Okay, I'm not ready for normals Kevin
Do you want to do intermediate bots first?
Those were beginner bots?
Welcome, welcome
Let's go, let's go!
I- Okay, so, full fucking disclosure
I haven't fucking played League of Legends since..
I'm- You can already tell I'm stressed 'cause I'm cussing so much
I haven't played League of Legends since 2016...
When I was in the pits of my deepest depressive slump ever...
...and my only coping mechanism was League of Legends
...and thank god that period of my life is behind me yeah?
Welcome! Thank you everyone for coming by
what is inevitably gonna become a very toxic stream...
Do you see my brother greyed out on the side?
*laughs*
That's Kevin!
...alright
Give me your... umm...
*lip smack*
Favorite pickup line
K: Favorite pickup line?
Y: Yeah, Kevin Nguyen lookin' ass
What's your favorite pickup line? K: Oh
K: Hey babe, are you from Tennessee?
K: 'Cause you're the only 10 I see
Y: EUGH What the fuck?!
I love how basic that was!
I see uh you are a man of the classics
K: Yeah that's how I have a girlfriend, so I mean Y: *hysterical laughter*
K: I dropped that one line and it just worked Y: I'm being attacked
Y: We're all being attacked, chat
Y: Alright everyone say hi to Kevin, hello Kevin, this is my brother
Y: There are other players?
K: Uh, yeah, 'cause we're like five real people against five bots
Y: Okay... I autolocked Jinx is that rude..
K: Nah, you're good
Y: That's what I usually do
K: If we lose this game, let's just play Apex after this
Y: What?! Uh no! K: *laughter*
K: Don't worry, it's impossible to lose
Y: Oh, I had Mafia Jinx, I forgot (she forgot :skull:)
Y: Yeah, let's go!
*Ying showing off her skin collection*
Y: Oh!
I literally don't remember my controls!
Oh my god, my fingers were on WASD
*cries in Genshin addict*
Y: Um, hold on, okay, Q, W, E
Y: R????
Okay.
Y: I'M ALREADY SWEATING, I'M SO NERVOUS
Y: I- My- The current mood is like:
I hope none of you know this feeling, it feels like I cheated on my girl for five years, and now I'm asking for her back
And she's about to make me pay
Y: *Primo Geovishap death wail*
K: Did you know if you press D and F at the same time your character starts doing a little dance?
Y: Isn't that just gonna flash + whatever? Flash heal?
K: Nono, you have to press at the same time
Y: I feel like I'm not capable of pressing D and F at the same time
Yingbro don't do this to them
Ying doesn't even have flash...
Y: OH MY F***ING GOD I DON'T HAVE FLASH?!?!
Y: *inhale* I HAVE GHOST???
*league ghost sound*
Y: NOOOOOO
K: Woah look at you wow you're running so quick
Y: WHYYYYYY
Y: WHERE WAS I SUPPOSED TO SET THAT I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER
Y: I don't remember how to cs (x3)
I don't- I DON'T REMEMBER HOW TO CS
Y: NONO THIS ONE'S MINE
Y: b*tch.
*clicking intensifies*
Y: Okokokokokok OKAY OKAY
Y: Me and my-
Y: NOOOOO
Yes.
Y: Okay, this is ass, this is ass, this is ass
Y: Ass, ass, baby
K: You ready you ready? We're gonna get level 2 real soon
K: After this minion we get level 2 Y: Okay! K: And then we'll f**k 'em up
K: Ready? Let's go
K: F**K 'EM UP!!
Y: Uhh K: PIRATE GO FIRST!
Y: I DON'T KNOW WHERE MY CURSOR IS
*Kevin cheering*
Y: I LITERALLY FUH(???)
Y: I was in her face 'cause I didn't know where I was clicking... *laughing*
K: (unfazed) CHARGE THROUGH THE ROBOTS!! Bot diff!!
Y: I'm gonna f***ing cry... I hate this game so much (like a true League player...)
Y: I have so many traumatic memories coming back right now...
K: Oh yay!
*out of mana sound* Y: Wait why isn't it letting me...
