-Welcome to the show. -Oh, thank you for having me.
Uh, you know, a lot of the time, they say
that, uh, the best comedy comes from the biggest tragedies,
and in many ways, your life could be considered by some
as being a rolling series of tragedies
that you've turned into comedy and you've turned into success.
A little bit of your story would shock most people out there.
You are someone who came to America as a refugee.
-Correct. -From Kuwait, correct?
-I was born in Kuwait. -Right.
-I left Kuwait after the first Gulf War. -Right.
Which I like to call the prequel. Uh...
-(laughter) -I...
I went to a really nice private British English school
in Kuwait, and then, uh, we migrated to Houston, Texas.
-And, uh... -That's a culture shock.
It's a culture shock.
And they put me in ESL class,
which is, English as a second language class,
and I was the first... only guy that spoke English in the class.
(laughter)
I walk in. All the kids are, like...
Hola. (speaking Spanish)
I'm like... Had a hint of a British accent.
I'm like, "Sorry. What language are you speaking?"
All of a sudden, this other dude just rolls up out of nowhere.
He's like... (with accent): "You're weird, dude!
Why do you talk like that, eh?"
And that was my teacher. It was a very weird... situation.
(laughter, applause)
This... Like, here-here's the thing.
A lot of the time when, you know...
when we have these conversations in America
about about, like, immigrant, refugee, etcetera,
-it's always, like a... like a sad story. -Yeah.
It's always, like, you know, these people
who need this place as a refuge.
But-but you-you really have an interesting story
about how your mom was the driving force
behind getting your family to the U.S.
-and starting up a new life. -Yup.
Just from your perspective, like,
how would you try to explain to somebody what it is like
to be a refugee, and how hard it is
to come into the United States?
Um, it's really difficult to explain or put into words
the excruciating process of getting your citizenship.
-Right. -It took me 20 years...
-Wow. -to get my citizenship.
I traveled all over the world
doing standup comedy without a passport.
Wait. How do you... how do you travel without a passport?
They give you a United States travel document
that's only good for, like, a year, and then, you have...
You know, most countries need more your validity
-on your passport to even enter the country. -Right.
It's incredibly complicated.
Most case, I'm not even allowed to go,
but I just would go and see what would happen, anyway.
-(laughter) -Uh...
I would get questioned in a lot of different countries.
-Uh, you know... -So, let me understand this.
-Yeah. -You are a, uh...
Palestinian-Kuwaiti Muslim
traveling the world with no passport, and you were like,
"Yeah, I want to try to do this in more countries."
-Yeah. -(laughter)
How many times... how many times did you get...
how many times did you get stopped?
-Like, how many times were... -Every time.
No, it was every time. To the point to when I became
a citizen and I was reentering America,
and he was like, "Okay, go ahead,"
and I was like, "No, you sure? I think there's another...
"there's something else that needs to happen here.
I feel awkward. Can we just talk for a little while and..."
-(laughter) -I'm serious. I did.
It's a...
-(applause) -I was like, "What's going on?"
I was like, "No..."
I was like, "No, we need to chat a little bit."
Like, Japan was my favorite interrogation I ever had.
It was just an hour of them trying to figure out
what I did for a living.
Uh, the entire hour, for real, consisted of,
"So, what is your occupation?"
I was like, "Oh, I'm a comedian."
He's like, "Comedian?" I'm like, "Yeah, yeah,
I do standup comedy." "Standup a-comed-ah?"
I'm like, "Yeah. I'm a...
-I do comedy." -"Comed-ah?"
"Yeah, I do... I'm a comedian."
-"Comedian?" -I'm like, "Am I being roasted right now?
-What's happening?" -(laughter)
Finally, his buddy walks in, his partner, he's like,
(imitates speaking Japanese): ...comedian-ah."
And he goes, "Oh, yeah, he's like Bill Cosby!"
(laughter, gasps)
And that's what got me off, was Bill Cosby.
I mean, not literally, not literally.
(laughter)
I figure that's what got...
