Heya playa, if you want to make your middle school relationship last or even work in the
first place, there's a few things you're gonna need to prioritize in your relationship so,
I'm gonna share what they are right after this.
For those of you that are new here, my name is Josh and every single Monday through Friday
I make videos sharing tips, ideas and stories teaching you how to be your best self.
Now one of the first things that most people in middle school that want to get into a relationship
don't really do is develop a friendship first.
Sometimes you like someone, or you meet them and they seem pretty cool and you immediately
jump into a relationship and start calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend when you
don't really know each other at all.
I know sometimes there's this pressure from the people around you even just the desire
to want to have a boyfriend or girlfriend but you have to start at the very beginning
which is really getting to know them, to see if they're a good partner for you, to see
if you guys fit and most importantly to see if you guys feel comfortable with each other.
I can't even tell you how many times people have reached out to me about their middle
school relationships and have said things like "Josh, I need your help.
I have a boyfriend but I've never spoken to him before.
How do I get close to him?".
And it really makes me wonder how you guys decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend if
you've never really had a full on conversation before.
I think sometimes people jump into relationships because they see someone online, they think
they look cute, and they ask them out.
But the problem with doing that is you don't really know if you can really connect with
this person.
You don't really know anything about them so how can you call them a boyfriend or girlfriend
if the two of you aren't even close as friends?
That's why I think you gotta spend more time learning about them.
Learning about their interests, their hobbies, what their family life is like, what they
do on the weekends for fun and all these different types of things you can ask them.
Try to really spend time learning about their interests.
Just like I said in yesterdays middle school video, if you find something that the two
of you connect over, that may be the bridge you need to kind of really build that bond
with them.
Ok I get it, the two of you are friends, you found something in common, now how do you
really make that relationship blossom?
Well, the next point might scare you a little bit but I think it's to learn how to be friends
with their friends.
A lot of people in middle school like to keep their relationship separate from their friend
group.
And I totally understand why.
You have a different connection with your friends then you do with your boyfriend or
girlfriend so, bringing them together might merge those two worlds and make you personally
feel awkward.
But what I'm saying is you don't need to be buddy buddy or best friends with your boyfriend
or girlfriend's friends.
You just need to be on good terms with them.
The kind of terms where you can say hi to them, you can talk to them if you need to
and it doesn't feel awkward when all of you guys are together.
In middle school, everyone turns to their friend group for advice so the friend group
can have a huge impact on a person's decision.
So wouldn't it make sense for you to be on good terms with them?
For you to openly speak to them?
For you guys to like each other so they won't spread rumors, say bad things or tell your
boyfriend or girlfriend to break up with you?
If the two of you are serious about each other, it only makes sense to be open about your
relationship in front of your friends and in front of everyone at the whole school.
Woah Josh, take a step back!
I'm not ready for all the rumors and the jokes that'll be made simply because I'm in a relationship
and I'm dating someone.
I don't want to deal with any of that but I do want to make my relationship work so
how do I navigate that?
Well, the reason why I think honesty is the best policy is because the more open and honest
you are, the less you're going to need to hide from everyone.
Once you stop pretending like you're not in a relationship.
you can't be as open and vocal about the things you want to with your boyfriend or girlfriend.
You need to pretend like "yeah, we're just friends" or even worse, you don't even know
them which is not a fun thing to do.
And I know you may get made fun of for being in a relationship but think about it like
this.
Your friends are gonna make fun of you for finding someone that makes you happy.
Why does that make sense?
In the beginning I'm sure your friends will make fun of you and tease you but over time
I'm sure they're going to get used to the fact that you're in a relationship and they're
going to get over talking about it.
And if you've gotten over that hurdle with your friends, the next thing you're going
to want to focus on is showing affection for your partner.
Being able to hold their hands, hug them, lay your head against their shoulder, all
these different things that show them that hey, you really like them.
First and foremost, it's important to know what your girlfriend or boyfriend is comfortable
with.
Don't ever do something that is past their level of comfort.
The whole purpose is for the two of you to work together.
Not for you to make advancements and for them to move backward.
And with middle school relationships, they can sometimes last a long time or they can
end after a day or two so, don't be so hung up on whether or not this person is going
to be your girlfriend or boyfriend forever.
Recognize that there's a fluidity to life and be ok with the idea that hey, one day
we're friends, one day we're going out and the next day we're back to friends again.
But now I want to know, what do you think?
Have you ever been in a middle school relationship before?
Are you looking forward to having one once you get into middle school?
Leave your comments down below and we'll talk about it.
On that note guys, thank you so much for watching.
If you enjoyed the video hit the thumbs up button and if you're interested in relationships
and learning how to make them work for you, someone in middle school, check out my book
Embracing The Awkward where I go way more in depth on how to build better relationships
with people.
I'll link it up over here so you can click it and check out the playlist right under
it where I talk all about middle school development.
How to make relationships work, how to deal with being the new kid, all those different
kinds of things you may be struggling with.
And on that note guys, I'll catch you tomorrow.
As always, love and peace.