*keyboard clicking*
Y: I can't see... zap? Zap? Zap? Why isn't it zapping? K: Oh sh*t, oh sh*t
Y: Oh, Miss Fortune's back, f*** me
Y: *screaming* K: Oh, careful
Announcer: You have been slain. Y, screeching: I DIED TO A TURRET?!
Y: Hey hey hey ah K: Woah woah woah ahhh
Y: Nonono
*Ying laughing hysterically*
K: Ying, I'll get it Y: I'M DOING MA BESTT
Y: I don't have flash, I'm gonna dieee K: RUN RUN
K: Oh no, no
*more ying laughing*
Blitzcrank: The time of man has come to an end
Ying: I swear I just heard Blitz say "but I love men"
K: Woah woah woah why you shooting me?
Y: 'Cause Blitz said I love men
K: We can go back home to grab some mana, I think you have a lot of money too
Y: How do I go home again? Back? B? For back?
K: Uh, just press B
K: Oh not in front of their tower... Y: Mm it's okay..
K: Oh! Okay
Y: Nevermind, it was not okay.
Y: Yaaaaay
Y: This is- I'm not kidding-this is literally bringing back traumatic memories
K: *chuckles* Y: I'm like, I'm having not a good time
K: You're not rusty at all, that's bullsh*t
Y: WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING *keyboard slapping intensifies* K: You're doing fine!
Y: Sorry, I like cannot-HOW DO PEOPLE STREAM LEAGUE OF LEGENDS?
(because we like pain, Ying)
Y: I CAN'T DO ANYTHING!!
Y: Okok, oh right there are rocks!! We have to shoot the rocks!!
Y: HEY B****!
Y: Dammit...
Y: Get fukd, m8
Y: Nonono, I was the one that got f***ed :(
Y: This is fun, okay so this is bringing back good memories
Y: ..of like being in enemy base and destroying everything (Ying 12th Fatui Harbinger??)
K: *nervous chuckle*
Y: I usually wasn't here 'cause I suck at League so.. usually I was dying...
Y: Okay.. I'm not ready for normals Kevin...
K: Do you want to do intermediate bots first?
Y: THOSE WERE BEGINNER BOTS???
K: ...alright let's upgrade it one time.. let's do intermediate bots, and then we'll play against real people
*Ying pain sounds*
Y: It's okay! Everything's gonna be okay! (first stage of grief: denial)
Y: 'Cause I have Star Guardian Jinx...
K: And still no flash...
Y: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Y: Imagine having flash yeah... dude...
Y: I don't... *pained laughter*
Y: It's okay I'm gonna ghost you! We're gonna ghost..
Y: How do I- How do I dance again?
K: Uh, control + 3
Y: yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah Go Jinx go!
*Ying providing lovely dance music*
Y: Okay we're gonna go
K: Remember, you got heal
Y: Oh, I do have heal
Y: D? *ghost sounds*
Y: No. That's ghost. F? *heal sounds*
K: Try to heal yourself.. what the flip flops...why am I running fast
Y: *evil laughter*
Y: wah I move so quick...
K: woah woah she's trolling! She's trolling!
K: I'm trolling! I'm trolling!
K: Ohh I died to a robot!
*Ying laughing*
Y: My coach, ladies and gentlethems...
*uwu voice* Y: Oh nyeow Mitchew wedeemed an uwu...
Y: So weew gonna do uwu Weeg of Wegends.. oh no... Weeg of Wegends...
Y: Weeg of Wegends.. OH NO I have to become a chibi...
Y: NOOOO MY CS
Y: ok. much better.
Y: Hey Wucian!
Y: AHH THE TWAP! THE TWAP!
Y: you want a fwoogah uwu voice? thatll be one hundwed bits pwease
K: I'm only 100 bits???
Y: yeah, youwe cheap
K: aw, man
Y: do an uwu woice
K: weww, I'm gonna sound like pwobe now
Y: PWOBE DOES NOT SOUND LIKE THAT YOU TAKE THAT BWACK RIGHT NEOW
Y: i wike how kevins uwu voice is just him shooting his voice up wike 3 octaves...
