIS WALLACE.
THE SEARCHES WITH MOST POPULAR IN MASSACHUSETTS, OHIO AND
MICHIGAN WHICH IS SOME BICK BATTLEGROUND STATES.
MEANWHILE THE GOOGLE SEARCH MOST POPULAR IN FLORIDA WAS STILL CAN
MY ALLIGATOR GET A JET SKI LICENSE.
FOR THE MOST PART LAST NIGHT'S DEBATE WAS A COMPLETE WASTE OF
TIME.
BUT ONE THING WE DID LEARN FOR SURE IS THAT JOE BIEDERN, JOE
BIDEN KNOWS WHERE THE DEAL IS.
>> NOW HERE'S THE DEAL.
>> HERE'S THE DEAL.
>> YOU THE WORST PRESIDENT AMERICA HAS EVER HAD SWRZ AND
THAT IS THE DEAL.