[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
CUBBY: So hi.
I'm Cubby, and I'm not supposed to be in
this chair right now.
The lady tells me to get down, but I have not
seen her in a while.
She is supposed to be here, I think.
So for now, I'm going to do this "Flog" thing.
I like my tie.
Oh, I have one of those Trio Mio things.
Number one this week is sleeping.
Sleeping is what happens when you stay in one spot too long.
I like sleeping because I am good at it
and can do it anywhere.
Number two is eating treats.
Sometimes lady gives these to me.
Sometimes I find them in the forbidden dog bowl.
The risk of getting to the forbidden dog bowl is great,
but so are the rewards until lady finds the forbidden dog
bowl in the living room.
Number three is pooping.
I don't know where it comes from or why it happens, but it
is very satisfying.
I do it when I can.
Sometimes I do it for fun.
Sometimes I do it to express myself.
Dogs of world, let your butt be your paintbrush.
So before she left, guy who always smells like French
fries and Mountain Dew came here, and they yelled at each
other while playing a game about basketball players who
burst into flames without dying.
I don't get it.
[VIDEO GAME SOUNDS]
FELICIA DAY: All right, we're back.
RYON DAY: Hey, what do we got today?
FELICIA DAY: I guess right to it.
We are going to do--
RYON DAY: I'm all business.
FELICIA DAY: All business.
I'm going to play a sports game.
Literally, I have never played a sports game before, like, in
physical world or virtual world.
I've never actually--
I think maybe when I was a kid I did a softball game.
And I remember the ball flew at me in
an aggressive manner--
RYON DAY: So a computer softball game or a--
FELICIA DAY: No.
That was real when I was a kid.
And that was it.
RYON DAY: It's a pretty scary game, softball.
FELICIA DAY: So we're going to play-- what are we playing?
NBA Jam.
RYON DAY: NBA Jam.
FELICIA DAY: Tournament edition.
Start.
These are not people on the team anymore, huh?
RYON DAY: No.
You would hope not.
That's why they aren't winning championships.
They're still fielding players from '94.
FELICIA DAY: I'm ready.
I'm going to be the rookies, and I'm going to be this
Mattress guy.
RYON DAY: [LAUGHS].
Mattress.
FELICIA DAY: Look!
Is his name Mattress and HBO?
RYON DAY: That's what it looks like to me.
FELICIA DAY: What do you do?
RYON DAY: Look at those short shorts.
OK, ready?
FELICIA DAY: Wait.
Am I one?
What's going on?
How do I shoot?
Oh, B shoots.
No, I need to block you.
How do I do that?
RYON DAY: Oh, what the--
FELICIA DAY: Whoa, I bl--
Oh, [BLEEP].
I did that!
Shoot clock violation, what does that mean?
RYON DAY: Shoot clock.
Oh, yeah.
FELICIA DAY: How do I block?
RYON DAY: Boom shaka laka.
FELICIA DAY: No, how do I block?
RYON DAY: Boom shaka laka.
FELICIA DAY: No, no.
Stop saying that.
RYON DAY: [LAUGHS].
FELICIA DAY: What was that?
Look at that.
Did you see a slingshot?
[LAUGHTER]
FELICIA DAY: That was not realistic.
Am I even controlling CPU?
RYON DAY: No.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, that's why he's better
than the other one.
RYON DAY: It's got a mind of its--
That's why he's better than you?
That's why Mattress is doing better than HBO?
FELICIA DAY: How do you get the ball from the air, though?
RYON DAY: How do you get the ball from the air?
I don't even know what that means.
FELICIA DAY: Why do I keep shooting from way over there?
See, this is not fun.
I don't know either of these sports, the video game sport
or the regular sport that I'm playing now.
RYON DAY: Oh, that must make you a casual gamer.
FELICIA DAY: I think that the CPU is playing the one that's
doing things.
RYON DAY: [LAUGHS].
FELICIA DAY: No!
You did not steal my ball!
I hate you.
This is the worst game ever.
No.
RYON DAY: 50-33.
FELICIA DAY: Who won?
RYON DAY: I did.
Hate to spoil this, but.
FELICIA DAY: So from what I understand is that there are
codes that you can unlock special players.
RYON DAY: Oh, look at that.
FELICIA DAY: I'm Hillary Clinton!
RYON DAY: [LAUGHS].
FELICIA DAY: Look at her hair.
It's so big.
RYON DAY: Wow, that's a young Hillary Clinton.
She should be a La--
FELICIA DAY: Laker girl.
I know that because I'm from LA.
RYON DAY: And I've got DJ Jazzy Jeff.
FELICIA DAY: I love Mattress.
Hey, Mattress.
RYON DAY: It's not doing it for me.
FELICIA DAY: You stole my guy!
Oh, look at her.
She's got skinny thighs.
No.
