- I want pizza for diner, I hate sushi.
I'm bored of my bike, I want a new one.
My party is okay, but it could have been better.
Entitlement is a privileged parent's worst nightmare.
Of course we're so happy to be able to give our kids
everything that they want and need.
And it's so much fun to pamper them with all the extras.
Delicious food, fun experiences, lovely toys,
but when they start demanding and expecting
they should get exactly what they want, or else,
it can start to feel like we're creating a monster.
The truth is that when kids grow up
with a silver spoon in their mouth,
never realizing what a blessing that is,
they have no perspective on life.
They know only of abundance,
of getting everything they want,
and of having their adults rush to satisfy their every whim.
If they've never had to struggle,
to wait patiently, to work hard for something,
to experience stress and frustration,
then it's hardly surprising that they don't know
how to handle any of those things.
Most of us don't appreciate the things that come easily.
When our kids are feeling entitled to certain stuff,
treatment, or help, it's because they've always received
those things without ever having to earn them,
to struggle for them, or to wait for them.
That's a feeling of entitlement,
that I deserve everything, just because.
But the antidote to entitlement is gratitude.
You could be the wealthiest person alive,
but if you are grateful for what you have,
and you realize it is such a blessing,
then you're not entitled.
Inversely, you could be dirt poor,
but if you think that you deserve everything just because,
then you might be very entitled.
So how can we help our children gain that wider perspective
and realize that many people worked very hard
so that they could have what they do?
And that many people around the world
don't have, and never will have
the abundance that they have.
And that whilst it's fine to desire,
it's not okay to demand.
And whilst it's great to think big,
we must be willing to work hard.
And whilst we may be used to getting what we want,
we can also get used to wanting what we already have.
We want our children to know
that their happiness is important,
but that it can't be bought.
And that they alone are responsible for their happiness.
The saying goes, "You don't know what
"you got till it's gone."
But perhaps you also don't know what you've got
until you meet someone who doesn't have it.
If we expose our children to the realities
that other people face, to the struggles
they must endure, and to the hardships they must overcome,
simply to survive, we may be able to put into perspective
just how blessed they truly are.
If we show them through stories, biographies,
and meeting people in real life,
just what it means to have running water,
modern medicine, the right to vote,
the freedom to travel, practice your religion
or be who you are.
A shelter over your head and food on your table,
perhaps they'll gain some perspective on pizza versus sushi.
Perhaps they'll still want the new bike,
but they'll realize they're lucky to have a bike at all.
Perhaps they'll learn that happiness
is their own responsibility, and is rooted
in what they choose to focus on.
If they focus on lack, they'll find bitter entitlement.
And if they focus on luck, they'll find themselves
already kings of the world.
Helping our children gain this perspective,
and choose to view reality through a lens of gratitude,
is but one way that we can love parenting
and parent from love.
(inspirational music)