Today we look at the history of SpongeBob SquarePants, let's begin!
It all starts way, way, way, way, way, way, way back!
Meet Primitive Sponge.
[screaming]
SpongeBob's oldest known ancestor.
Although quite similar to SpongeBob in appearance,
note the sloping forehead, considerable overbite and fanged teeth.
Primitive Sponge was not known as the most intelligent creature in the sea,
communicating in a series of growls and grunts.
[screaming]
However he was noticeably strong with quite a high tolerance for pain.
[screaming]
OK, please stop doing that, it's clearly very painful.
This was the beginning of the long line of SquarePants ancestry.
As we travel further up the coral tree of life,
many generations have passed and we finally arrive at SpongeGar.
The next evolution in the SquarePants lineage.
As you can see, SpongeGar is already closer in appearance to SpongeBob
then his primordial predecessor.
SpongeGar was far more advanced than Primitive Sponge,
which was evidenced by the development of clothes,
- a language system, - Banooga ready!
tool usage, curiosity for new discoveries and the domestication of animals.
It's interesting how much bigger prehistoric Gary was,
compared to modern day Gary, but that's for another episode.
[screaming]
[crashing]
It's also important to note that SpongeGar,
along with his oddly familiar friends, Patar and Squog,
had a monumental impact on global history and discovered fire!
[screaming]
Now we travel even further up the three, many generations later.
Much, much later...
You get the point... anyways, we finally get to SpongeBuck SquarePants.
Howdy do, y'all!
Very similar to SpongeBob in appearance,
apart from the red bowtie, striped shirt,
this little chain thingy and black bowler hat.
Now SpongeBuck was something of a western hero in his time.
Saving the town of Dead Eye Gulch
from Dead Eye Plankton years and years ago.
[screaming]
Huh?
[cheering]
I hate all of you.
In fact, he's the only known SquarePants descendant
to live outside of Bikini Bottom.
Meaning somewhere between SpongeGar and SpongeBuck,
the SquarePants clan migrated elsewhere.
Now fast forward sometime and we will reach
the patriarch of the modern SquarePants family, Grandpa SquarePants.
Aside from his wise sayings such as...
If we were meant to fly, we'd have propellers on our heads
or jet engines on our backs!
Not much is known about Grandpa SquarePants
and he has not been seen for some time.
We do know that he married a sponge now known as Grandma SquarePants.
- SpongeBob! - Hi, Grandma!
A loving, motherly figure of Bikini Bottom.
Known for her kisses...
[kissing]
- Her cookies.. - Oh, yeah!
[munching]
And her sweaters which are made with love in each stitch.
It's important to note that SpongeBob also had a maternal grandmother,
Grandma BubbleBottom.
Unfortunately all records have been lost on Grandma BubbleBottom.
The only thing we know is that her child is Margaret BubbleBottom.
But more on that later.
Back to grandpa and grandma SquarePants.
Travel up one generation and they had children of their own!
There's Blue SquarePants, an old retired police captain.
You're not cut out for this kind of work, boy.
Do you have any idea what the people I catch do to people like you?
You mean, they won't give me a push on the swing set?
Well, let's just say, I hope you've practiced walking without legs.
Or arms.
Or a body.
Sherm SquarePants, who's claim to fame is shoving watermelons up his nose.
And SpongeBob's father, Harold SquarePants.
A simple man who likes to take care of his son.
He married Margaret SquarePants, maiden name BubbleBottom,
after the previously mentioned, grandma BubbleBottom.
SpongeBob! Hi, honey, we're here!
Come on, SpongeBob!
Hurry, hurry, son, your mother has dinner waiting.
And that brings us to the sponge that everyone knows and loves.
SpongeBob SquarePants!
But it turns out SpongeBob is not the only SquarePants his age!
No, he has plenty of cousins.
There's Stanley S. SquarePants, son of Sherm SquarePants.
Thankfully the watermelon shoving thing was not hereditary.
Although Stanley comes with his own set of peculiarities.
One being that he destroys almost everything he touches.
- Glad to meet you, partner. - Nice to meet you--
[ripping]
Uh-oh.
Gosh, darn it!
There's Todd SquarePants, parents unknown.
Who is very similar to SpongeBob in appearance
with a slightly quirkier style.
And then there's BlackJack SquarePants,
parents also unknown but a cousin nonetheless!
Did you come here to quiver like a jellyfish?
Or did you come to wrestle?
To quiver!
It doesn't stop for a second, look back at the crazy set of events
that came together in just the right way to give us this absorbent and yellow
and porous best friend we all have.
We realize that back is not the only direction we can look.
That's right, thanks to our special time machine,
we can go into the future and take a glimpse
at future generations of the SquarePants lineage.
If we take our time machine... oh, let's say...
75 years later.
We come to realize that SpongeBob will have a grandson!
Simply known as SpongeBob's grandson.
Ssh!
I just beat my high score!
Oh, yeah!
The kids today!
Oh, man, look at those eyebrows and that ear hair!
Woah, that is gross!
Er... sorry, er, excuse me, where was I?
And if we take a look even further, say...
2000 years later.
SpongeBob evolves into a robot species.
I am SpongeTron.
Welcome to the future!
Who apparently have the ability to multiply!
- Jellyfishing! - Jellyfishing!
Did somebody say jellyfishing?
Hi, Patron!
Woah, that's a lot of SpongeTrons!
Future!
Future--
Thanks.
Well, that's it!
Join us next time as we discover the interesting ancestry
in yet another fascinating chapter of Nickelodeon's history
on Nick Family Tree!