hey guys welcome back thanks for joining me for another video
in this week's video i wanted to give you some quick tips towards
taking care of yourself mentally and emotionally so these are probably
a short list of the best tips that have worked for me and really helped
um make me mentally stronger make me mentally healthier
the first thing is everyone should have what i like to call
a mental health crisis kit and what this really means
is life's gonna happen we're gonna go through stressful times we're gonna go
through heartache we're gonna go through
disappointment we're gonna go through sadness we're gonna go through
frustration we're gonna go through stress and fear and all those types of
things it's kind of inevitable it's just part
of being a human and knowing really understanding who you are
and what works best for you to help you during
those times so i always have kind of like my
list my emergency kit right it's my first aid kit that i kind of keep in the
background and i know when i'm feeling a certain
way these are the things that i should probably start focusing on and
doing to help myself kind of get out of whatever it is that i'm going
through whether it's a funk whether it's stress whether it's anxiety
um etc so your crisis kit is kind of like your
in case of emergency um tools and so it can be a ton of different
things so i would honestly consider sitting down making a list of
what are the things that really help me when i'm going through
certain things in my life whether it's stress fear anxiety
panic attacks etc perhaps you actually do take medication for some things that
would be on the list perhaps you enjoy taking a bath with
with ebs and salt maybe that's on the list
taking a walk in nature doing acupuncture listening to a podcast who
are the podcasts that you enjoy um working out um getting more rest
so make a list of all the things that allow you to really take care of
yourself both mentally emotionally physically and spiritually
and as you go through this list of mental emotional
physical and spiritual underneath all of those you want to kind of just think of
okay well what do i what what would help me to be more
spiritual or you know what would help me to really
take care of myself emotionally you know doing affirmations that's something that
that's an emotional thing right it's gonna help you to
maintain a good emotional um well-being your mental health you know i always say
feeding your mind constantly feeding your mind whether that's reading books
whether that's um listening to a podcast listening to a
motivational speaker so you kind of have to know what works
best for you what works for me is not going to always work for you because
it's not going to always be what your driving force is may
not be my driving force and etc so you just want to really start to know
yourself and understand yourself that way you know
okay when i'm in the midst of a panic attack what do i do when i'm in the
midst of anxiety and i can't get the mind to just listen and
focus and what do i do when i'm feeling when
i'm starting to feel stress what do i do when i'm starting to feel
fear come over me and i don't want to take action towards something
what do i do so asking yourself those questions
and just being able to have a conversation where you're with yourself
where you can be honest with yourself what would
i need right now that would really help me during this time
and a lot of this really is just experimentation you just have to
experiment and see what really works for you
i have to say that was probably the biggest thing for me
that really helped me to learn how to take care of myself so now and i always
say this to people when you know that no matter what
happens to you even though you don't want to go through
uncomfortable things or pain or anything like that but that you do know that it
is a part of life and that no matter what
happens to you that you're going to be okay that you know how to take care of
yourself this is what i'm talking about the fact
that you need to know how to take care of yourself
mentally emotionally physically and spiritually is
really huge and when you trust yourself to be able to take care of yourself
you won't fear being alone you won't fear
um not being in a relationship and it's a very empowering
thing once you do know how to do this for yourself the next thing that
really helped me as i was learning how to become
mentally and emotionally healthier and stronger
was letting go of the perfectionism now i can't raise my hand and say that i'm
not a perfectionist but i am very much aware as to when
it actually starts to take over and that is huge mindfulness is always the
biggest thing that will help you in any aspect of life is you
being mindful as to okay what are the things that i need to work
on what are the things that i'm what am i saying to myself right now that's
making me feel crappy being present all of those types of
things but the perfectionism is something that you gotta really throw
out the window because literally it doesn't exist no one's ever
going to be perfect it doesn't exist and it's just not fun
who wants to go through life doing everything the right way um and
never facing any kind of a challenge or having to work hard at something or
overcoming something as much as we don't want to go through
those things we do know that when we get through them and we're on the other side
of anything it does feel amazing it feels great it's