Which ones am I?
I have the pink shorts on.
RYON DAY: We all kind of look the same.
FELICIA DAY: No, I have pink shorts on.
RYON DAY: Why is Hillary Clinton just jumping up and
down in the middle of the--
FELICIA DAY: Look at her dunk.
Look at that [BLEEP].
OK, she can take a three pointer.
Hey, you made her fall down!
OK, I don't like this.
No, no.
RYON DAY: I just mugged the Secretary of State.
FELICIA DAY: You just totally felt her up.
I love playing Hillary.
I'm going to play this guy, Tupac.
Look at that, look at that.
Uh, yes!
Hillary just--
yes.
Negotiate like it's Israel, come on.
RYON DAY: [LAUGHS].
FELICIA DAY: No, come on.
This is Afghanistan.
Make it count.
RYON DAY: [LAUGHS].
Oh, I intercepted, I intercepted!
RYON DAY: What the hell?
FELICIA DAY: I don't know any of the controls, even though I
have Hillary on my side.
RYON DAY: There's three buttons.
Come on, dog.
FELICIA DAY: How come you have HBO?
RYON DAY: Because I'm the rookies.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, yeah.
I forgot I put the rookies.
RYON DAY: Peeler?
FELICIA DAY: Peeler.
You could just give him a chance.
I don't want to put him on the sideline.
RYON DAY: He's got a creepy skeletal look to
him, doesn't he?
FELICIA DAY: He does.
He needs a little more face fat.
RYON DAY: Because that's what basketball players need, a
little more fat.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, Hillary.
RYON DAY: Right off to a good start.
What the [BLEEP]?
FELICIA DAY: Ah!
She's like, hey, Peru, Greece, what up?
Fix your financial system.
And here's three points in your face.
RYON DAY: What the hell?
Why are you doing so well?
FELICIA DAY: Because Hillary is playing.
She's bringing her game.
Hey, Soviet Union, stop with the trade embargoes, yo.
RYON DAY: Soviet Union?
Oh, man.
That's wide open all day long.
FELICIA DAY: No.
RYON DAY: Ugh, what?
No!
FELICIA DAY: What?
RYON DAY: How do you miss that, Mattress?
FELICIA DAY: [LAUGHS].
RYON DAY: No, that was Jazzy Jeff.
This is getting pretty grim for me.
[LAUGHTER]
FELICIA DAY: Did you see that?
RYON DAY: Hillary!
FELICIA DAY: No, this is--
RYON DAY: You never knew old Hill had it in her, did you?
Oh, no!
FELICIA DAY: Yes!
So close!
RYON DAY: All right, going into the fourth, the situation
looks dire for DJ Jazzy Jeff.
You're out, HBO.
You're out.
I'm benching your ass.
Mattress, you're in.
And DJ Jazzy Jeff is the cornerstone.
FELICIA DAY: Peeler and Clinton, like this.
They're going to bring down the wall.
RYON DAY: You're using late '80s--
[LAUGHS].
FELICIA DAY: Yes, Peeler, yes!
RYON DAY: Stop it!
[BLEEP].
FELICIA DAY: Go.
No!
Get in the [BLEEP]
ba--
RYON DAY: No!
FELICIA DAY: Goaltending!
Goaltending!
It!
RYON DAY: No!
I can't believe this.
Nine seconds.
[LAUGHS].
FELICIA DAY: No!
No!
RYON DAY: No!
FELICIA DAY: I won!
I won!
Oh, [BLEEP]!
Well, this just goes to show you, LA Lakers, if you had
Hillary Clinton on your team, you would have done better at
the Champs.
RYON DAY: And it just goes to show you that DJ Jazzy Jeff
ritually deserves his complete obscurity.
You let me down, man.
You're no Fresh Prince.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, Hillary.
Oh, wow.
RYON DAY: I still got to give this game--
FELICIA DAY: Two thumbs up.
RYON DAY: Four thumbs up total.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, that's my first sports game ever.
Woman power.
OK.
Well, we'll see you next time.
RYON DAY: Thanks a lot.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
CUBBY: This week's question of note comes from Shelly, who
asks Cubby, "What web show would you host on your own if
you could Cubby?" Hi, Shelly.
If I could host my own web show, it would be called
"Canine Cinema Review," a show that would review other dog
shows, like this one.
Today, this show is amazing.
See, I'm good at this.
No more stupid cats made of Pop-Tarts
flying through space.
I would dissect classics like "K-9," "Beethoven," and
"Beethoven's 2nd." And it would celebrate the triumphs
of dog cinema.
I'm going to poop now.
Cubby.
Click Subscribe.
Lady makes happy squeals when people click Subscribe.
It's funny.
It sounds like a hyper squirrel.
She is a hyper squirrel.
Lady back next week.
Bye.
[MUSIC PLAYING]