we should be pretty good at this we've
known each other for 37 years this this
year will actually be the 38th year of
friendship i will say that i know myself
even better than i know you is that a
part of this
hey we're written link and we're going
to test how well we know each other for
vanity fair
[Music]
all right who's going first what do i
spend the most money on you spend the
most money on really think about this
one now
please i'm listening to the number of
letters he's scribbling no don't do that
as cheating
why do you spend the money i don't do a
lot of writing with my hand
this is tough what do you spend them you
spend so much money
every time turn around but think
practically logically yeah give me hints
think the actual answer
there is a real answer that is
without a doubt
the correct one
by not by like an order of magnitude
uh
it's it's got to be food
i'm going to say beans
i mean it's good for the brand home
improvement man home improvement
think about all the crap that my wife
tries to do to the house
i did i always consider that's her
spending the money right i mean that's
not my understanding what's my favorite
time of day
oh gosh this is easy i hope you know the
correct answer to this i've never even
thought about this
oh man this is so simple so
straightforward
oh i hope you get it right hush
okay what's my favorite time of day
100 objectively true bedtime
can you be more specific 9 30 p.m 9 20
p.m
yeah i'll give it to you hold on
here's something i will tell you at 9 00
pm
and i only know i'm not with him when he
goes to bed
i leave that to his wife but we were
together recently and at 9 00 p.m he was
connected to like a music system and
very odd soothing music started playing
i was like what it went from a playlist
we were listening to today i was like
what was that he said that's my bedtime
music yeah
9 20. it starts at 9. what word or
phrase do i overuse
what word or phrase do you overuse i'm
going to say
golly
come on lee yeah
golly
sound like
gomer pyle who was my first
non-celebrity crush
okay there's a technical answer and then
there's sort of the
hey i know you man i don't need any
hints
okay well i don't know if you know the
technical answer but i'm going with
i don't need any hints your first
non-celebrity crush was lisa jay
i didn't think you knew me that well i
went to hollyw
but see i'm you're saying i'm right so
you didn't answer you've been so wrong
so far answering what he thought i was
going to say but not what is true i
answered what's true so i got it right i
liked holly w for a long time you got it
wrong and like you couldn't have me for
like gotten it wrong
lisa was the technical answer lisa was
the i was i was in first grade she was
in second grade it was one of those
combined classes that i like older women
always have yeah and then holly was
later so tall
volleyball
yeah yeah yeah yeah i give him a point
he gets a negative point if i get a
point for 9 30 when it was 9 20. you get
a point for lisa j when it was hollyw
it wasn't it was lisa you admitted to
that yeah yeah yeah if i could only
listen to one album
what would it be
one album
okay
crap we did an
entire podcast
ranking our
most meaningful albums
and i wasn't listening to anything you
said it was very clear by the way you
kept dozing off ah
okay i i i know this uh hold on you're
gonna go with the one i said was number
one or are you gonna go with one that
actually i wouldn't want to listen to
the most
your favorite album
isn't that the question
i can change my answer i'll put that in
parentheses he's making a mockery of
your
thing so it's
you're putting down two answers yeah
yeah yeah
you're embarrassing i'm trying to give
you points thank you
uh
serving 190 proof hey that's the one i
put up the top the second i put is
emotionalism which is what i said was
number one but it was also not my
favorite it was just mostly i didn't
remember you said that but the one i
would want to listen to is 790 proof i'm
real haggard
so i got that right even without a
change again
i'm definitely i definitely know you
better than you know well i'm easier i
i'm i'm
thankfully a little more predictable
what would i do for a living if i wasn't
doing this
do you even need to write it down just
put the initials
be as specific as you want
my buddy
uh a stylist of hair
can you be more specific
um
no
so you're saying a hair stylist uh i'll
give it to you a silent hairdresser a
hairdresser
that typically is words like that's only
like your mom might my nana goes to a
hairdresser yeah and you know what
that's my fallback plan i've never
dressed anybody's hair actually besides
my own and yours and some of the
hairdressers some of the guys i would
cut here in
high school but i want to be the one
that doesn't talk
good i i can't stand talking when i get
my hair done
buy a dresser when i get my hair dressed
i don't like to speak what's my biggest
fear
what's my biggest fear what's my biggest
fear
i'm going based on empirical evidence
okay
i don't know what that means but what is
my biggest fear the dark
what do you mean empirical evidence you
you've seen me when you take your trash
out you sk like and there's no lights on
outside it you get scared and you run
out and run back like a like like a
child yeah but this is my biggest fear
but what could be in the dark
going broke oh oh so you gave the honest
answer
well you know i'm here i might as well
be present
you know what you stick with me you got
nothing to worry about
thanks granddaddy
what's my go-to dance move
how about we face back to back
and we both do my signature dance move
okay
of course
this is in the way i don't know this is
getting chaotic guys
brace don't move don't move
this is where they want these well okay
okay are you ready
three
two
one
now turn around slowly no you know you
no man it's you do this thing it's all
you and whenever you're talking about
you do a thing with your knees you
talking about this one yeah like i have
so many since when have you danced and
not done that
what was the other day in my younger
days i did i did more like kind of
stepping i'm stepping over the fence i'm
stepping over the fence remember
stepping over the fence
no points no points given on that one
i'm a little out of breath
what food could i eat every day
what food could you not eat every day
yeah but you gotta narrow down to one
what
this is this is like fishing a barrel
um
again
it could be anything and they would all
be right i'm gonna say
why are you acting like i'm on the right
track
street tacos
if it's beans man
i said that earlier i can't you said i
used that to answer earlier yeah well i
mean you use it at the wrong place man
hey but you know i could eat street
tacos every day i know he could give him
a point
beans
what one word
would i choose to describe myself
well whenever you start describing
yourself i've never heard you limit it
to one word
but what if i did write it down
one word to describe yourself
you don't want to be too you pick one
you don't want to be too braggish
you don't want to be too humble
i just want to be descriptive yeah i
think
you said tall
that's right
tall
i mean when it's freakish when you're is
freakishly tall you have to i mean
that's the thing that people will
remember all right i don't remember much
about him but he was tall
i have chosen this question
to answer myself
in hopes that then
i will get two compliments what is my
best quality
okay why are you i don't like you
struggling
i'll have to narrow it down like that's
right man what's my best quality
and you can verbally process by listing
all my other almost best qualities
i mean
i was going to say your ability to
detach
what are you my therapist no no not like
dissociate
i'm just saying like
you can like you can
if you're going through something you
can be like i'm going to
compartmentalize yes and do this other
thing oh yeah enviable yeah that's right
see i seem happy all the time but in
inside
i'm just i'm in turmoil and you're
admitting that to all these
viewers thanks you are actually i
actually said the exact opposite of that
i said loyal
well would that be the yeah
i was not talking about detaching from
people
i was like you know you're very very
loyal i'm a loyal person who is easily
easily detached
but
don't count on me
who
is my best friend
stuff okay all right this could go
sideways real fast
i gotta
i've narrowed it down but
it's difficult malone jack black
who's my best friend it's like how do
you even answer this question i mean
what even is a best friend
if you really think about it
you know it's like
okay
who's my best friend
jesus
[Laughter]
no uh
me man why you got to make me say jesus
ain't my best
me man
yeah i almost put my dog james yeah
right but i did change it at the last
second i appreciate that you landed on
me and my wife is also my best friend i
mean yeah but you can have more than one
best friend yeah
you don't have to qualify that way is
she watching
definitely not
my my dog's not watching either that's
why i gave it to you
all right so who won
i think we did pretty good man we did we
know each other i think we know each
other really well each other really well
we've got some things to work on