K: i'm gonna cwy if- if you
*contemplating life*
K: Yo fork this bro, it's gotta be at least 1000 bits
Y: NONONOONO NO I zapped the wrong way..
Y: FUUCKING NO I MISED EVERYTHING...I missed every skill
K: Wait, if you look at your minimap and you know how it says 4, and 1, and 2
Y: Oh right, there's a minimap.. (typical ADC player)
Y: NO GET AWAY FROM MY F***ING TURRET YOU B****
Y: Is this Valorant? *cackling*
Y: I'M FLYIIING
Y: LOOK AT JINX GOOO!!!
Y: GO GO GOOO!!!
Y: Never used ghost, what does it do
Y: Wait, sugarplumelegy, I cannot tell if you're joking
Y: But ghost makes you run fast
Y: Um.. Im- hi raiders, I'm Ying, nice to meet you
Y: I'm- I'm playing Raid- Raid?
Y: I'm playing League of Legends..
Y: For- for bad reasons...
Y: Ying is on ultra instinct I- I literally do- AHHHHHH IM GONNA DIE
Y: NOOOOOO
Y: NOOOOO
*angry bird noises*
Y: I hate dying to bots-f***ing hate dying to bots
Y: Wait, you want some Get Jinxed? *clears throat aggresively*
*kazoo cover(?)*
K: Are you okay? Are you having a seizure? What's going on
Y: It's a kazoo redeem...
K: Oh..
Y: Eh, bottoms in chinese (中文)
Y: Probe already taught me (好像曾经教过我) K: Uh, zero, zero (零)
Y: Zero? (零) K: Yeah
Y: Zero? How do you know this?! (零,你怎么知道这个??)
Y: Why do you know this vocabulary?? (你怎么这种单词都知道)
K: Uhh... Don't question it man.. don't (别要) Y: WHY (为什么)
K: Why are you asking all these questions for? (你问怎么多问题干嘛)
*Ying laughing*
Y: I'm suspicious of you (很怀疑你)
K: Don't be... (不要)
Y: What kinds of things are you watching online now? (在网上看什么样的东西你现在)
K: Ice skating anime... (滑冰) Y: Ice skating... anime... ahhhhh
Y: Yuri on Ice...
K: You know? I like to watch those 塞屁眼的 you know? (roughly translates to stuffed asshole)
Y: 塞屁眼的?
*Kevin correcting her pronounciation*
K: Let's do one word at a time (一干一干单词来把)
K: Stuffed, like stuffed full (塞, 塞满东西) Y: Stuffed full of things... ( 塞满东西)
Y, realizing: OHH NOOOO NONONONONO
Y: Stuffed- NO ( 塞) *Kevin laughing*
K: Hurry, Garen is going to stuff our ;) ( 塞屁眼)
Y: Wow, thank god we didn't lose to bots, huh?
K: Of course not
Y: I mean we- it could happen...
Y: I have two money... two money... :(
Y: Wait, I can choose weapons? BOYFRIEND SWORD!
Y: I'm kidding, i'm kidding, i'm kidding
Y: BOYFRIEND SWORD
Y: Wow, this is very complicated
Y: And my brain is very small...
K: 'Kay, once you figure it out it'll be super easy
Y: I... don't think I want to
Y: Alright, we've experienced TFT for the first time
Y: Now I want to sleep for 10 years
Y: Okay, I think we have time for like a normal?
K: Okay, sounds good Y: Alriiiiight
*circus music*
Y: Aw, I love Jinx's like death thing so much, with her little heart braids
Y: ...I stare at dead Jinx a lot, 'cause I'm bad at this game
*Ying sighing* Y: Oh I'm frozen :( Oh I'm back :)
*Ying laughing* Y: Ending on a defeat...
Y: Ay wait listen let's look at the damage chart y'all...
Y: I don't wanna look.. i don't wanna look...
K: Oh man... *Ying cackling*
Y: Alright chat, thanks, nice to meet Yingbro, yes? Can I get a nice to ye-meet you
Y: Nice to yeet you...
Y: Nice to meet you Yingbro... have a good night/day/afternoon/whatever time it is for you
Y: See you all next time buh-byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
[outro music]