INFJs are empathic listeners who exude a calm, mysterious aura.
They can even appear graceful at times.
If you're an INFJ personality type, however, you've probably felt like the odd man out
a few times.
You've probably experienced your fair share of "out of place" experiences, but you don't
often notice them until they've happened.
While any of the 16 personality types can appear odd at times, the INFJ has a few quirks
that stand out.
INFJs are the most uncommon personality type, yet they, too, have flaws.
While no one is saying that you change who you are, becoming conscious of these mistakes
can help you blend in a little better and help your own wellbeing.
So here are seven biggest mistakes INFJs make in Life.
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Overcommitting
It's difficult to find someone more dependable than an INFJ.
Overcommitment is frequently the result of "poor limit setting," which is one of their
most serious issues.
“Poor limit setting” refers to their inability to create suitable boundaries for their own
or others' actions.
In other words, they have a hard time saying no.
This stems from their empathic nature as well.
They will leave their aspirations and put their entire lives on hold once they believe
that their work contributes to the greater good.
They will continue to do what they are doing for the sake of the corporation, customers,
children, or whatever else they are concerned about.
People and companies, however, do not always appreciate INFJs' sacrifice.
They also don't always agree on what's important and how things should be done.
INFJs are generally unselfish workers who wait until they are forced to chase their
aspirations, such as when they lose their job, to start pursuing their dreams.
Many INFJs wind up squandering their lives serving people who don't appreciate
or deserve it.
INFJs should be aware that not everyone follows the same set of values and learn to set a
limit and boundary for themselves.
Idolizing people
Idolizing and idealizing our loved ones is natural to some extent, but the manner INFJs
idealize individuals is unrealistic and unsustainable.
They set themselves up for disappointment and frustration by idolizing their partners'
virtues while entirely dismissing their weaknesses.
Splitting is common in those who are prone to idealization and devaluation.
They may see people in their lives as all wonderful or all terrible, idealizing them
at first and then depreciating them by adding exaggerated negative characteristics to them.
Most individuals, unless they are narcissists, don't love being idolized and praised for
traits they don't have.
INFJs don't know this.
It's embarrassing and uncomfortable to be complimented for something that isn't true,
yet INFJs make the mistake of thinking it must be flattering.
Some people may begin to avoid INFJs because they appear to be difficult to live up to.
Self blame
INFJs aren't fond of seeing people who tend to blame everyone else for their own shortcomings.
They prefer to see people who are capable of taking responsibility for their acts and
are frustrated by those who are unable to do so.
While this tendency can irritate the INFJ, there is a flip side to their blaming response.
The INFJ is prone to blaming themselves for things for which they should not be held accountable.
They may experience a great deal of shame throughout their lives, and they frequently
bear the blame and guilt even when they have done nothing wrong.
INFJs take on a lot, even when it doesn't seem like they should.
When things go wrong, INFJs stress about it and their part in it.
They drive themselves nuts by ruminating on what they should or should not have said
or done.
Even in instances where they have little control over the outcome, the same is true.
People with INFJ obsessional tendencies often pull themselves apart and blame themselves
for things they didn't cause because of their obsessional tendencies.
Overanalyzing
When INFJs' intuition comes in and they start over reading into a situation,
they can appear very awkward.
For example, if someone is being sweeter to the boss than normal, they might deduce that
the person is doing so to advance in their career.
And they could be correct about the situation—INFJs are the best at reading between the lines.
It's not their intuition that makes them appear awkward; it's what occurs when they begin
to act on their insights.
They believe their sweet-talking coworker isn't being sincere
They'll most likely express their feelings through body language, avoidance, and a lack
of congeniality.
It's not just difficult for others who don't understand why they're acting strangely, but
it's also out of character for INFJs in general, who are often kind and helpful.
Avoiding Conflict
INFJs are an emotional personality type, and other personality types may believe that INFJs
tend to exaggerate and overreact.
Because INFJs are skilled at calming situations, they frequently avoid unnecessary conflict.
But there are occasions when they will simply walk away from a crisis, particularly if they
don't want to put any effort towards calming everyone involved.
The trouble is that avoiding disagreement doesn't make stress go away; in fact,
it makes it worse.
People become disconnected and unable to tackle their problems. When issues grow in size, resentment
grows, and people become disengaged.
A refusal to deal with disagreement has a significant negative effect on growth.
When INFJs avoid even the tiniest argument, they compromise their actual feelings and
build up frustration, which can be harmful to their health.
Avoidance actions do not solve the problem and are ineffective as compared to more proactive
strategies that could help to reduce stress in the future.
Constant dissatisfaction
INFJs have a tendency to create comprehensive, complex mental images of how they want their
tasks to look.
They are visionaries with idealistic ideals and expectations.
This implies that they can constantly improve, that their ideas can always be better, and
that they feel compelled to continue evolving and become better versions of themselves.
While personal development is beneficial, it can be harmful if it leads to a constant
state of dissatisfaction with oneself.
INFJs that are introspective and intellectually minded frequently appear to be dissatisfied
with life.
They continue to question things, pondering how things could be made better
or more meaningful.
It's a restless hunger for something better,
but they're not sure what that something better is.
INFJs suffer greatly as a result of their unhappiness.
Instead of straining and hurting themselves to the point of burnout and persistent discontent,
INFJs should take time to enjoy "good enough" and rest.
Single mindedness
INFJs are obsessed with narrowing down their options to only one best choice
for theirlives.
They spend a lot of time thinking and theorizing before deciding, but once they do, it's nearly
tough to persuade them to change their minds.
It's as though their body goes into autopilot mode to meet their vision's requirements.
INFJs are notorious for procrastinating, but once they have a clear goal,
they are practically unstoppable.
While this can be beneficial, it can also make them completely impervious
to alternative suggestions.
Sometimes, INFJs can become so fascinated by their ideas and visions that they lose
touch with reality.
They will filter out any evidence that contradicts their ideal vision and stick to their strategy
for longer than is feasible.
They may rush to realize their vision, even if it means jeopardizing their health, relationships,
or well-being.
INFJs can become more effective and productive by being more realistic, keeping their eyes
open, remaining flexible and open to new possibilities,
and understanding when to cut their losses.
INFJs are enigmas to other personality types, and their thinking, speaking, and functioning
can appear odd at times.
When these habits are examined, the majority of them are simple to explain.
So, if you or someone you know is an INFJ, don't disregard these behaviors as odd, but
rather as evidence of an INFJ personality.
Understanding your actions is the first step toward making any future improvements
if you feel compelled to do so.
INFJs have to learn to forgive themselves.
They have high expectations and are perfectionists.
We all make errors.
When they understand their errors, they must forgive themselves and stop dwelling on them.
Allow others to forgive them.
Recognize their merits just as much as they criticize themselves for their flaws.