Okay, mail call, boys. Let's see, who do we have?
Lefty.
Fats.
Fingers.
Einstein.
Gretch, Chuckles, Bingo, Blammey, Wheels, Boogey,
Red, Trip, Wings, Skeeter, Stinky.
Thanks, SpongeBob!
[music playing]
Ahoy, there, mateys. Welcome to the Krabby O'Mondays.
It's my birthday.
Can I start you off with--
Will you sing the Krabby Monday's
birthday song to my special little man?
Happy, happy birthday.
[sighing] Happy, happy--
Uh, Squidward. Can I talk to you for a second?
What's our motto here at Krabby O'Mondays?
Sincere service with a smile.
Well, yes, but with the Krabby O'Mondays spirit.
Now, Squidward, you wouldn't want
to have to talk to human resources...
would you?
So, what's our motto again?
Uh. Uh.
Sincere service with a smile.
Now you're getting it.
Let's see if I wired everything right.
[humming]
Perfect.
Yeah!
[music playing]
Huh? Ooh. Music.
I didn't know the Krusty Krab had a lounge.
Oh.
[music playing]
Shake a leg there, would ya?
Oh, come on in, everyone. Try the funk, it's fresh.
[loud chatter, music playing]
[whistling]
[loud chatter, music playing]
I sure dig that. There we go. Yay.
Squilliam, I've got to explain.
Explain what? That you, Squidward Tentacles voted
most likely to suck eggs in high school
are trying to pass off a lousy burger stand
as a five star... restaurant?
Hommina, hommina, hommina, hommina, hommina,
hommina, hommina, hommina, hommina, hommina,
hommina, hommina, hommina, hommina, hommina.
Table for Hommina? I can seat you immediately!
[whispering] How did you do all this?
It was easy, once I cleared my mind.
But what about Krabs and Patrick?
Taken care of.
[grunting]
Right this way, please.
Good evening, sir. From our menu tonight,
might I recommend the Krabby Newburg?
We take the finest cuts of aged, imported kelp,
stuff them with herbs from our garden,
wrap them in parchment with our award-winning
shallot tapenade, slow-roast them for six hours
in our wood-fired, clay-filled oven, or kiva,
and serve them with a garnish of wilted coral
on a mahogany plank.
Mmm... this is fantastic!
Thank you, sir.
Pinch me, I must be dreaming. Ow!
If you need anything else, just call.
SpongeBob, I can't thank you enough for all you're doing.
Fine dining and breathing is all I know how to do.
[laughing]
[groaning]
It's a shame, old man Krabs sold the Krusty Krab.
It's a darn shame. Hey, lady!
You know where we can get something to eat around here?
That's it! I quit!
[whistle blowing]
Finally, a cool place for teens to just, you know, hang out.
Pearl, you're a genius.
All these young, hip, new customers.
Phooey on Squidward. He can't keep up with the times.
You're a true visionary, Pearl.
Thank you, SpongeBob. I do have 20/20 vision.
Well, hip people have to eat too.
Back to the grill.
The customers may be hot, but my grill is hotter.
[sizzling sound]
SpongeBob, order up.
Two sal-lads. Never heard of it.
I've got to stay hip.
I don't want to end up like silly old Squidward.
But what in the name of Davy Jones's locker
is a sal-lad?
Here you go, two sal-lads.
Ew, gross. Those aren't salads.
Take those back. Remove the bun, the patty and the condiments.
But that leaves just lettuce and tomato.
Exactly.
All right.
Okay. No buns.
That's hip. No, patty's. Happening.
Oh, yeah, that's definitely the coolest meal I ever saw.
This is so cool.
Two salads.
This tastes nice.
Ow. Curses, foiled again. Ow.
You turned the Krusty Krab into some kind of museum?
That's right, me boy. It's all history now,
but you, you have the most important job of all.
You give tours
and sell tchotchkes in the gift shop.
Yeah, but what if someone wants a Krabby Patty?
We've got plenty of Krabby Patties
right here in the freezer.
Ding.
You see?
Customers at the museum can cook the patties themselves,
like this. [humming]
Yeah, it's so convenient, see? [chuckles]
And what about me?
Don't worry, Squidward, you're fired.
Well, do I get rehired for a new job
with the museum, too?
Ha. No, you're just fired.
What? No, you don't fire me, I quit.
I've got my resignation letter all prepared.
Dear, Mr. Krabs-
Do you have a ticket, sir?
You can't be in the museum without a ticket.
[stammering]
I tender my resignation from this greasy establishment.
Too long have I tolled under your iron claw!
Now I am free!
Free to live my dreams of being a ballet dancer! Ha ha!
And the first chair clarinet in the Bikini Bottom Orchestra!
Ha-ha, and I am going to finally publish
my mystery thriller novel, 'Dial D for Doily'!
Ooh.
[chattering]
[clearing throat]
Hello, and welcome to the Krusty Krab Museum,
the original home of the Krabby Patty,
now available in the frozen food section
of your local supermarket.
Oh, and don't forget to buy souvenirs at the gift shop.
Atta boy, embrace the future!
La, la, la, la, la, la, la! Wow.
Okay, a little lower! Lower! That's perfect!
Good morning, sir. What's with the new sign?
Oh, just making a few cosmetic changes.
Oh, you mean like when Squidward had
that mole taken of his--
Uh, yeah, a little bit like that.
Morning, Squidward!
Ooh! Squidward, where did you find those shoes?
[hissing]
Look, it's him!