So, now, um, you-you have this really interesting journey.
Growing up in America, takes 20 years to become a resident.
-Um... -Citizen. A citizen.
Citizen. Yeah, sorry. Citizen, right?
And-and here's the thing that I've always wondered,
from your perspective.
You know, do you ever find yourself in a space where,
because you speak about things that are happening in the U.S.,
people are like, "Hey, you should just be grateful
"to be in the U.S.-- don't talk about anything
"that might be going wrong in the U.S.,
because the U.S. has welcomed you in"?
Yeah. Um, nah. (laughs)
I mean, look, as an Arab American,
uh, Muslim, Palestinian on top of it,
you know, someone who's fled war--
I was nine years old, so I didn't really know...
It's not like, "Hey, Mom, are you sure about Houston?"
-You just had to go, you know what I mean? -Right.
And I'm a very proud Houstonian, and I grew up in Alief,
which is a really multicultural neighborhood,
but the thing is, is, like, growing up that way,
I was always, you know, told to not talk about politics,
not say anything, 'cause they're gonna send us back.
-Wow. -That was the whole thing.
"Shh. Don't say anything. They're gonna send you back."
You know? "Make sure you don't talk about pol..."
I was like, you know, all this stuff
that's been festering inside for so many years...
That's why, when I started standup comedy,
it was the perfect outlet for me to allow me to express
everything that was happening to me.
And also, you know, releasing the special
and seeing the reaction from so many different people
that can relate to the same story,
that have refugee... that are refugees,
that went through a similar process, that are, you know,
dealing with the immigration system right now.
They talk about "extreme vetting."
I mean, my God, it took us 20 years.
How much more extreme could it be?
Well, they want it to take forever.
(laughs): Yeah. That's the point.
And so it's very, very frustrating.
But at this point in time, I'm an American citizen,
so in your face, bitch, I say whatever I want!
(cheering, whooping, applause)
You... you become really confident
-once you get that passport. -(laughter)
Once I had a passport, like, "Whatcha gonna do now?!"
They-they can take it away from you.
-Can they? Oh, shit. -(laughter)
That's what... that's... that was one of the things
that, like, you know, people were talking about with Trump.
They said, like, "Oh, you never know what he's gonna do.
You never know..." You know, Trump was floating ideas,
like: are citizenships real, have people lied about being...
et cetera, et cetera.
And a lot of people who are, uh, refugees
or maybe came to the U.S. as immigrants
had this connection with Trump where they were worried.
You had a different connection with Trump,
which is one of the reasons you-you came into prominence.
Really insane story, where you found yourself on a plane,
seated next to Eric Trump.
That's... Yeah.
Um, you know... being a frequent flier helped sometimes to...
I didn't know this was gonna happen.
-Like, I was upgrading to first class, -Right.
and I ended up sitting next to Eric Trump.
I didn't even know I was gonna get upgraded,
'cause I put my name on the list way too late.
You know, comedians are... you know,
-the best procrastinators in the business, -Yep, yep, yep.
and, uh, and I didn't know I was gonna get upgraded,
much less sit next to Eric, but I do know one thing--
the lady that upgraded me is probably a Clinton supporter.
You know? Let's be real. She was probably sitting there
like, "Oh, Eric Trump is on my flight?
Okay. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh."
I don't why she has a mustache, but, "Okay. Mm-hmm.
"Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
"Oh, there's a empty seat next to Eric?
"Let me take a look at this upgrade list,
"see who's standing by patiently here.
"Oh, Mohammed Mustafa Amer?
-Upgrade!" You know? -(laughter)
(cheering)
Oh, dude.
Could I tell you, man, I've seen your standup on the road.
Uh, you were amazing opening for Dave Chappelle.
The special is truly phenomenal.
I tell everyone to go out and watch it.
Thanks so much for coming on the show.
-Thank you so much for having me. -I hope to see you again.
The Vagabond is currently available on Netflix.
Please go and watch it. Mo Amer, everybody.