a huge empowerment and a huge high that you get
off of knowing wow i got through that i'm badass so
stop being so hard on yourself stop expecting your body to look a certain
way you to be in a certain place in your life
you know let go of the need to want to fix
everything about you and just really love yourself for who you are in this
moment because you're a human being and we all deserve that nurturing that love
that compassion that we give everyone else in our lives
and we need to be able to give it to ourselves
so really learning how to like self nurture yourself
and allow yourself to be a human being is kind of a big thing
the next thing is changing your outlook on your life
you know this again wasn't something that i always struggled with but it was
something that i saw a lot of people struggle with
where their outlook on their future seemed so grim because of possibly
you know stuff that was going on inside themselves in terms of low self-esteem
and low confidence and things of that sort or possibly even some of the pain
from their past that they had to endure whether that was family members parents
siblings friends someone betrayed you you know your spouse left you or
whatever the case is because of something that you've been
through you then live in a space as what had happened what has happened to
me was so awful and life's never going to be good
because i went through something like that
so changing your attitude on life is really you
knowing and feeling inside that you're gonna be okay
that you have control over your life that you can actually create the life
that you want and what life do you want for yourself like having that type of
empowerment we all have that within ourselves but a
lot of the times we get stuck in this negative cycle of habitual
thinking that doesn't serve us and being able to say you know what
my only goal for 2020 is straight up changing my mindset
like focusing every single day on what am i telling myself
um and being aware of the thoughts that you're thinking and
nipping in the butt every single time you say something or you think something
that is you know pushing you back towards you feeling good
it's hard work that is hard work and i always tell people if you
sign up to do this kind of stuff number one it will change your life you
will feel amazing it's the best thing that you can ever do for yourself but it
legit is no joke it's the hardest thing that you'll ever
have to do because you're trying to transform a lot
of old habits old programming that has been embedded in you
for years is it doable yes it is but it takes work it takes effort
every single day so you know if right now you're going
through a tough spot and you're single or whatever the case is
this is your time to only focus on your mental health on you learning how
to be mentally healthy and emotionally healthy
that's it so as much as you can every single day
welcome being alone and welcome tackling all of the kind of demons that are going
on inside that will allow you to feel everything that you want to feel feel
that happiness you know have the career that you want have the
relationship you really want to attract um it really just starts with you the
next thing is self-parenting i talk about this all the time but
self-parenting is basically the process of you having
an inner dialogue with yourself so when you can have dialogue with yourself
where you're talking to your fear you know you've got fear on one side and
you've got the real you on the other side the part of you that's like
unconditional love knows how to motivate you believes in you
knows that you can do it knows you're a good person i always like to say you
always have a good angel and a bad angel and you're kind of in the middle and
you're trying to mediate this conversation that's going on between
these two voices being able to understand that whole process
is that process called self-parenting that i like to call it
and being able to do that for yourself it will literally change your entire
life one of the ways that i often tell clients to kind of start this process
because it can be a little confusing in the beginning understanding well who's
talking and there's a lot of voices going on right now
because we do we have so many thoughts every single day i want to say we have
about 75 000 thoughts in a day which is crazy and a
lot of the times you're not going to be conscious of the fact that you're
thinking um which makes it even harder so what i
always say is at any moment during the day when you
start to not feel good so i don't mean when you don't
feel like the happiest happiest ever i just mean when you're not
when you're if you're not coasting you're not feeling like okay i feel good
i'm cool like everything's good you know i'm not like happy happy but
i'm cool if you're not feeling that minimum
that if and if you're feeling anything else beneath that
you want to know why why am i feeling that way
and journaling is something that really helps you to kind of like
unleash what's going on so if you know that you're not feeling
at that minimum level that bare level of like contentment
then if you ask yourself okay well why do why don't i feel that way
a lot of the times because you haven't done this work you haven't built a
relationship with yourself meaning there's a part of you that doesn't trust
you because you probably always shame yourself
and make yourself feel guilty etc that when you ask yourself hey why do you
