- I lived in death for 10 days.
I was on a training bike ride with my fellow teammates,
headed for the 1988 Winter Olympics in Calgary.
As we made our way up to the
beautiful blue mountains west of Sydney,
it was the perfect autumn day.
We'd been on our bikes for around five and a half hours,
and we got to the part of the ride that I loved
and that was the hills because I loved the hills.
I looked up to see the sun shining in my face.
And then everything went black.
Where was I?
What was happening?
My body was consumed by pain.
I'd been hit by a speeding truck
with only 10 minutes to go on the bike ride.
I was airlifted from the scene of the accident.
I'd broken my neck and my back in six places.
My whole right side was ripped open
and filled with gravel.
My head was cut open across the front,
lifted back, exposing the skull underneath.
I had head injuries, I had internal injuries,
and I had massive blood loss.
For 10 days I drifted between two dimensions.
I was in the fight of my life.
After 10 days, I made the choice to return to my body,
and when I did,
the massive internal bleeding miraculously stopped.
The next question
was whether I would walk again.
Because I was paralyzed from the waist down.
I woke up in intensive care
to the news that the operation had been a success.
Because at that point I had a little bit of movement
in one of my big toes.
And I thought, great,
because I'm going to the Olympics.
(laughing)
But then the doctor came over and said to me
matter of factly,
"Janine, the operation was a success.
"But the damage is permanent.
"They're central nervous system nerves,
"and there is no cure.
"So although we think you may
"get some feeling back from the waist down,
"you will have internal injuries for the rest of your life.
"You will have to use a catheter.
"And if you walk again,
"it will be with calipers and a walking frame.
"You're going to have to rethink
"everything you do in your life
"because you are never going to be able
"to do the things you did before."
I was an athlete.
My body was everything.
If I couldn't do that, if I wasn't that,
then who was I?
After almost six months,
it was time to leave the spinal ward.
I was in a wheelchair
and a plaster body cast.
And all I wanted to do was go home
and get my life back and learn how to walk.
But the head nurse at the hospital said,
"Janine, I want you to be ready,
"because when you get home, something's going to happen."
She said, "You're going to get depressed."
I said not me.
Not Janine the Machine.
She said, "It happens to everybody."
I was in a wheelchair,
a plaster body cast,
attached to a catheter bottle.
I had no feeling from the waist down.
I wanted my life back.
I wanted to put my running shoes on
and run out the door.
But I couldn't.
And I got depressed.
There were days when I
didn't want to get outta bed,
and days when I didn't get outta bed.
And I can remember my mom sitting on the bed
and we were both crying,
and she said, "I wonder if life will ever good again?"
And I thought how could it.
Because I've lost everything that I valued.
At home, sitting outside in my plaster body cast,
an airplane flew over my house.
And in that moment, my eyes and my mind were opened.
I stopped asking why me.
And I began to ask
why not me.
And I looked up and I thought,
that's it, if I can't walk, then I might as well fly.
(audience clapping)
So weeks later my mom and my friend Chris,
they bought me a pair of baggy overalls,
and they drove me to the local airport, Bankstown Airport,
and they carried me in.
And I held onto the counter,
because I couldn't even stand on my own.
I said I'm here for my flying lesson.
And they ran out the back to draw short straws.
"Oh my God."
And this guy came out, Andrew,
he said, "Hi, I'm gonna take you flying."
I said great.
So they put me in the car
and they drove me down to the tarmac.
And there on the tarmac
was a red, white, and blue airplane.
I had never seen anything so beautiful before,
they lifted me up into the aircraft,
they put me in the front seat,
they did my seatbelt up,
he got a clearance from the tower,
and he took off down the runway.
And as the wheels lifted off the runway,
I felt the most incredible sense of freedom.
And then as we flew over the training area
of Bankstown Airport, Andrew said to me,
he said, "Right, you see those mountains over there?"
And I said yes,
as I looked towards the blue mountains west of Sydney,
where my journey had begun,
and he said,
"You take the controls,
and you head towards those mountains."
And I did.
And I was flying.
And I knew right then that I was gonna be a pilot.
I didn't know how on earth I'd ever pass a medical.
(laughs)
But that didn't matter.
Because I had a dream and nothing was going to stop me.
All I could do in the beginning
was lie on the ground and lift my legs
this far, maybe an inch.
But it was better than nothing.
And I practiced my walking as much as I could,
and I went from the point of two people holding me up
to one person holding me up.
To the point where I could walk around the house
holding on to the furniture,
it as long as it wasn't too far apart.
So while the doctors continued to
put my body back together again,
I went on with my theory study.
And then amazingly, eventually,
I passed my pilot's medical.
And I had my bag of medication, and catheters,
and my funny walk.
And they would look at me and think,
"Who is she kidding?
"She's never going to be able to do this."
And sometimes I thought that too.
But there was something inside of me
that was burning so bright that said don't stop.
And eventually I learned to fly.
I went for my first solo,
and I got my private pilot's license.
And then, I learned to navigate.
I flew around Australia
and I got my unrestricted private pilot's license.
And then I learned to fly in bad weather
as well as fine weather.
And I got my instrument rating.
And then I got my commercial pilot's license.
And then I got my instructor rating.
And then I found myself at that same school
where I'd gone for that very first flight
teaching other people how to fly.
(audience clapping)
In just over 12 months after I'd left the spinal ward.
(audience cheering)
I wasn't meant to live,
I wasn't meant to walk,
and I wasn't meant to fly.
Our bodies may be limited,
but it's our spirit that's unstoppable.
I now know that it wasn't until I let go
of who I thought I was
that I had the freedom to create something
completely new for my life.
It wasn't til I let go of the life
I thought I was supposed to have,
that I'd worked so hard for,
that I was able to embrace the possibilities
that waited for me.
I now know that my real strength never came from my body.
Unlike anything you can lose in life,
the defiant human spirit remains steadfast.
And of this I'm certain,
I am not my body.
And you, my dear friends,
are not yours.
When you choose courage in the face of fear,
you defy the things that hold you back from greatness.
It's a daunting task.
And you might well ask
where do I begin.
Where do I start?
Well perhaps the simple words of this poem
might offer a clue.
He said to build a better world.
I said I would but how.
The world is such a cold, dark place,
and complicated now.
For I am small and helpless.
There's nothing I can do.
He said, "Of course there is.
"Just build a better you."
(dramatic inspirational music)