- Zeus.
- Hi Pandora.
Just gimme a second, let me fix this screen.
Okay, hey!
Hey, thank you for taking the time
to jump on this call.
- Not a problem.
I mean, any chance to talk to head office is an honor.
- Well, I appreciate that.
So look, I was at the board of gods meeting,
and it was brought to my attention
that there's some pretty crazy stuff
happening on Earth right now.
- Oh, yeah, yeah. - Oh, so you know about it.
And, ya know, we chatted,
and we cleared up it wasn't one of us.
So we started brainstorming.
And, well your name came up.
- Oh.
- Yeah, and it's probably nothing,
but you know, due diligence.
I gotta chat with you, we gotta clear it up.
- Yeah, no, no totally.
- Great.
So I don't know if you recall,
and it's totally fine if you don't,
but a little while ago I gave you a box.
You remember that?
- Ah...
Well I mean, I see boxes all the time.
What did this one look like?
- Oh well it was, you know, about yae big.
Had a big label on it that said, do not open, block letters.
- Oh, okay.
Mm, ah, yeah no, I don't think I've seen
anything that looks like that.
- Oh, okay.
Well, it was the most important thing
I've ever tasked you with, so...
- Oh.
Oh yeah, a box, okay.
Yes, yes, I do remember that.
I thought, I thought you said socks.
And I was like, what, Zeus has never given me socks before.
This is pretty lame.
- Yeah, I wouldn't have done that.
- But no, yes, box, of course, yes, I absolutely...
Very important box, I remember that.
- Great, great.
Did you, by chance, open it?
- Open what?
- The box.
Pandora?
Helloo.
Can you hear me, Pandora?
I think it's frozen, shoot.
Pandora, I can see your cat walk behind you.
- Sorry, what?
- Did you open the very important box?
- Ah...
Nope.
- No?
Okay.
Yeah, I believe you.
It's just that, you know,
in all the things I'm seeing on Earth right now,
kinda seems like you opened the box.
- Oh I mean, is it because of
the pandemic happening down there?
- Amongst other things, yeah.
- Ah, Earth gets plenty of pandemics,
there's always like some new super flu going on.
It's not a big deal, I don't think it came from
this box that you're thinking of.
- Yeah, yeah.
Well and that's a great point, yeah.
I will say I did put quite a bit
of political unrest in there as well.
- Well you know, in that case, I mean the box could've been
opened at any point in the last 400 years.
- Well that is very true.
- You know, Zeus, maybe you gave the box to somebody else.
- No, no, I definitely didn't.
You have the one and only box.
Very important.
And it's got some really specific stuff in there
that I am now seeing on Earth.
- Like what?
- Well, there's a spark for World War III,
put one of those in there.
- Okay, that's pretty generic and also like inevitable,
if we're being honest.
- And I know for a fact I put an oil spill.
- We have one of those like every year.
The corporate entities here are terrible.
- And something tells me I put
a bunch of cocaine pigs and murder hornets in there.
- Okay, now why would you even do that?
- Where else am I gonna put them?
- No, but why do those things even exist?
- Oh, so now I'm the one being interrogated?
- No, it just, it seems pretty suspect
that you would make all of these things
to terrorize Earth and then put them
in this flimsy and pathetic box
with this do not touch label.
- Okay, the label was not pathetic.
The label, it was very clear.
- What, so you couldn't splurge
for a dollar store combination lock?
You know, I'm starting to think you wanted it to be open.
- What?
What, I wouldn't?
I wouldn't, I didn't, I couldn't.
I didn't want, I don't want anybody,
anybody could want, not this, not this guy.
I didn't, I couldn't want that.
- I know, it sounds really messed up
when you say it out loud.
So much so, that you probably didn't wanna do it personally,
and passed off the box to somebody else.
- Wow!
Oh wow, that was a world record jump to conclusions.
- Is is?
- Yeah.
You, you, you are changing the subject
because you opened the box.
- I didn't open the box.
- Oh come on, just say you opened it.
- No, I won't, because I didn't open it.
- You opened the box.
- I didn't open the box.
- Say you opened the box, and we'll move past this.
- Like you'll forgive and forget?
- No, absolutely not.
No, there'll be major consequences.
- Well, then I didn't open the box.
- Say you opened the box. - No.
- Say you opened the box! - Mm-mm.
- You opened the box, you opened the box,
you opened the box! - I didn't open the box.
- You did, yes you did, you opened it, you opened!
- Uh-uh.
- Dammit Pandora, just say you opened the box!
- I didn't.
- Well good then.
- Great.
- I'm glad, I'm relieved that you didn't open it
because then we'd have aliens everywhere.
- I don't remember any aliens in there.
- Hah!
Ooh, I knew you opened the...
Uh! - No wait, I didn't.
- I knew you opened the frigging box, Pandora.
I knew you did it, but you were stubborn, right.
You were stubborn, so you had me up here
doing mind games 'cause then I was like,
oh, maybe she didn't open it because humans are stupid
and they're capable of anything, right.
But then you admitted it!
Right at the end.
Ooh, I got you.
- So am I fired?
- No, way worse.
- You know, humans are gonna hate you when they find out
that you made all of that stuff just for fun.
- What?
- Yeah.
They're gonna think you're some kind of apocalypse perv.
I mean, yeah, I opened the box,
but you're the one who put all that stuff in the box.
And once I tell everybody...
- But you wouldn't.
- Oh, why wouldn't I if you're just gonna smite me anyway?
- Okay.
I see what you're doing here.
Let's do this.
I won't touch you.
And we will collectively
just call this natural occurrences.
- Deal. - Deal.
- So are there like any other surprises in the box?
- Oh, you have no idea what kind of mistake you've made.
(dynamic music)
♪ Working with actors who don't understand ♪
Oh, I gotta burp.
(Zeus burps)
(background chattering)
And, oh I'm about to sneeze.
(Zeus sneezes)