feel this way nothing's really going to come up or you
might get i'm fine everything's fine i don't know why i feel that way
just like you would if you were having a discussion with a partner
that you don't really trust with your feelings because oftentimes they shame
you if that's the case what are you always
going to say to that person i'm cool everything's fine because you know
they're not going to understand they're not going to be able to be there for you
and it's no different with a relationship with you within yourself
so being able to journal and kind of write down
why do you feel this way there's something about that process
that just unleashes everything that's going on
in your mental space right or in your emotional in your emotional space in
your heart space so why do you feel that way i always say
if something comes back if when you ask yourself why do you feel
that way and what comes back is i don't know
keeping that why going why why don't you know what's wrong what's bothering you
always coming from a place of concern think about someone that you really
really love if you knew you just knew just by looking at them
that they're going through something you can tell by the look on their face
and they keep lying to you they keep telling you i'm fine i'm fine
everything's fine and you know they're not fine what would
you do would you just let them go or would you keep being concerned would
you keep loving them to say i feel like something's wrong i'm here
for you what's going on and you would slowly
start to open up the lines of communication
and hopefully they would eventually begin to open up to you
so this process is literally the same thing and journaling
journaling really really helps that dialogue between yourself
the next thing and this was really huge for me
when i was especially going through my divorce is you have to find
ways healthy ways to manage your stress levels
stress is a part of life it's going to happen but what do you do
to help yourself during a stressful time again
it's like that crisis kid the mental health crisis kid
stress is going to be on that list what do you do
to help yourself during a stressful time for me
i had never worked out a day in my life until after i had my son and i was going
through my divorce because i literally had so much
feelings inside of me and therapy just wasn't enough for me to just unleash to
someone for an hour that i had to physically start
working out and i still only work out for my mental health
i don't really do it for my physical body even though i probably should
also put that on the list um i mean it's great when you start to see results and
it becomes addictive when you start to see results
but i still love food and i still love to eat
but a lot of it i just know i feel stressed right now i need to go for a
run i need to go for a walk i need to be in nature
you know not just you know the physical part of stress and handling you know
your physical body when you are going through a stressful time but
knowing what do i need to give myself you know maybe you need to plan a trip
maybe you need to just take a nap today and really rest i always say the best
thing you can ever do for yourself to really start taking care of yourself is
asking yourself every single day what do i need today
because what you're going through today is usually something that you went
through yesterday meaning if you went through a stressful day yesterday it's
going to carry over a little bit in today meaning
you might need to take care of yourself a little bit because maybe yesterday you
didn't because you focused on the kids or
you know you worked 12 hours that day it was a stressful day at work
whatever it is so it's gonna carry over a little bit into your next day and so
always staying in tune with yourself to what do you
need today that will allow you to be at your best that is really you taking
care of yourself right there that is mental health and lastly i think
the best thing you can ever do for yourself is just invest in
yourself when i say you know make it a point every day to
ask yourself what you need spend investing in yourself is so much it's
and give yourself time to take care of yourself give you
know financially invest in yourself whether that is coaching whether it is a
personal trainer whether that that is a gym membership
whether that is taking a class a pottery class that you always want to
do and starting a new hobby like whether it's taking tennis lessons
whatever it is you know invest in going on a trip with friends giving
yourself time away from day to day mundane things of life or
work or stress or whatever you know you deserve the vacation and
you deserve you know going to a nice gym and
having someone tell you what to do so you can get your physical body where you
want it to be love yourself enough to give yourself
whatever it is that you can possibly give yourself
um to show yourself that you're worth it so i hope you guys have enjoyed this
video if you did please give it a thumbs up and don't forget to click subscribe
if you are interested in doing any private coaching with me i will link
everything down below you can contact me there
if you are interested as well in my nine week
online course it's basically me coaching you online i will also
link that down below so you can read about what um what goes into my course
as well as private coaching so i will see you next week