- (sighs) The sound of those- - Come on kids, hurry up!
- Ocean waves- - Leave your flip flops on!
You're gonna burn your feet!
- Everything okay? - Oh geez, Kim,
it's like walking through hot coals out there.
- Oh, it's not so bad.
- Oh gosh, it's like a mile walk from the car.
- I can see your car. It's like 14 feet.
- It's like I'm Moses in the desert.
- Okay, a little dramatic.
- Oh gosh, you ready for a cold one?
- It's 9:00 AM. - Kim.
- Yeah? - We're at the beach.
You know, at the lake, we're usually through a Mary by now.
- A who? - A bloody Mary.
- You've got a huge cooler. Is that your lunch?
- Oh, these are just our morning snack.
- A morning snack? So there are afternoon, okay.
- I've got chips and dips.
I've got Pringles. - Wow.
- We've got some fruits and vegetables.
I mean, I try to make the kids eat 'em but they never do.
- I think I have a bottle of water in here.
- I've got a nice ribbon jello
- Maybe a granola bar.
- I think I've also got a chilled tuna noodle salad
in here somewhere, here it is.
- Tuna salad on the... (gagging)
- It's so refreshing. - Sounds delicious.
- Well gosh, Kim, you burnin' up in that thing?
- Oh no, it's a rash guard.
- Do you want me to take a look
or (whispers) is it contagious?
- No, I'm trying to watch my sun exposure.
- I know exactly what you mean.
- Wow. - Yeah.
It doesn't look too bad though, right?
I'm kind of glowing though?
- It's not so much like here or like here, but like-
- Yeah. - Right here.
- It's like a contour? Is this how they contour?
This happens every year. It's like my base tan.
- Base tans aren't real. - It's okay though.
We got one of those cute little sun tarps like you and Penn.
- Oh, a Shibumi!
Yeah, I feel like everyone has one, right?
- Yeah, you know, we're not that fancy.
We made a faux-bumi. - Faux-bumi, okay.
- Steve brought an old tent, and we've got some poles,
so it should workout great.
- That's gonna blow away
and definitely impale other beach goers.
- No, it's not. - Yeah.
- Oh geez, this sand is everywhere!
- We're at the beach, what do you expect?
- Between the sand and the salt,
everything I'm putting in my mouth is gritty.
- You get used to it. Hey, listen, I'm gonna swim.
You wanna come? - Oh, for sure!
- [Penn] We caught something!
- It looks like they caught a dogfish.
- [Penn] It's a baby shark!
- Oh, kids, kids, outta the water,
outta the water right now!
- It's a dogfish, it's harmless.
- It's a baby shark, Kim!
- I mean, technically it can sting, but it's super rare.
- I mean, if there's a baby shark nearby
then the mommy shark is nearby.
(intense music) It's just like the song
the whole family's out there in the ocean, okay?
- It is not a real shark.
- Kids, only up to your ankles.
Only up to your ankles, okay?
- Make sure you do the stingray shuffle.
- Well, that sounds like a fun dance.
- It's when you shuffle your feet,
it scares away the stingray.
- I thought stingrays were only in Florida.
- No, they're everywhere,
but again, the sting is super rare.
- Okay, kids, get out, we're just gonna look at the water.
- Yeah, I haven't even seen any jellyfish on the shore.
- Kids, shuffle faster, stingray shuffle faster, come on.
- Hey, if there were dangerous marine life in the area,
they'd put up a purple flat.
- What color is it now? - [Kim] Yellow, we're fine.
- Okay, that's not so bad. - Ah, it's red now.
- It's red, red?
- It might just be a rip current.
- Oh, we get those on the lake up north.
- Lakes don't have rip current, silly.
- What lakes exactly are you going to, Kim?
- Oh, I avoid lakes. - Oh gosh, why?
- There could be alligators. - There are no alligators.
No, there's no alligators up north.
- (gasps) I just read about one on the news!
- That's not a northern lake thing.
- It was in Kalamazoo.
- Well, that's just Kalamazoo for ya.
- And the bottom is so slimy.
It's like, oh, what are you touching? (yelling)
- You know what? You get used to it. Lakes are the best.
There's no salt in your mouth.
There's no sharks about to attack your children.
- So super rare.
- There's no dance choreography
to avoid dangerous marine life.
- So if you're so bothered by everything at the beach,
why are you here? - That is a good question.
(playful music) Do you wanna Pringle?
I'm just eating it outta the container
like a complete savage.
This happened yesterday.
I think I accidentally put on some moisturizer
instead of my sunscreen,
but I got aloe back in the fridge, so.
I think, you know, you do, the cool of the aloe,
it just comes right out.
You could also take some vinegar on some wash cloths
and pulls the burn right out, I'll be fine.