Mr. SquarePants, can I have your autograph?
- No. - But, why?
Well, the first reason is, I have no use of my arms. See?
Ow!
Hey, what's going on over here?
He hit me, just cause I wanted his autograph!
Squidward! I'm sorry, little girl.
Of course you can have his autograph,
for five bucks.
What a rip!
Look at these, Squidward! [chuckles]
Looks like some horrific shroud.
They're our new Krusty Sponge napkins!
Extra absorbent. [laughing]
You really need to see a doctor.
Oh, that reminds me, Squidward.
I need you to unpack these boxes.
- What's in them? - Condiments.
We got "Tangy Spongy Sauce" and "Mild Bobby Sauce"
for the not-so-daring.
Oh, clever.
Captain! My spatula's missing, sir!
I got it right here. Here you go, Squidward.
You're on grill duty now.
But that's SpongeBob's job!
Don't worry, Squidward.
I got something else lined up for him.
[music playing]
Step right up, folks.
Take a ride on the Krusty Sponge Fun Train!
Tickets are only $1.98. Seat belts not included.
[cheering]
Okay, how am I gonna do this now?
[groaning]
Mommy, is that you?
[panting]
[whistle blowing]
Mr. Krabs, I really think
I should be getting back to the grill now.
Are you kidding, lad?
Just look at all these paying customers.
Who's ready for another lap?!
[cheering]
Keep on truckin', SpongeBob.
I've got some important business to see to in me office.
Wow! What happen to the Krusty Krab?
Good morning.
The Krusty Towers is now open for business.
Why did you build a hotel, Mr. Krabs?
I'm glad you asked, son.
Remember when I went to that fast food convention
and stayed in that fancy hotel?
I had a beautiful room. The employees were so friendly.
They catered to me ever whim, no matter how demeaning it was,
because they lived by a code.
And that code was engraved in fine gold
above the grand fireplace.
Everything was perfect, until I got the bill.
They charged me for everything.
$25 for a hamburger!
[gasping]
If they can charge that much for a lousy burger,
imagine how much I can charge for a lousy Krabby Patty.
And thus, the Krusty Towers was born.
Why would anyone stay at a hotel in Bikini Bottom?
It's in the middle of scenic nowhere.
There's nothing to do but get stung by jellyfish. See.
Ew.
Come inside.
Isn't it beautiful?
Where are all the new hotel employees?
[gasping] Me first hotel guest.
Watch me reel 'em in.
Welcome to the Krusty Towers, where our motto is...
Ah, that's great. I'd like a Double Krabby Patty
with no onions and extra pickles.
If you want a Krabby Patty,
you'll have to rent a room and order room service.
Ooh, I've only got an hour for lunch.
[sighing]
Order up.
Where's my food?!
Mm.
I want my Krabby Flabby!
Coming right up, sir.
Ow!
Delicious!
[whistle blowing, cheering]
Wow, that looks like fun.
I'll have two Krabby Patties but don't cook them.
I'll have two frozen Krabby Patties, too.
Yes, sir.
I want patty skates.
I need two patties now.
It's beautiful.
I'm selling twice as many patties
and I don't even have to cook 'em.
This is the happiest and most cost effective day
of me whole life.
[laughing]
[Plankton] No! How is this possible?
I freeze his place solid
and he turns it into an ice rink.
He's making more money than ever.
It's because, unlike you, he's a good businessman.
Well, if it isn't the wind beneath my wings.
I don't understand why you don't just steal
a Krabby Patty in all that confusion.
I'll be right back.
[laughing]
[sighing] I don't know why I encourage him.
Whee! Whoa!
This is fantastic.
The local hockey team is paying me to practice here.
Coming through!
Hi, Patrick!
Hi, SpongeBob.
[whistling]
Where'd the puck go?
Holy shrimp! Plankton!
I did it. I finally got a Krabby Patty.
Not quite, Plankton.
You'll have to get past me first.
There's the puck. That little square guy has it.
Get 'em.
[yelps]
[laughing] Yes!
[whistle blowing]
Whoa oh oh!
You're mine now, Plankton!
There you go!
See, now we got two drive thrus, two lines,
and I'll make money twice as fast!
[laughing]
Hmm! That should work perfectly!
[honking]
Okay! Who had the Double Krabby Patty
with fries and extra chee-?
[yelling]
SpongeBob! Order up!
I'm on it!
Hurry, SpongeBob! I got 26 more orders!
26 orders up!
No, no, no! Not that window! The other one!
Squidward, are you sure?!
These customers over here look really, really hungry!
[yelling]
And these ones don't?!
[honking]
Hey, hey, hey, watch it, will ya?!
I just had this thing repainted!
And I just had this repainted!
I see you used the extra-glossy.
Chum nuggets here! Going fast!
Get 'em while they're cold! Get 'em while they're runny!
Looks like Krabs' drive thru is really paying off...
for me! [laughing]
Oh, no... not again. [screaming]
Oh, darn it! Now there's a line!
[humming]
[laughing]
[groaning]
[music playing]
Would you like our house red or our house yellow?
[laughing]
[music playing]
Ta-da!
[wedding march playing]
And now, the couple will exchange their vows.
Eugene, you have everything I've ever wanted in a man:
an exoskeleton, freakishly long eyestalks,
and the secret Krabby Patty formula.
Awe.
Cashina, you came into my life,
when I thought I'd live the rest of it alone.
You showed me once and for all:
that while money can't buy you love,
it can... give you love.
Awe.
You may now kiss the bride.
[cheering]